Ramblings and Musings of the Insane, Philosophical Ladybug

Made a few new icons the other day, when I realized The Disappearing Declaration was a season 1 episode with high enough quality that the icons would probably be good. This is my favorite, although I wish I could have gotten Barry in there a little better. But this one still does better than my last attempt, I think, to get them all in fairly equally. And Sean still gets highlighted as lead singer. Awesome.

Yesterday I finally got to go in to use the birthday coupon at Build-a-Bear and I bought the bat plushie. I didn't have enough money to get the cat right then, and anyway, after Halloween the bat will be gone but the cat will still be there. And the bat is so cute! Probably the cutest bat plushie ever made. I had the oddest urge to name her Milly, and yes, it had to be with a Y. So that is what her birth certificate says.

For some weird reason, earlier in the month I was muddledly thinking that bats were rodents and naturally I didn't want any rodent plushie after this summer's disaster. (Note that I still love Mickey Mouse and any other cartoon rodents I previously liked, however. In general, they behave more like people than rodents. Heh.) I'm assuming the misconception is because Batman is sometimes called a rodent by the villains in the 1960s show. But so I Googled "Are bats rodents" and went "... Well, duh, what's the matter with me" at the information that they are not and that was the first step to feeling okay about a bat plushie. Anyway, too, I've cosplayed Rouge the Bat three times and I love Batman, so a bat plushie rather makes sense for me, doesn't it?

Also, at Build-a-Bear I was thrilled to see the online exclusives Zecora and Shining Armor! I didn't have enough money to get one of them, and anyway, I had my heart set on the bat, but I hope I'll have the chance to get them both now that I don't have to buy them online! I was so excited to see them there!

I also had a coupon for half off something at Jo-Ann's, so we went there and I found that the doll I'd put away in the back in hopes of buying it when I wasn't broke was still there, so I bought it. It will become Barry. I just hope I can find a decent doll wig. It's bizarre that I can't find a simple brown shoulder-length doll wig.

Then I've been contacted by a sweet girl who really loves my Detective Conan fics and especially my Gin/Sherry stuff. She was hoping I could finish Snow White Queen. I doubt I ever will, which I told her, but I told her how I planned for it to end and I let her see an unfinished chapter I'd apparently started years ago, and she was happy with those things.

When I was trying to help her, I ended up re-reading what I have of that fic and pondering on things regarding it and how it happened. The whole idea of Gin/Sherry is twisted to begin with, and then I was trying to figure out how to turn that twisted mess into something that could be happy for both of them. That happened mainly because when I was scoffing at the idea that the pairing could ever be anything but twisted, someone (Claude, I believe) talked to me about different possibilities that could make it end up happy. And I was curious and interested and decided to take up the challenge, so I started writing various things with them, liked it, and eventually started work on Snow White Queen.

I have to admit, I do think it's written fairly well, but it's very strange seeing me try to take the twisted canon information and make something positive out of it. I suppose maybe it's possible, especially considering those characters' backgrounds (both canon and what I invented to flesh out their pasts), but I am still pretty skeptical that it could work realistically.

It's interesting that what started as an experiment became something I genuinely loved and was enthused about. I think I always struggled a bit, though, and I think that's why the story trailed off. I just wasn't sure how to get them from Point A to Point C. Point B baffled me. That didn't stop me from writing stuff after they get to Point C, but I really needed to show how it happened and that problem stopped me in my tracks.

I used to write a lot of darker stuff that handled twisted situations, twisted characters, etc. etc. It wasn't just Detective Conan, but some of the psychological horror fics I did for YGO and maybe other categories. I think a lot of the reason why I did it was because I was encouraged and I really liked the praise I was getting. It was fun to impress people and have them feel like I was smart and deep. But I don't know, I don't feel like writing twisted things was really me. Or maybe it was me then. Eventually I got tired and worn-out and didn't want to play in many of those fields anymore. Maybe I stopped wanting to impress people so much. I still want them to like what I write, but that's not as much of my drive as it used to be.

I'm still tired. Mostly now I just want to write fun things or hurt/comfort. That doesn't mean I don't like deep subjects or exploring how characters' minds tick; that's still a lot of how my stories run. But I don't think I'm really into dealing with twisted stuff like figuring out how to make a positive relationship when the canon is Gin being possessive and sadistic towards Sherry (and of course, Sherry hating him). Somehow in the "after Point C" stories I actually did manage to get them to a more normal place where Gin wasn't sadistic and Sherry wasn't hateful and Gin's possessiveness was softened a bit into more protectiveness. And I know it probably all sounds terrible and like a bad fanfic from what I'm describing. It actually isn't as bad in actual fact; it's certainly not like Twilight or 50 Shades of Grey or something that tries to make it look like the bad stuff is okay. And it's not hearts and rainbows and suddenly everybody is good, wheeee. It's more the characters being able to gradually get past the bad things and grow and mature into better people. But I'm skeptical it could ever really happen in a situation like theirs and I don't think it's a place I want to explore again.

Some of the characters I write for are still somewhat twisted, though, like Ginger. And it certainly took a lot of pondering and struggling to try to figure out how to make it make sense that Lou could both care about Mike and forgive Ginger for shooting him. I think my essay approached the problem from all possible angles the episode hinted at and presented every possible answer. The difference with those characters is that, more unlike Gin and Vodka (or Baby Face and his gang), I do have them try to go straight. They're still antiheroes/unconventional heroes and don't like to get involved in trouble if they can at all avoid it, and Ginger can be dark and vengeful, but mostly what I write about them is cute slice-of-life, conversational fics, and mysteries and hurt/comfort.

And then there's Ecks and Wye, who are in the same sort of situation as Gin and Vodka from Detective Conan regarding employment. (I do, however, try to soften it a bit with the implied idea that Ecks and Wye are in it for the spying part and go after other spies and don't have much, if anything, to do with going after innocent civilians. I also tried to make Ecks a little sympathetic with the idea that he grew up in the organization and couldn't get out, same as I did with Gin, actually....) I honestly probably wouldn't even be interested in them if not for two factors: Ecks is played by darling Christopher Cary and Wye absolutely flipped after finding Ecks stabbed, indicating they were very close. I was immediately intrigued. Actually, the idea of interaction between Gin and Vodka is how I got interested in writing for them, too. But I did keep them with the Black Org and carrying out missions, at least until I developed that Snow White Queen timeline where they and Sherry escape to make a new life elsewhere. With Ecks and Wye's situation, were they to survive their episode, they would very likely have to run for their lives to avoid being killed as traitors to the extremist organization. Which is how I approached that. I wouldn't exactly say they're going straight now, but they are trying to avoid getting in trouble with the law.

The Riddler is in the same situation. I didn't really want to have him completely straight, and he's certainly an unconventional hero in that he's most interested in matching wits with his opponents rather than bringing crooks to justice, but if they're so heinous that even The Riddler is upset by them, then he will go after them for the purpose of bringing them to justice. Of course, since he probably always will be at least a little twisted, his justice would include making them play through one of his complex, booby-trapped mazes. But they would survive; I actually question whether any of the traps set by The Batman's Riddler would kill or if it was only a tease. (Yes, maybe even the bombs were set up in a way that wouldn't have killed Gorman. Possibly. I debate over that because The Riddler wanted Gorman to really experience failure, so maybe he would want to keep Gorman alive to experience it for a good, long while. On the other hand, maybe he wanted Gorman's last thoughts of be of his failure and then the bombs would kill. I just don't know. But anyway....) He seems like the type who might tease, especially considering his first appearance on the show. Batman: The Animated Series' Riddler sets traps to kill, but he is a completely different character.

And then there's Snakes, oh boy. With him, though, he really is trying to go straight. But he's selfish and cowardly and in most verses, is struggling to learn about friendship. I have so much fun developing him everywhere.

I dunno; thinking on things in these lights, I definitely still do a lot with criminal-type characters (even though sometimes I just want more true-blue heroes, like the ACME characters). And even though, yes, I do like reforming them when possible, I always try to keep their personalities intact, especially if they're wild cards. I think the reason why I'm more burned-out on Detective Conan stuff is Gin's specific personality, the absolute twisted mess of the Gin/Sherry pairing, and the fact of not particularly being into writing about enemy assassins at work in their organization. Well, and the fact that I was never comfortable with the series' basic premise. It took me ages to feel like trying it at all, and after playing in the waters for a while, I don't think I'll go back. That doesn't mean I won't, though. I sometimes end up doing a lot of things I hadn't planned on doing again.

Like writing Carmen fics, heh. But I do love the semi-fictional Rockapella and I just couldn't stay away. Once Crystal's enthusiasm started us both on a second renaissance, it didn't take long and we both started writing fics again. And we haven't shied away from hurt/comfort, either, heh. And not just with the Dying Informant character, either. However, I do think the stories are a little more mild this time around, anyway, even mine.

Sometimes it's fun writing about more true-blue hero characters rather than antiheroes/unconventional heroes. They aren't just blandly good guys; they have a lot of personality and they struggle with things too. Not all deep things have to involve dark and twisted characters and situations.

I guess it all depends on my mood. But even though I did kind of like looking at that old Detective Conan fic, and feel a little sad it will probably never be finished, I still doubt that it ever will be.

That said, my romantic side does still like the idea of the "After Point C" stories where Gin/Sherry are a thing. And I still love the things that others made for me regarding the pairing.

I ended up falling so hard in love with using the Twilight icon that I decided that perhaps after ten-ish years, it was time to alter the default userpic. On the one hand, I hesitated to, because I love the Faye Valentine icon and it's absolutely gorgeous. On the other, I no longer feel like I need to hide behind Faye's identity and of course, I haven't felt like I needed to for some time; the original reason I adopted her name as an alias was because I was trying to hide from certain people I didn't care to talk to and I didn't think I would ever be discovered using the name of a character as unlike me as Faye is. Over time it stuck, even after I didn't need to hide anymore. I'll probably leave my email accounts set to Faye's name, but for this journal right now, I kind of feel like I want to be me, and Twilight Sparkle is a much better representation of who I am.

Crystal had a very good idea that I could use the Faye icon on FF.net. However, trying that had led to my discovery that I can't use square icons there anymore (if I ever could at all). So part of the picture is cut off. Ugh. I will probably have to make a specific icon for FF.net that conforms to the size they want. Meanwhile, I still want to use the Faye icon somewhere, so I will probably either leave it here for now (just not as the default) or else use it on Dreamwidth (where I think I already have it uploaded). I always wanted the Dreamwidth journal to be a separate place from here, but then I ended up getting freaked out worrying Livejournal might crash and I should have stuff backed up, so a little over a year ago I copied all my entries at that time to Dreamwidth. I'm torn between wishing I hadn't done that and being glad that stuff is backed up somewhere. Maybe I'll have to create a second Dreamwidth to be the separate thing I wanted. I remember I started out posting lots of fun Perry Mason-related content there.

I had some strange and lovely dreams. One was a role-play type dream where I was "playing" Jim West, and I and Arte were investigating a weird house. It seemed to be haunted, and we went into the basement and found it was being used as a garbage dump. Lovely. Then some bad guy was there and we got into a shootout with him. I believe the house was fairly modern (there were soda cans everywhere in the basement), so the setting must have been in my time-travel verse, where Jim and Arte can come visit the present-day when they want to. Maybe I'll write it up into a story.

Then I had a dream that culminated in Simon Oakland meeting my dad and being told about me and agreeing to come meet me! We shared a hug and he agreed to talk with me over lunch. It was awesommmme. And in the dream, it felt so real. That was definitely one I didn't like having to emerge from. In the dream, he wasn't dead and it was all okay. He looked about like he did in the 1970s. And from articles Crystal and I have found, he was such a humble and down-to-earth person that I totally believe he would have been happy to share lunch with a fan.

It continues to exasperate me that there are only 15 icon slots. I wanted to try using a Simon Templar icon for a while, but I couldn't decide how to get it in.

Finally I decided to do the unthinkable: delete this Alister icon. That lasted for about five minutes. I wasn't happy at all and put it back. I've used it since ... I'm not sure when, but I suppose since 2004 or 2005, maybe. It was my default before I fell in love with Aubrie's Faye Valentine icon. And I've stubbornly hung onto it ever since. I don't use it a whole lot anymore, but apparently I still want it here pretty badly.

Finally I decided that since I have three H.M. icons, and two featuring Coley, I would try removing the one of Coley by himself and keep the one of him and Lafe together. I'm not entirely happy with that, either, but I really did want to try using a Simon Templar icon for a while, and at the moment I'm a lot more satisfied than I was when I tried removing the Alister icon.

So I've been talking to someone about the Black Org. I'd already been thinking of them a bit because Ginger and Lou remind me of Gin and Vodka in a few little ways. And talking to this person renewed my interest in those characters and I went searching for stuff on Tumblr. I couldn't find much in the way of fanart, even though I'd heard there was supposed to be a lot on there. Maybe I'm using the wrong search terms.

I did find an amusing and brain-breaking "Ask Gin & Vodka" Tumblr. I like the person's headcanon about them living together and dealing with domestic problems, but the person also engages in various antics that I prefer not to have anything to do with, like humans turning into animals and M-preg. Bleh. I had a lot of fun reading the characters' answers to assorted submitted questions, though. And I love the sketches the person makes of them.

I also went and looked through all my icons in the Scrapbook here. I think I lost most of my graphics upon switching computers, except for ones I sent to other people (which may have been most of them) and all of my icons, which I uploaded here. I got a big laugh going through the Gin and Vodka ones. I'd forgotten some of the cracky things I came up with.

Now I kind of want to watch the Countdown to Heaven movie again. Gin and Vodka had some good interaction in that. I have a very old Hong Kong release of the Japanese language version, with bad English subs. I always meant to buy the official English version when they finally released it, but I never had the money at the right time.

I am so far behind on any Detective Conan stuff. I still don't have any interest in really returning to the fandom, but if there's any good scenes of Gin and Vodka interacting in the semi-recent episodes, I would be interested in seeing that.

There are so many wonderful men on Perry Mason. While I was fiddling around looking through Dead Ringer pictures to make a Steve icon, I saw so many adorable shots of Hamilton that I wanted to stop and icon too. Which makes me wish again that we were allowed more than 15 icons for free. Or to wish that Insanejournal, which gives you 100 free, was a more active place.

I've been teetering back and forth between fangirling Steve here, Andy and Amory, and Hamilton for the past couple of weeks. And by extension, their actors. And let's not forget William Boyett. (I just bought the trading card they made of his Star Trek character with the fedora. And we're on season 4 of Highway Patrol again, so it's William B. every night/morning! YES!) It's all rather confusing and overwhelming. I'm a bundle of squeeing, adoring nerves.

Wednesday I was talking to Dad about Richard Anderson and he told me he thinks Richard is the guy who leads the crowd in singing the drinking song in the movie The Student Prince. That amuses me to no end. I didn't even remember Richard sang. I already knew he was in the movie, so now I wanna see it again all the more. I keep picturing Steve singing that song and then cracking up at the thought.

And I've started my Wild Wild West story that's a follow-up to Richard's episode. It's based around my theory that his character had an evil double, because otherwise some things just don't add up. I'm a lot better with writing for Jim and Arte than I was before. I was delving more into their thoughts and personalities and I felt very comfortable with it. It's a very satisfying feeling.

Wednesday I also saw a new Superman movie at Wal-Mart. And they brought George Newbern back! I was so excited I exclaimed right in the store. Seriously, I thought they'd moved on to other actors. It seems like they never keep one for long. And I thought Tim Daly was the fan-favorite Superman voice. But on these recent direct-to-video movies they've been making, it seems like they alternate between using Tim's voice, George's, and one or two various other actors. I wish they had used George for the Doomsday one.

I've gotta get me all the George ones.

So many men, so little time.

These are mostly for my own amusement, as can be clearly seen by the number of icons featuring Hamilton. But I thought I'd put them up anyway. I made some icons specifically for possibly interested others, such as the Perry/Della ones for the pairing's active shippers. And The Twice-Told Twist is too fun to take pictures from, since it's the only color episode.


( Park Avenue Beat )

You can be sure these won't be the last, but I thought I'd go ahead and post them, since they're quite a huge batch as it is. Feel free to take any, but I'd like credit.

http://westsidestory.livejournal.com/73023.html If anyone wants to look. There will probably be more later.

I've had a fic idea that would go a little more into Schrank's backstory and some of the kids he had tried to mentor. He would end up having to deal with some of them in the present. I'm tinkering with the idea in a role-play, and it looks like I might end up using a combination of an idea of mine and Crystal's where someone is out to get him. In the fic, it would be one of those kids, in his twenties now and bitter over some imagined grievance he believed Schrank was responsible for. I scrawled down a bunch of notes and musings for the story and I have a good idea of how a lot of it goes.

Now I'm wondering whether I should combine this idea with one where Schrank is contacted by a hate group (and is disgusted when they want him to join them) or whether the two fics should be separate. One of the things this hateful kid is doing is spreading rumors that Schrank is racist, and since there already were rumors like that, he only makes it worse. So the hate group could contact him as a result of that. That would probably make that part be just one scene, though, instead of a full-length story. But I don't know how a full-length story with the idea would work, since from a Route 66 episode it looks like it's the FBI that handles hate groups. Maybe if some delinquent kids from his beat got involved, however, Schrank would be involved with trying to bring the group down.

... But I'm kind of liking the idea of the hate group contacting him because of what this guy has been saying instead of any other reason (as it would be if the hate group idea was a full-length fic). That would really make Schrank furious and add more tension to the story.

And I finished the multi-part fic yesterday. I think. It really did turn into a vignette series.

On Monday morning a plunnie hit me in the head for a short fic where Schrank and Maria are conversing post-movie. I wrote the first draft within less than three hours. After giving some time to smooth out the wrinkles, I finally picked a title I liked and got it up.

I know there are at least a couple of people on my Friends List who like the production, so if they're interested in reading, it's http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7061895/1/

I don't really expect any interest to come from among people roaming the FF.net category itself, although I wondered if maybe Maria being in this one would make a difference.

I think the category needs a character filter. It's popular enough.

I decided I should get an icon for the category on my fic journal. And, since I don't like to use the same icon across two journals, I decided to make one. The only problem is, I like it so much I kind of want to use it on this one now, where it would get more use.

I advanced a bit on chapter 3 of the Kolchak amnesia fic, too. Hopefully now that this ficlet is up, I can devote more concentration to the Kolchak one. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to do the climax in it, but I am really anxious to get to a scene where Kolchak and Tony encounter each other in the grocery store. It's been one of the most distinctive images for the fic since the idea first appeared. I've been writing a lot of scenes out of order, so I might do the same for this one. Chapter 3 opens at a point where I find it difficult to focus for very long because I'm more interested in other scenes. Hence, that's probably one of the reasons why I got so distracted by the West Side Story ideas.

I am absolutely loving my InsaneJournal backup. In between stories, I'm posting a few musings here and there. It really feels like a professional blog, even though of course it's not. But I think weaning myself off of emoticons has really improved my non-fiction writing and made me more proud of myself. The InsaneJournal feels more ... grown-up, somehow.

Since the fics I plan to post are all Monkees fics, I'm using my Kolchak icons for most of the musing posts. Of course, if websites keep breaking, I may decide I need backups of everything. I couldn't get into FF.net tonight, either. Although the site was working; I just couldn't log in.

Now if I just knew where to go to find a nice nest of Kolchak fans....

The last couple of days I've been toying with an interesting plunnie. I wonder what would happen if Carl Kolchak ended up matching wits with Yami Marik. It's a disaster waiting to happen, of course, but it certainly has the potential to be very interesting. I think mainly what intrigues me about the idea is the thought of them having a verbal confrontation. Most of the things Kolchak tries to stop don't talk to him, even when he talks to them. In the episodes I've seen, he was only able to talk with the witch during the climatic battle.

Yami Marik would probably thrust them into a Shadow Game, too. I don't know whether there would be Duel Monster cards or something else, though. I'd be leaning more towards something else; I don't want to write out a duel and I doubt Carl would know how to play.

Now I just need to figure out whether Kolchak would go to Domino City investigating something or whether Yami Marik would be in Chicago. I think I'm leaning more towards Yami Marik being in Chicago, maybe seeking some destructive artifact in a museum.

And I actually would have a bit of an audience for a fic; I've found a few other people who are familiar with both shows. But one thing I don't like is having to put it in the crossover section of FF.net. That leaves it available to a much narrower audience.

I might actually put it, and my other Kolchak fic, on dA. There seems to be a nice-sized following there. I was surprised.

And I've had the same default userpic on my fic journal since I opened it in late 2007. I really like the picture, Sephiroth standing in the sun, but it doesn't have anything to do with writing. I've often thought the default should be either writing or reading.

The other day I took three Kolchak icons from dangelos_song. Two I have here; the third I decided to put on the fic journal as the default, as it's Kolchak at his typewriter. It seems strange to have a different default there. But it's such a pretty icon and it works well as the default for a fic journal.