Age-Appropriate Crushes.

[ladybug_archive]

I've felt somewhat awkward for a while, due to the fact that I crush on Jimmy Murphy to the point where I even crush on the particular characters he has played while in his forties and fifties, as well as because I think I've developed a crush on Darren McGavin, particularly for his Kolchak character. I don't know if Kolchak is meant to be the same age as the actor, but if he is, that's fiftyish. (I kind of think Kolchak might be supposed to be a bit younger, but still definitely middle-aged.)

I'm a twenty-four-year-old woman. Crushing on characters/people twenty-five to thirty years older than me is not something I ever thought would happen. Part of me wonders if it's even appropriate.

The other part of me says it's fine. They're good, upright characters and I find that just as attractive (or moreso) than their physical looks. Even though they're certainly very good-looking, I wouldn't have the same feelings if the characters weren't good people. (For the actors, yes; the characters, no.) And when there's a genuine, deep attraction, age shouldn't matter.

And how could I resist this smile? http://www.imdb.com/media/rm4266563584/tt0071003

EDIT: One thing I somehow forgot to mention but really wanted to was that the whole reason I finally felt alright about writing this entry at all is that I saw some Kolchak fans talking and a couple of them said that they were crushing on him at 7/8 years of age. That certainly made me feel a good deal less like I was a complete weirdo about doing the same thing. Especially since I'm nowhere near the youngest!

... But on the other hand, I find it very awkward and confusing when I'm more likely to crush on Jimmy/his characters in his later roles rather than the roles he did when he was actually around my age. Why is this? Did he simply play better/more mature characters when he was older? Is it the maturity I find largely attractive?

Actually, I wouldn't be surprised. I'm far more likely to fall for a character that acts like an adult rather than a kid/goofball (even though I can find goofball behavior endearing). That doesn't mean they can't be fun-loving, just that I like to see them know when to be serious and/or be serious most often.

And there's something about Jimmy's hair in those later roles that I particularly like. I can't deny that. Such luscious, gorgeous, thick waves and curls....

Okay, now I'm starting to sound like a squeeing fangirl. Which I am inside. I've excited myself and regressed my age to a squealing teenager.

Which only makes the age gap more pronounced, actually....

This musing was originally being written for the InsaneJournal, but about three paragraphs in I switched it here instead. I'm wondering if I should also move my most recent InsaneJournal musing here. The main reason I have it there is because I thought it was somewhat relevant information to the category(ies) of fics I'm offering there. I'm still undecided on whether to move it, because of that.

Comments

[kirarakim.livejournal.com]

I crush on older men all the time. I think the opposite (crushing on guys who are much younger) is a bit weird. But there is something very sophisticated about older men. :)

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

Yes, crushing on guys a lot younger feels weird to me too. I love your description; "sophisticated" is a perfect word for older men.

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

Yes, it's an awesome feeling! I'm also always thrilled to find contemporaries of mine who love old things. I noticed your age somewhere, but I'm not sure if it was in your profile or in one of your entries.

LOL. It's definitely a melancholy feeling to realize that. For me, it's not that so much; if I'm crushing on them in their young roles, it doesn't make any difference to me that in real life they're old now, even though I think about it from time to time. But it's when I crush on them when they're older that I start to wonder a bit what's going on with me, since there's such a huge age gap.

I'm glad to know I'm not the only one crushing on actors/characters in the roles where they're older!

About Kolchak: my thoughts exactly!

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

I actually tried to find that guest appearance this morning! Unfortunately, I don't see it available on Netflix at all and I'm not sure where to look. According to IMDB.com, he had two other guest spots on Gunsmoke, both of which are available. One of them also has Simon Oakland!

I haven't seen Riverboat either, but I've certainly been thinking of getting the DVDs Netflix has for it. And that is a gorgeous picture. Yes.

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

Eee, thank you! I'll definitely check it out as soon as possible. Hopefully this morning.

Awesome!

YouTube is indeed a wonderful site. I've found a lot of goodies there.

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

I just watched it. Both Darren McGavin and France Nuyen turned out excellent performances! I certainly enjoyed the hurt/comfort elements, and the characters' blossoming relationship was sweet to watch. I adored when Joe became infuriated when the Douglas brothers hurt Ching Lee.

I kind of wish the ending hadn't been left open; I would have liked to know that Ching Lee would be alright. But I loved the squee of Joe being told that the rest might be up to him. I imagine him nursing her back to health, as she did for him.

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

It took me a little by surprise, since the character was so different from Kolchak and some of Darren's other characters, but it was one of those things that just takes a little bit of time to get used to. I particularly thought Joe was horrid when he said all those things to Ching Lee before leaving, but I loved how she declared that she had listened to his words and she shouldn't have, the implication being that she realized he hadn't meant them.

Ahh, I see! That's interesting.

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

Oh, definitely.

Yes, Ching Lee is a wonderful character. It was beautiful, how determined she was to save him, and then how in turn he acknowledged his real feelings and wanted so badly to save her. Has anyone ever written fanfiction for them?

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

It would have been awesome to have seen Joe and Ching Lee added to the regular cast.

That's a surprise. I thought Chester, at least, was well-liked in the fandom.

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

Gosh. Poor Chester! Why don't they like him?

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

So gentle and sweet equals dull? That's terrible. I often like characters with a stern, serious personality, but I also love a lot of gentle and sweet characters.

Hmm. Maybe Matt missed Chester so much that he (consciously or unconsciously) started exhibiting the results of some of the lessons he had learned over the years from working with Chester.

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

Thank you! I am so getting that one.

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

Eeee, that's so exciting to get in on sales like that!

I'll just be getting the disc from Netflix for now; I'm running around trying to scrape together money for several different things.

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

Birthday money is a wonderful thing.

http://www.netflix.com

You pay a monthly fee, although you get a free month's trial.

[ladyamberjo.livejournal.com]

Oh, pfft, Darren McGavin is totally tappable. He's got an adorable smile and must have a decent sense of humor, and that's sexy.

I have a wicked dead-actor crush on Robert Shaw. What does that say about me? XD And that guy in my icon right there is middle-aged and a cartoon, and I'd still have his Flash-animated pixel-babies. That's probably even worse. But hah, I'm glad I have an appropriate icon for these posts.

But agreeing with everyone who said it would be much creepier to crush on, say, a twelve or thirteen-year-old. Or maybe if a guy was, say, seventy or eighty, that might be sort of weird. But forties and fifties, nah. That's the age when men get all experienced and sophisticated and probably aren't driven purely by hormones. ...and I feel like this comment got really creepy somewhere along the line, and for that I apologize.

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

Yesss.

Robert Shaw is a good-looking man.

LOL. Somehow it doesn't seem as strange to me in animation.

I love the way you summed that up. I haven't found anything creepy in the comment at all!

[rose-of-pollux.livejournal.com]

Ah, well, I crush on 60s-era Richard Dawson and Robert Clary; at that time, they were in their late 30s and early 40s respectively and I'm not that much younger than you are--and I also like to think that Newkirk and LeBeau were meant to be younger than Richard and Robert (LeBeau certainly doesn't look like he's in his 40s...).

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

Wow, I had no idea that they were that old when they took those roles. I thought they were probably no more than their early thirties. And I figured the characters were either around that or a bit younger.

[rose-of-pollux.livejournal.com]

**gah, somehow, this got lost in a shuffle in my email**

Yep. Well, Richard was in his lower-mid-thirties in the pilot, but was 40 when the series ended and hadn't aged that much at all, but Robert was actually 39 in the pilot, and I was surprised to find out that he was the oldest of the good guys--he's older even than Bob Crane, yet he looked so young--and Bob Crane was noticeably going gray in the final season)! And I'm realizing that the characters had to be younger than the actors--the show ran from '65 to '72, but covered late '42 to early '45.

In that recent interview, Richard was marveling at how Robert was the only surviving member of the cast other than himself, though that was more because of what he'd been through in his youth. **hugs Robert** They're 77 and 85 now. ^^ And Robert's still doing stuff--on his website, he put up a pic of a painting he had done last year. **falls over in amazement**

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

I wonder what causes some people to start graying so early.

That's awesome that Robert's still active with stuff!

[rose-of-pollux.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I wonder... Thing is, though, when I was watching the eps of that soap opera where Robert finally was going gray, I couldn't help but think that he did look cute with salt-and-pepper hair. **headdesk** http://www.matisse-picasso.org/graphics/robertclaryshadow.jpg
Though my crush is restricted to LeBeau-era Robert. XD;

Yesssss. X3

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

There's definitely nothing wrong with finding graying hair attractive. Jimmy's hair was grayish-brown in the seventies and it was just as lovely. And yes, Robert looks good too!

[rose-of-pollux.livejournal.com]

Glad I'm not the only one who thinks so. ^^

X3

[cynicallia.livejournal.com]

When I was nineteen I met a man who was thirty-two years my senior. I wound up marrying him and we've never regretted falling in love. We have been friends and lovers for six years (as of next month), and rarely ever argue or get mad at eachother, we're completely uninhibited about showing affection in public, and we take care of eachother's moms. I was never really attracted to pups (boys my age), and always felt at ease with older people, so he suits me just fine. Follow your heart and mind together, and it might lead to your Soul Mate.

...eh, don't feel akward about your crushes. It's fine, and may be temporary, so just enjoy it and try to stay out of trouble.

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

That's beautiful. I'm always happy to hear about relationships like that working out in real life! I wish you both all the best.

[northeastwind.livejournal.com]

Crushing on older guys = not unusual at all. You should talk to some of my classmates. LOL. If it is the maturity that you find attractive, then it makes sense that your crushes would tend to be older men, huh?

Baw, he does look cute. XD

Also, hair. HAIR IS AWESOME. Especially when pretty. LOL.

Ah, yes, InsaneJournal. I was thinking about backing my stuff up there when you and Rose mentioned it, but then I decided I don't have enough stuff to warrant that. LOL. That's a good idea, though, and 100 userpics = WIN. I can see why you'd want to be picky about what musings go up there, too.

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that's definitely true.

Yesss!

Beautiful hair is a glorious thing!

You could back up the stuff you want most, if you didn't want everything. I need to find some active asylums/communities to visit, so I'll have an excuse to use more userpictures without putting up musings that probably don't belong there.

[darkspellmaster.livejournal.com]

Crushing on older guys isn't that bad, nor is it bad to fall for a man that's older or younger then you are. The only thing I worry about if one were to date someone that was much older then they were is the issue of being seen as a:

1. Sugar daddy where people will think he's dating you for your youth.

2. Gold Digger, because why would a younger woman want to date an older man.

Honestly I have crushed on older actors before, though I do tend to prefer guys being closer to me in age or younger. That's not bad right? ^_^;;;

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I've kind of been concerned about those two, particularly the first one. But since it's fictional guys, and celebrities, for me, I don't suppose either of those things would really be a concern in this case.

Nope, that's certainly not bad! I'm sure that's more the norm.

[darkspellmaster.livejournal.com]

No they shouldn't. He's got an interesting history, althogh for me I prefer Lee Marvin. He had an awesome series M-squad. He was a pretty cool person in real life too.

Oddly my crushes on fictional charcters have always been younger then me by several years. T_T I pray I'm not seen as a cougar.

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

I tried M Squad, but I didn't like it nearly as much as Highway Patrol with Broderick Crawford. However, I admit my view was probably colored because I didn't like seeing my beloved Jimmy Murphy playing a mentally unstable murderer. I've thought I should try the show again. That's awesome that Lee Marvin was a cool person in real life!

My crushes on fictional characters can range anywhere from a few years younger than me to around the same age to older.