Lucky_Ladybug (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
ladybug_archive) wrote2005-10-08 10:09 pm
ladybug_archive) wrote2005-10-08 10:09 pm
Entry tags:
Blurbness
The last two Grand Prix episodes aired earlier. ^^ I loved them, though I feel sad thinking of how Siegfried's anger and pain drove him pretty much to madness. Poor little Leonhard.... He's such an adorable kid, and so pure, to be able to just forgive Siegfried for everything. Of course, forgiveness isn't the same as trust, and I imagine it took a long time before Siegfried was able to regain Leonhard's trust. I have various assorted angsty ideas for the two of them, some for RPs and some for stories and some that will probably overlap, since I often test story ideas in RPs. Their relationship really intrigues me. It seems so different from any of the other sibling relationships on YuGiOh.
I'm also intrigued by the idea of what Joey's reaction would be if he saw Siegfried selflessly trying to protect Leonhard from something and getting hurt himself. Joey seems to hate Siegfried even more than Seto, and that's really saying something. XD
I also keep having this random fic idea of Alister sitting in a darkened corner, finally breaking down and crying and looking at the locket with his family's pictures in it, and then Valon finding him in there and them talking. I see Alister being closed off as usual and Valon getting frustrated and telling Alister that he wants to help him bear the pain. Alister would probably tell him that he couldn't, and perhaps Valon would yell and say that Alister wasn't the only one to lose a loved one, and that Valon knows what it's like too.
I was drawing a picture yesterday of Alister staring at the locket. That was sparked because I was irritated after reading a bizarre description of Alister that talked of him being self-absorbed, insecure, and hanging around in Raphael's shadow. WTH? Okay, granted, I think Alister's somewhat insecure, but he is not self-absorbed. Not even the dub makes it seem like that, even though they did give him a lot of attitude. And where does he ever linger in Raphael's shadow? While he's insecure, he's not that insecure, and he's not some pathetic puppy dog who follows Raphael around everywhere. He's a loner, just like Valon, and stays closed off from people.
Stacey sent me her Mother Earth CD. =3 I adore it so much. **purrs and pets it.** The songs are just awesome and deep. I do believe that Deceiver of Fools is becoming my favorite, as it is hers. In one sense, it really sounds like it's talking all about Yami Marik and how Marik must overcome him. And Dark Wings reminds me of Doom Arc Dartz in places. Within Temptation is such a great band. Since I'm having such trouble sending Deceiver of Fools to anyone, maybe I'll put it on Yousendit.
For the last several days I've been writing the second part to the blurb I posted the other day, where Siegfried was stabbed. For the next part, I wanted to detail his out of body experience, and I even brought in Brunnhilde for a cameo. XD; I've been toying with that idea for a while now as well, and it seemed to fit here. The blurb's in italics because it's Siegfried's remembrance of the experience while he's recovering.
The pain as the knife slammed into his body was unbelieveable. Dizzily Siegfried staggered back, trying to grab for the handle and pull the weapon out, but he felt oblivion sweeping over him before he could. His heart was racing and he felt as though it had just suffered a tremendous shock. Breathing had suddenly become difficult, if not completely impossible. As his legs were kicked out from under him and he fell back in the chair, everything went black.
It could have been a few minutes or even a mere few seconds before Siegfried opened his eyes again, but when he did, he found that he was laying prone on the floor. What happened? he wondered. His mind was completely clear, and he recalled what had taken place right before he had lost consciousness, but he could not understand how he had ended up on the floor. Confused, he sat up and found that the wound was gone when he reached to touch the spot. He stared at his hand, certain that he was seeing things and that there must be blood on it, but when he looked down at his chest there was no wound and no knife.
Have I been healed? he asked himself as he slowly got to his feet. Or was it all a fantasy to begin with? But then he saw the blood splattered on the carpet around him. It had not been a fantasy. Someone had been wounded, and he knew that he had been.
Slowly he turned to look at the chair that he had collapsed into moments before. His eyes widened in sheer disbelief when he saw that he, or rather, his body, was still slumped within it. The knife was still plunged into the stilled chest, appearing to be mere centimeters away from his heart, and blood was dripping from the wound. Siegfried stared, as if transfixed, and realized that he did not know at all what to do now. By all indications, it seemed that he was dead. And yet, he obviously was not dead as in "ceasing to exist"; he could still see, hear, think, and feel---though when he reached out and tried to pull the knife out of his mortal body, he found that he could not. Instead, his hand passed right through.
This seemed to bring him out of his trance. He looked around the office, searching for the unknown man who had stabbed him, but all was quiet. His murderer had already made a hasty escape. He was alone.
I'm dead, he said to himself in disbelief. That wound . . . or some effect from it . . . killed me. But . . . what do I do now? It seemed that he was not going to proceed on to an afterlife. Or perhaps this was the afterlife, just not as he had imagined it would be. Perhaps he would be doomed to remain here, aimlessly wandering through the world that he had once lived in.
He narrowed his eyes angrily, not wanting to accept his fate. He wanted to live. There was too much he had to do to simply give up and die. He was not as his father had been. And he had Leonhard to think of. If he was dead, what would happen to the child? It was true that he was an arrogant, vain, and ruthless businessman, but he still loved his brother. Leonhard meant everything to him, and he was the only person alive who knew of and had seen Siegfried's kind side. Why should he have to give up his life now because some insane assassin had decided that he should?
In desperation he turned back and struggled repeatedly to get back into his body, but each time he was struck back as if a barrier had been erected between him and the mortal shell. At last he stepped back, forced to forget the futile efforts. It was not working, and he was growing angrier, not to mention somewhat panicked.
It felt so surreal, to be standing in the darkened room staring at himself---and without the use of a mirror. His body was lifeless and cold, and he could see that the flesh was a sickly pale color. He frowned, clenching a fist, and then turned away as he heard the door open. Was the murderer returning for some reason?
He was horrified when he saw that it was actually Leonhard entering the room. "Leonhard! Don't come in here, younger brother!" he yelled in vain, knowing that the child would not be able to hear him but yet not being able to stop himself from trying. "This is not something you should have to see! Please, Leonhard . . . go back!" It was hopeless to even try. He watched helplessly as Leonhard came over, soon discovering his body and the knife. The child gave an alarmed cry as he backed up, right up against where his brother's spirit was standing. Siegfried reached out, trying to lay his hands on the boy's shoulders, but of course he could not. Leonhard shivered, however, as if feeling some invisible, chilling touch.
Now Leonhard leaned over again, trying to read the note that he had realized was there. Siegfried's green eyes narrowed as he noticed as well. He had been so distraught and bewildered over discovering that he was dead that he had not stopped to notice the piece of paper that had been stuck through the knife. He read it now with Leonhard, furious and indignant at the contents. So! The murderer thought he was the Angel of Death, did he? That was the implication the message gave. He had apparently decided to kill Siegfried because he believed that the businessman deserved it. That outraged Siegfried. No one knew what he was actually like. He did not care if people misjudged him, because he often quite deliberately gave off an image of himself that was pompous and vain. But when they decided to take matters into their own hands and be the judge, jury, and executioner, then Siegfried drew the line. That was not right. Either the culprit had not stopped to think about how it would hurt poor Leonhard, or he had not cared in the first place. Siegfried would not be surprised.
He was startled out of his thoughts as the child tore past him, his hand over his mouth as he ran into the bathroom and slammed the door behind him. Siegfried watched him go, sickened at how this was affecting his poor brother. In his short life, Leonhard had seen both of their parents laying dead, but only at their respective wakes. He had never seen anyone dead and bleeding from whatever fatal wounds they had received. It was no wonder that he would feel nauseous at the sight of such a thing, and it was likely that this would leave him with emotional scars in the future. "Leonhard," Siegfried whispered softly.
He looked back to his motionless corpse, again with determination, and tried once more to enter. Again he was thrown back by some invisible force. He gave a loud German curse, since he knew Leonhard could not hear him, and then straightened up as he looked toward the bathroom. He gave Leonhard his privacy, waiting until he heard the sink come on before going to the door and phasing through. Sadly he watched the child, his soul twisting when he heard Leonhard's pitiful whispers of "If I'd only stayed. . . ." He had never wanted his brother to carry a burden such as that. It was not fair. Leonhard did not deserve this.
"No, younger brother," Siegfried whispered softly as he walked over and tried again desperately to lay his hand on the boy's shoulder. "You must never think that. You only would have died as well . . . though . . . I wonder if you would have prefered that." He could not bear the thought of anything happening to Leonhard, but he had to wonder if such feelings were partially selfish. Perhaps Leonhard would be in more pain now, knowing that he would have to carry on now that his brother was dead. He would be forced to take over the Schroider Corporation, even though he was unprepared for such a task. Most likely he would always be haunted by what he had seen here tonight, and perhaps even being in this office afterward would be unbearable for him. And if Siegfried was forced to always stay by him, longing to speak with him and offer comfort but knowing that he could not, he would indeed feel as though he were in Hades. It had already been agony enough just in the few moments since Leonhard had arrived.
Leonhard sniffled, finally venturing back into the office. Slowly Siegfried followed, wondering what the poor child was going to do now. His soul further twisted as he watched Leonhard checking in vain for a pulse. Even though the boy knew it was hopeless, he had still tried to hope anyway---but his hoping had been in vain. Siegfried was not still alive . . . at least not on a mortal plane.
After Leonhard removed the knife from Siegfried's flesh, the man tried once more to enter his body and again failed. He clenched a fist in frustration, not wanting to accept that this was the end and that he would not be able to return. Most certainly this was not the way that Siegfried had wanted to die. He had not even thought much about dying before, or whether he believed that death was the end of existence. He supposed that now he would never be able to think of it that way again, though this was worlds beyond any concept of an afterlife that he had read about in religions or mythologies. It seemed endlessly dreary and depressing, and absolutely frustrating. More than anything he wanted to somehow get back in his body, and it was even worse since it was right in front of him, and since he was seeing Leonhard's grief and pain. If he had simply been sent to the traditional Heaven or Hell, and could not see what was happening, he doubted that it would be as hard to come to terms with as this was. Or perhaps he was wrong and he would have been just as agonized, since he would have known that Leonhard was suffering, even if he had not been able to see him.
"I'm sorry, Leonhard," he said softly as the child hugged his body and wept. "I was never the brother I should have been." He wanted to gently push the boy's hair back, a comforting gesture he had done at times when Leonhard had been very young, but of course he could not. Even so, he laid his transparent hand on Leonhard's head. This time the magenta-haired boy was too caught up in his grief to notice the chilling touch. "Even though you have such a pure heart as to be able to forgive what I did to you during the Grand Prix tournament, that does not change what happened nor does it make it better. My hatred and anger drove me to insanity. I was obsessed with besting the Kaibas at all costs, and I never stopped to think about how it was hurting you." He still regretted how their relationship had fallen apart. It had never been the same since he had been trained to take over SchroiderCorp. And then he had further damaged it because of his hatred and pain. "I'll never have the chance to try to make it up to you. . . ."
Even though they were getting along better than they once had, Siegfried could still sense that there was a certain tension. He did not know if Leonhard even fully trusted him. And why should he? He would not know if Siegfried was plotting something else to discredit KaibaCorp. Siegfried doubted that he would ever be able to ever completely regain his brother's trust. Leonhard had readily forgiven him, but forgiveness was not the same thing as trust. Siegfried sighed sadly, embracing the child as best as he could but knowing that he could not offer any comfort that would actually be felt.
"Do you want a second chance?"
He started at the sound of the quiet female voice. As he looked up, he saw a majestic figure standing before him with flowing sapphire blue hair and a determined, serious gaze. She was dressed in armor, complete with a winged headdress, and a long cape spilled over her shoulders and down her back. He stared at her, wondering if this was a hallucination. She looked exactly like his favorite Valkyrie, Brunnhilde.
"You will be given another chance, if you wish it," she spoke again, half-turning.
He continued to gaze at her, bemused and overwhelmed by everything. "Who are you?" he asked finally.
"Don't you know?" she retorted calmly, and then was gone.
The next thing Siegfried was aware of was that he had returned to his body. The pain of the wound was overwhelming and he felt very dizzy. His mind was clouded over and he could barely think, but he knew that he had been sent back. He could feel Leonhard gripping his hand and he could hear him calling to him. The mists of confusion and semi-consciousness passed just long enough for Siegfried to be able to recognize Leonhard and smile at him. Then he slipped back into his confusion, while Leonhard called for the medics.
I'm also intrigued by the idea of what Joey's reaction would be if he saw Siegfried selflessly trying to protect Leonhard from something and getting hurt himself. Joey seems to hate Siegfried even more than Seto, and that's really saying something. XD
I also keep having this random fic idea of Alister sitting in a darkened corner, finally breaking down and crying and looking at the locket with his family's pictures in it, and then Valon finding him in there and them talking. I see Alister being closed off as usual and Valon getting frustrated and telling Alister that he wants to help him bear the pain. Alister would probably tell him that he couldn't, and perhaps Valon would yell and say that Alister wasn't the only one to lose a loved one, and that Valon knows what it's like too.
I was drawing a picture yesterday of Alister staring at the locket. That was sparked because I was irritated after reading a bizarre description of Alister that talked of him being self-absorbed, insecure, and hanging around in Raphael's shadow. WTH? Okay, granted, I think Alister's somewhat insecure, but he is not self-absorbed. Not even the dub makes it seem like that, even though they did give him a lot of attitude. And where does he ever linger in Raphael's shadow? While he's insecure, he's not that insecure, and he's not some pathetic puppy dog who follows Raphael around everywhere. He's a loner, just like Valon, and stays closed off from people.
Stacey sent me her Mother Earth CD. =3 I adore it so much. **purrs and pets it.** The songs are just awesome and deep. I do believe that Deceiver of Fools is becoming my favorite, as it is hers. In one sense, it really sounds like it's talking all about Yami Marik and how Marik must overcome him. And Dark Wings reminds me of Doom Arc Dartz in places. Within Temptation is such a great band. Since I'm having such trouble sending Deceiver of Fools to anyone, maybe I'll put it on Yousendit.
For the last several days I've been writing the second part to the blurb I posted the other day, where Siegfried was stabbed. For the next part, I wanted to detail his out of body experience, and I even brought in Brunnhilde for a cameo. XD; I've been toying with that idea for a while now as well, and it seemed to fit here. The blurb's in italics because it's Siegfried's remembrance of the experience while he's recovering.
The pain as the knife slammed into his body was unbelieveable. Dizzily Siegfried staggered back, trying to grab for the handle and pull the weapon out, but he felt oblivion sweeping over him before he could. His heart was racing and he felt as though it had just suffered a tremendous shock. Breathing had suddenly become difficult, if not completely impossible. As his legs were kicked out from under him and he fell back in the chair, everything went black.
It could have been a few minutes or even a mere few seconds before Siegfried opened his eyes again, but when he did, he found that he was laying prone on the floor. What happened? he wondered. His mind was completely clear, and he recalled what had taken place right before he had lost consciousness, but he could not understand how he had ended up on the floor. Confused, he sat up and found that the wound was gone when he reached to touch the spot. He stared at his hand, certain that he was seeing things and that there must be blood on it, but when he looked down at his chest there was no wound and no knife.
Have I been healed? he asked himself as he slowly got to his feet. Or was it all a fantasy to begin with? But then he saw the blood splattered on the carpet around him. It had not been a fantasy. Someone had been wounded, and he knew that he had been.
Slowly he turned to look at the chair that he had collapsed into moments before. His eyes widened in sheer disbelief when he saw that he, or rather, his body, was still slumped within it. The knife was still plunged into the stilled chest, appearing to be mere centimeters away from his heart, and blood was dripping from the wound. Siegfried stared, as if transfixed, and realized that he did not know at all what to do now. By all indications, it seemed that he was dead. And yet, he obviously was not dead as in "ceasing to exist"; he could still see, hear, think, and feel---though when he reached out and tried to pull the knife out of his mortal body, he found that he could not. Instead, his hand passed right through.
This seemed to bring him out of his trance. He looked around the office, searching for the unknown man who had stabbed him, but all was quiet. His murderer had already made a hasty escape. He was alone.
I'm dead, he said to himself in disbelief. That wound . . . or some effect from it . . . killed me. But . . . what do I do now? It seemed that he was not going to proceed on to an afterlife. Or perhaps this was the afterlife, just not as he had imagined it would be. Perhaps he would be doomed to remain here, aimlessly wandering through the world that he had once lived in.
He narrowed his eyes angrily, not wanting to accept his fate. He wanted to live. There was too much he had to do to simply give up and die. He was not as his father had been. And he had Leonhard to think of. If he was dead, what would happen to the child? It was true that he was an arrogant, vain, and ruthless businessman, but he still loved his brother. Leonhard meant everything to him, and he was the only person alive who knew of and had seen Siegfried's kind side. Why should he have to give up his life now because some insane assassin had decided that he should?
In desperation he turned back and struggled repeatedly to get back into his body, but each time he was struck back as if a barrier had been erected between him and the mortal shell. At last he stepped back, forced to forget the futile efforts. It was not working, and he was growing angrier, not to mention somewhat panicked.
It felt so surreal, to be standing in the darkened room staring at himself---and without the use of a mirror. His body was lifeless and cold, and he could see that the flesh was a sickly pale color. He frowned, clenching a fist, and then turned away as he heard the door open. Was the murderer returning for some reason?
He was horrified when he saw that it was actually Leonhard entering the room. "Leonhard! Don't come in here, younger brother!" he yelled in vain, knowing that the child would not be able to hear him but yet not being able to stop himself from trying. "This is not something you should have to see! Please, Leonhard . . . go back!" It was hopeless to even try. He watched helplessly as Leonhard came over, soon discovering his body and the knife. The child gave an alarmed cry as he backed up, right up against where his brother's spirit was standing. Siegfried reached out, trying to lay his hands on the boy's shoulders, but of course he could not. Leonhard shivered, however, as if feeling some invisible, chilling touch.
Now Leonhard leaned over again, trying to read the note that he had realized was there. Siegfried's green eyes narrowed as he noticed as well. He had been so distraught and bewildered over discovering that he was dead that he had not stopped to notice the piece of paper that had been stuck through the knife. He read it now with Leonhard, furious and indignant at the contents. So! The murderer thought he was the Angel of Death, did he? That was the implication the message gave. He had apparently decided to kill Siegfried because he believed that the businessman deserved it. That outraged Siegfried. No one knew what he was actually like. He did not care if people misjudged him, because he often quite deliberately gave off an image of himself that was pompous and vain. But when they decided to take matters into their own hands and be the judge, jury, and executioner, then Siegfried drew the line. That was not right. Either the culprit had not stopped to think about how it would hurt poor Leonhard, or he had not cared in the first place. Siegfried would not be surprised.
He was startled out of his thoughts as the child tore past him, his hand over his mouth as he ran into the bathroom and slammed the door behind him. Siegfried watched him go, sickened at how this was affecting his poor brother. In his short life, Leonhard had seen both of their parents laying dead, but only at their respective wakes. He had never seen anyone dead and bleeding from whatever fatal wounds they had received. It was no wonder that he would feel nauseous at the sight of such a thing, and it was likely that this would leave him with emotional scars in the future. "Leonhard," Siegfried whispered softly.
He looked back to his motionless corpse, again with determination, and tried once more to enter. Again he was thrown back by some invisible force. He gave a loud German curse, since he knew Leonhard could not hear him, and then straightened up as he looked toward the bathroom. He gave Leonhard his privacy, waiting until he heard the sink come on before going to the door and phasing through. Sadly he watched the child, his soul twisting when he heard Leonhard's pitiful whispers of "If I'd only stayed. . . ." He had never wanted his brother to carry a burden such as that. It was not fair. Leonhard did not deserve this.
"No, younger brother," Siegfried whispered softly as he walked over and tried again desperately to lay his hand on the boy's shoulder. "You must never think that. You only would have died as well . . . though . . . I wonder if you would have prefered that." He could not bear the thought of anything happening to Leonhard, but he had to wonder if such feelings were partially selfish. Perhaps Leonhard would be in more pain now, knowing that he would have to carry on now that his brother was dead. He would be forced to take over the Schroider Corporation, even though he was unprepared for such a task. Most likely he would always be haunted by what he had seen here tonight, and perhaps even being in this office afterward would be unbearable for him. And if Siegfried was forced to always stay by him, longing to speak with him and offer comfort but knowing that he could not, he would indeed feel as though he were in Hades. It had already been agony enough just in the few moments since Leonhard had arrived.
Leonhard sniffled, finally venturing back into the office. Slowly Siegfried followed, wondering what the poor child was going to do now. His soul further twisted as he watched Leonhard checking in vain for a pulse. Even though the boy knew it was hopeless, he had still tried to hope anyway---but his hoping had been in vain. Siegfried was not still alive . . . at least not on a mortal plane.
After Leonhard removed the knife from Siegfried's flesh, the man tried once more to enter his body and again failed. He clenched a fist in frustration, not wanting to accept that this was the end and that he would not be able to return. Most certainly this was not the way that Siegfried had wanted to die. He had not even thought much about dying before, or whether he believed that death was the end of existence. He supposed that now he would never be able to think of it that way again, though this was worlds beyond any concept of an afterlife that he had read about in religions or mythologies. It seemed endlessly dreary and depressing, and absolutely frustrating. More than anything he wanted to somehow get back in his body, and it was even worse since it was right in front of him, and since he was seeing Leonhard's grief and pain. If he had simply been sent to the traditional Heaven or Hell, and could not see what was happening, he doubted that it would be as hard to come to terms with as this was. Or perhaps he was wrong and he would have been just as agonized, since he would have known that Leonhard was suffering, even if he had not been able to see him.
"I'm sorry, Leonhard," he said softly as the child hugged his body and wept. "I was never the brother I should have been." He wanted to gently push the boy's hair back, a comforting gesture he had done at times when Leonhard had been very young, but of course he could not. Even so, he laid his transparent hand on Leonhard's head. This time the magenta-haired boy was too caught up in his grief to notice the chilling touch. "Even though you have such a pure heart as to be able to forgive what I did to you during the Grand Prix tournament, that does not change what happened nor does it make it better. My hatred and anger drove me to insanity. I was obsessed with besting the Kaibas at all costs, and I never stopped to think about how it was hurting you." He still regretted how their relationship had fallen apart. It had never been the same since he had been trained to take over SchroiderCorp. And then he had further damaged it because of his hatred and pain. "I'll never have the chance to try to make it up to you. . . ."
Even though they were getting along better than they once had, Siegfried could still sense that there was a certain tension. He did not know if Leonhard even fully trusted him. And why should he? He would not know if Siegfried was plotting something else to discredit KaibaCorp. Siegfried doubted that he would ever be able to ever completely regain his brother's trust. Leonhard had readily forgiven him, but forgiveness was not the same thing as trust. Siegfried sighed sadly, embracing the child as best as he could but knowing that he could not offer any comfort that would actually be felt.
"Do you want a second chance?"
He started at the sound of the quiet female voice. As he looked up, he saw a majestic figure standing before him with flowing sapphire blue hair and a determined, serious gaze. She was dressed in armor, complete with a winged headdress, and a long cape spilled over her shoulders and down her back. He stared at her, wondering if this was a hallucination. She looked exactly like his favorite Valkyrie, Brunnhilde.
"You will be given another chance, if you wish it," she spoke again, half-turning.
He continued to gaze at her, bemused and overwhelmed by everything. "Who are you?" he asked finally.
"Don't you know?" she retorted calmly, and then was gone.
The next thing Siegfried was aware of was that he had returned to his body. The pain of the wound was overwhelming and he felt very dizzy. His mind was clouded over and he could barely think, but he knew that he had been sent back. He could feel Leonhard gripping his hand and he could hear him calling to him. The mists of confusion and semi-consciousness passed just long enough for Siegfried to be able to recognize Leonhard and smile at him. Then he slipped back into his confusion, while Leonhard called for the medics.
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Oh yay, another picture! I really need to catch up again...college and uncooperative websites make things very, very difficult -_-;;
...oh, and on a not-quite-related note, if you're feeling sort of mentally-masochistic, I've found a a horrifying set of pictures and fanfic regarding Amelda and Varon. I mean horrifying...rather carelessly drawn, horrifically written, and filled with "Amelda's girlfriend" and for those occasions when Amelda wants to swing on the other side of the fence, pictures of him with Varon and their daughter! Yeah! They have kids together! *shudders* ...mpreg...
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Well, during Seto's duel with Siegfried, Joey was cheering for Seto. XD Dunno whether that's in the original or not.
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Er...from what I remember they were all cheering for Kaiba, so...
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