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ladybug_archiveOn early Monday, I watched It's a Wonderful Life and got plunnied. Well, it was an older plunnie that's been laying dormant for a month or so. Now it's waking up. This is a preview/test of the fic that will come out of this.
He was standing in the snow, heedless of the cold . . . and of the fact that his coat was still open. His thoughts were a horrified, confused jumble.
Was . . . was it true, what Zack had shown him? If he had never been born . . . Cloud never would have become stronger? Lucrecia never would have had children, and Hojo would have decided to use Hollander's failed experiment? Genesis would have not been able to handle it either, and he would have gone mad? Nibelheim still would have been destroyed, because of the malfunctioning reactor that Sephiroth had not told Zack how to fix, since he had not existed? And the survivors would have been taken by Hojo, as experiments? Meteor would have happened, with all failing to prevent it?
Zack would have been forced to watch, helpless, as the planet was destroyed?
That had been too much. "I want to live!" Sephiroth had screamed, pleaded, as Zack's spirit had faded from view. "God, I want to live!"
And now he was . . . somewhere. Someplace where the snow could fall.
"Don't you see, Seph?" Zack had said before he had dissipated. "Don't you see, that even though Nibelheim and Meteor could have been prevented—well, Meteor was—taking you out of the picture wouldn't help at all? You didn't just bring about a bunch of catastrophes. Your existence has a purpose for good! You've always been wrapped up in all the good stuff that happened, not just the bad!" And he had smiled a sad, wistful smile. "I don't want to hear you say that you shouldn't have been born, Seph. That's not true. That's not true at all."
Sephiroth tilted his head up, staring at the flakes. They were descending faster now, as if anxious and eager to gain the ground and reunite with their brothers.
He wanted to reunite with his loved ones as well . . . if they would have him.
"Sephiroth!"
The voice was there, yet he was so detached from it. It was somewhere else, far from him. . . .
"Sephiroth!!"
It was more insistent. And suddenly realization dawned. He was the one being called! He whirled, focusing on Cloud's snow-covered form emerging from the fog. The blue eyes were filled with many conflicting emotions. The worry was fading now, as he saw the one seeked standing before him. Now guilt was beginning to replace the concern as the dominant feeling.
"You're going to freeze to death, standing here like this," he said, gesturing to the open coat and the mostly unbuttoned shirt.
Words were still not forming. After all Sephiroth had seen, and been through, in the past hours, this was incomprehensible.
"Cloud . . ." Sephiroth continued to stare at the other. "You know me. . . ."
"Know you?" Cloud snorted. The guilt flashed again. "Look, Sephiroth . . . I didn't mean what I said. I don't even know why I said all that junk." He averted his gaze. "What happened to Zack isn't your fault. Neither is the thing with the company money. You don't deserve to go to jail."
"Jail?" The term sounded foreign on Sephiroth's lips. But . . . then yes, he was fully back. This was the life he had left behind when he had wished to have never been born! Jail . . . what was jail to him now, when he was alive, when he knew that he was cared about, when he knew that his life was not meaningless, and that his existence did not only provide pain and anguish?
He shook his head. "Is there any news about Zack?" he demanded.
Cloud nodded. "Yeah. That's part of why I was coming to find you." And the relief shining in his eyes said it all. "He came out of the coma. He's going to be fine." He could not stop the bit of a smile that sneaked free. "He was already asking about food when I left . . . after he asked about you, of course."
Of course. Sephiroth smiled too . . . or maybe it was a smirk.
"I suppose the police are waiting back at the hospital for me," he commented.
Now Cloud shook his head. "No," he said. "That's another part of why I came after you."
Sephiroth raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"
"Come on," Cloud said in response, turning to head back the way he had come.
Bewildered, Sephiroth followed.
****
The Jenova Corp infirmary was filled with people when they walked through the doors. Sephiroth stared. Everyone was there—Tifa, Vincent, Yuffie . . . even Barret and Cid. And so many employees from Jenova Corp. . . . All of them were recognizable—good, honest men and women. Were they here for Zack? He was so well-loved by nearly everyone who met him.
But the baskets and buckets and other containers. . . . What was their purpose? Everyone there was holding something, or helping to hold something. Each container was filled with money—largely cash, but also checks, and every kind of change imaginable. It was overwhelming.
"What is this?" Sephiroth asked at last.
Cloud could not help but smile. "They heard you were in trouble," he said. "They scraped together whatever they could find."
That did not make the situation any clearer in his mind! Some of these people had hated him, not trusting him even after the battles with Jenova on this world.
"And it was more than enough to make up the difference!" Cid grinned. "No sense gettin' carted off for something you didn't even do!"
Barret nodded in agreement. "And, well, Marlene woulda been upset if we'd just let it happen." He looked to his adopted daughter as she ran forward, her eyes shining.
"Cloud!" she exclaimed. "You found him!"
"Yeah," Cloud agreed, "I sure did. Half-frozen, too."
She hugged Cloud around the waist. And, to Sephiroth's shock, she ran to him as well, leaping up as she threw her arms around his neck. He had to reach out to support her.
"You're okay," she whispered, speaking into the long bangs hanging past his face. "We've been really worried!"
What could he say? There was nothing that would clearly express what he was feeling. He continued to hold her, dumbfounded as he gazed at everyone. They were setting the containers down on the desk, the chairs, the floors, anywhere they could.
One of the Jenova Corp employees smiled. "You've always been fair to us, sir," he said. "We wanted to do something for you."
"You have," Sephiroth said at last. "You all have." Slowly he shook his head.
Marlene straightened, laying a hand on his shoulders for balance. "Zack wants to see you!" she said. "Angeal and Aerith are in with him."
Sephiroth lowered the child to the floor, turning to go down the hall. He wanted a few minutes alone with Zack. The others, realizing this, lingered behind.
As he pushed open the door a moment later, three pairs of eyes turned to look. Zack was propped in a half-sitting position on the bed, a strip of gauze winding around his forehead. "Seph!" he exclaimed. "It's about time you got here!"
Aerith was holding one of his hands, gently running her fingers over his flesh. She smiled, seeing how happy and relieved her beloved now was. Angeal was standing by, his arms crossed.
"So, you came back," he greeted.
Sephiroth nodded, advancing into the room. "I heard Zack had defied medical expectations again." He looked to the brunet, who grinned up at him with tired lavender eyes.
"Sure! Couldn't leave everybody hanging!" Zack declared.
Aerith straightened. "We'll let you two have some time to yourselves," she said, heading for the door. Angeal nodded, turning to follow her.
Zack held out his hand, motioning for Seph to come closer. As he did, Zack caught his best friend's hand, gripping it firmly. "I was really hoping you'd get shocked back into getting yourself here," he said.
Sephiroth peered at him. "You remember," he realized. It was a surprise in some way; he had believed that Zack would not have any recollection of his out-of-body experience upon regaining consciousness. After all, it must have been quite a shock for him, as well.
Zack nodded. "Course," he said. He sobered. "I really hated to do that to you, Seph . . . making you see all that stuff after Cloud's mom gave me the power to do it."
"Don't apologize," Sephiroth answered immediately. "I needed to see it. I needed to know . . ." He trailed off, looking Zack up and down. The experience had taxed him. The exhaustion in his eyes was far more emotional than physical. But he was triumphant as well.
"Yeah," Zack agreed, "you did, pal. So! Are you okay now?"
Sephiroth nodded. "I am," he said. And it was true. He felt more okay now than he had in some time. He would still carry the burden of his crimes. But to know that he had accomplished, and was accomplishing, good, was an indescribable weight lifted from his soul.
"Good!" Zack said. He leaned back into the pillows, a vague trace of amusement crossing his features. "You know, in that movie, the guy who helped the main character got his wings for it."
Sephiroth shook his head. "That wouldn't fit here," he said.
Zack blinked at him. "Yeah?"
"You've always had wings," Sephiroth remarked. Zack was a free spirit who soared, bringing hope to all who knew him.
Zack smiled a bit. "And you," he said, "have never been a failure. You've got friends."
Sephiroth pondered on this for a moment. And then he gave a slow nod. It made sense.
He was standing in the snow, heedless of the cold . . . and of the fact that his coat was still open. His thoughts were a horrified, confused jumble.
Was . . . was it true, what Zack had shown him? If he had never been born . . . Cloud never would have become stronger? Lucrecia never would have had children, and Hojo would have decided to use Hollander's failed experiment? Genesis would have not been able to handle it either, and he would have gone mad? Nibelheim still would have been destroyed, because of the malfunctioning reactor that Sephiroth had not told Zack how to fix, since he had not existed? And the survivors would have been taken by Hojo, as experiments? Meteor would have happened, with all failing to prevent it?
Zack would have been forced to watch, helpless, as the planet was destroyed?
That had been too much. "I want to live!" Sephiroth had screamed, pleaded, as Zack's spirit had faded from view. "God, I want to live!"
And now he was . . . somewhere. Someplace where the snow could fall.
"Don't you see, Seph?" Zack had said before he had dissipated. "Don't you see, that even though Nibelheim and Meteor could have been prevented—well, Meteor was—taking you out of the picture wouldn't help at all? You didn't just bring about a bunch of catastrophes. Your existence has a purpose for good! You've always been wrapped up in all the good stuff that happened, not just the bad!" And he had smiled a sad, wistful smile. "I don't want to hear you say that you shouldn't have been born, Seph. That's not true. That's not true at all."
Sephiroth tilted his head up, staring at the flakes. They were descending faster now, as if anxious and eager to gain the ground and reunite with their brothers.
He wanted to reunite with his loved ones as well . . . if they would have him.
"Sephiroth!"
The voice was there, yet he was so detached from it. It was somewhere else, far from him. . . .
"Sephiroth!!"
It was more insistent. And suddenly realization dawned. He was the one being called! He whirled, focusing on Cloud's snow-covered form emerging from the fog. The blue eyes were filled with many conflicting emotions. The worry was fading now, as he saw the one seeked standing before him. Now guilt was beginning to replace the concern as the dominant feeling.
"You're going to freeze to death, standing here like this," he said, gesturing to the open coat and the mostly unbuttoned shirt.
Words were still not forming. After all Sephiroth had seen, and been through, in the past hours, this was incomprehensible.
"Cloud . . ." Sephiroth continued to stare at the other. "You know me. . . ."
"Know you?" Cloud snorted. The guilt flashed again. "Look, Sephiroth . . . I didn't mean what I said. I don't even know why I said all that junk." He averted his gaze. "What happened to Zack isn't your fault. Neither is the thing with the company money. You don't deserve to go to jail."
"Jail?" The term sounded foreign on Sephiroth's lips. But . . . then yes, he was fully back. This was the life he had left behind when he had wished to have never been born! Jail . . . what was jail to him now, when he was alive, when he knew that he was cared about, when he knew that his life was not meaningless, and that his existence did not only provide pain and anguish?
He shook his head. "Is there any news about Zack?" he demanded.
Cloud nodded. "Yeah. That's part of why I was coming to find you." And the relief shining in his eyes said it all. "He came out of the coma. He's going to be fine." He could not stop the bit of a smile that sneaked free. "He was already asking about food when I left . . . after he asked about you, of course."
Of course. Sephiroth smiled too . . . or maybe it was a smirk.
"I suppose the police are waiting back at the hospital for me," he commented.
Now Cloud shook his head. "No," he said. "That's another part of why I came after you."
Sephiroth raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"
"Come on," Cloud said in response, turning to head back the way he had come.
Bewildered, Sephiroth followed.
The Jenova Corp infirmary was filled with people when they walked through the doors. Sephiroth stared. Everyone was there—Tifa, Vincent, Yuffie . . . even Barret and Cid. And so many employees from Jenova Corp. . . . All of them were recognizable—good, honest men and women. Were they here for Zack? He was so well-loved by nearly everyone who met him.
But the baskets and buckets and other containers. . . . What was their purpose? Everyone there was holding something, or helping to hold something. Each container was filled with money—largely cash, but also checks, and every kind of change imaginable. It was overwhelming.
"What is this?" Sephiroth asked at last.
Cloud could not help but smile. "They heard you were in trouble," he said. "They scraped together whatever they could find."
That did not make the situation any clearer in his mind! Some of these people had hated him, not trusting him even after the battles with Jenova on this world.
"And it was more than enough to make up the difference!" Cid grinned. "No sense gettin' carted off for something you didn't even do!"
Barret nodded in agreement. "And, well, Marlene woulda been upset if we'd just let it happen." He looked to his adopted daughter as she ran forward, her eyes shining.
"Cloud!" she exclaimed. "You found him!"
"Yeah," Cloud agreed, "I sure did. Half-frozen, too."
She hugged Cloud around the waist. And, to Sephiroth's shock, she ran to him as well, leaping up as she threw her arms around his neck. He had to reach out to support her.
"You're okay," she whispered, speaking into the long bangs hanging past his face. "We've been really worried!"
What could he say? There was nothing that would clearly express what he was feeling. He continued to hold her, dumbfounded as he gazed at everyone. They were setting the containers down on the desk, the chairs, the floors, anywhere they could.
One of the Jenova Corp employees smiled. "You've always been fair to us, sir," he said. "We wanted to do something for you."
"You have," Sephiroth said at last. "You all have." Slowly he shook his head.
Marlene straightened, laying a hand on his shoulders for balance. "Zack wants to see you!" she said. "Angeal and Aerith are in with him."
Sephiroth lowered the child to the floor, turning to go down the hall. He wanted a few minutes alone with Zack. The others, realizing this, lingered behind.
As he pushed open the door a moment later, three pairs of eyes turned to look. Zack was propped in a half-sitting position on the bed, a strip of gauze winding around his forehead. "Seph!" he exclaimed. "It's about time you got here!"
Aerith was holding one of his hands, gently running her fingers over his flesh. She smiled, seeing how happy and relieved her beloved now was. Angeal was standing by, his arms crossed.
"So, you came back," he greeted.
Sephiroth nodded, advancing into the room. "I heard Zack had defied medical expectations again." He looked to the brunet, who grinned up at him with tired lavender eyes.
"Sure! Couldn't leave everybody hanging!" Zack declared.
Aerith straightened. "We'll let you two have some time to yourselves," she said, heading for the door. Angeal nodded, turning to follow her.
Zack held out his hand, motioning for Seph to come closer. As he did, Zack caught his best friend's hand, gripping it firmly. "I was really hoping you'd get shocked back into getting yourself here," he said.
Sephiroth peered at him. "You remember," he realized. It was a surprise in some way; he had believed that Zack would not have any recollection of his out-of-body experience upon regaining consciousness. After all, it must have been quite a shock for him, as well.
Zack nodded. "Course," he said. He sobered. "I really hated to do that to you, Seph . . . making you see all that stuff after Cloud's mom gave me the power to do it."
"Don't apologize," Sephiroth answered immediately. "I needed to see it. I needed to know . . ." He trailed off, looking Zack up and down. The experience had taxed him. The exhaustion in his eyes was far more emotional than physical. But he was triumphant as well.
"Yeah," Zack agreed, "you did, pal. So! Are you okay now?"
Sephiroth nodded. "I am," he said. And it was true. He felt more okay now than he had in some time. He would still carry the burden of his crimes. But to know that he had accomplished, and was accomplishing, good, was an indescribable weight lifted from his soul.
"Good!" Zack said. He leaned back into the pillows, a vague trace of amusement crossing his features. "You know, in that movie, the guy who helped the main character got his wings for it."
Sephiroth shook his head. "That wouldn't fit here," he said.
Zack blinked at him. "Yeah?"
"You've always had wings," Sephiroth remarked. Zack was a free spirit who soared, bringing hope to all who knew him.
Zack smiled a bit. "And you," he said, "have never been a failure. You've got friends."
Sephiroth pondered on this for a moment. And then he gave a slow nod. It made sense.
