Starfire and Nightshade

Starfire . . . she is my favorite character on Teen Titans, which has just recently started to air on the WB. I don't know exactly what is it about her I like, but last Saturday's episode, where her sister Blackfire dropped in, really clinched it for me that Starfire is my fave. I can't imagine the pain she must have gone through . . . to have her sister basically take over everything and rule everywhere where she had tried so hard to fit in. Then to find out that Blackfire had been just using her all that time and was wicked enough to not care if Starfire took her place in prison . . . wow. What a horrible blow. I just can't imagine what she must have felt. She must have thought, must have hoped, that Blackfire really cared about her, even though she was kinda selfish and pushy. And we know that Starfire still loved her sister, even after all that. But she had the courage to do what she knew was right, even though it was going to be extremely hard. She fought against and distracted Blackfire long enough so that the police could come up and arrest her. As Blackfire was being carted off to jail, she yelled about getting revenge someday.

I don't know whether Blackfire ever cared about Starfire at any time in her life, or whether her little sister was always just the perfect patsy. I do know that Starfire said that Blackfire was always rescuing her, and she must have looked up to her older sister. In the episode's epilogue, she wasn't angry at Blackfire, only sad and hurt. She can't stop loving Blackfire, even after such a betrayal, because of the sisterly bond they do share, whether Blackfire realizes it or not.

I hope that Starfire isn't one of those poor characters like Jar Jar Binks or Crazy Ed, whom many people despise. Starfire may be rather naive and gullible, but she's also so very sweet, kind, selfless, and loving. And she's obviously a lot stronger than others give her credit for. I think the only one who really can understand her is Robin. I'm hoping that a deep friendship can develop between those two. They're very good for each other. Another thing from Saturday's episode was that you could just feel the chemistry between them when they talked.

Maybe I like Starfire because I see some of myself in her. Heaven knows I'm too trusting and gullible, but on the other hand, I hope that I am forgiving and kind. And she's always looking for somewhere to belong. Many a time I feel as though I am as well. Sometimes it seems that I don't really belong anywhere except in my Internet world, where I can unleash my true self and know that I'm not alone. I can be just as nutty and as much into my hurt/comfort obsession as I want to be, and I can always find others on the Internet who feel as I do.

Nightshade is a character I created myself. She is a mostly black cat and most likely what I would call my "fursona." Those are furry characters made to represent oneself. Nightshade is me as I wish I could be. She's a tough fighter, brave and fearless, and she doesn't let anyone walk on her. EVER. Lately I've tried to be more that way myself. I won't stand for anyone telling me how I can and can't write. I choose my own way of writing and no one can make me change it. I'm always encouraging my friends to do exactly as they please and not try to please everyone else. As long as you please yourself and God, that's all that matters.

That's not to say that I don't like to please others, though. I have tried desperately to incorporate some elements into my stories that I know some of my friends will really like. For instance, lately I've tried to pay attention to Mokuba and get him into some predicaments because I know that my friend who's nuts about Mokuba will really be happy ^__^ And I try to give little hints at certain couplings, though I refuse to do any actual romance stuff (unless the fic is a special present for someone, like Ninetales). It makes me happy to put little things in my stories that will make others happy ^^

But there are some things I refuse to change. I won't use the Japanese names because I'm used to the American ones and I like them; likewise, I won't put them in Japan because that's not what I'm used to. I'm not detracting from the plot by having them in America. A show like Rurouni Kenshin *has* to be in Japan for plot purposes, but YuGiOh doesn't.

Hmm. . . . So I'm a bit of Starfire, a bit of Nightshade, a bit of Seto Kaiba. . . . Yes, Seto Kaiba. Neither one of us likes to spill our guts out. Those who know me know that I am a VERY secretive person and I absolutely HATE saying what's in my heart most of the time @@ A journal is the only place where I'd put these thoughts down. And even at that, I'm not saying all that much. Many of my deepest thoughts I will never reveal to anyone except God. And I'm perfectly happy with that.

Fragile

I wanted to say I was feeling dark, but that wasn't one of the options XD

I was reading over this short story I just posted today. I titled it "Fragile" and included the song from Sting. Most of the fic is a dream Ishizu is having, but the readers aren't told that it is a dream until it's over. In dreams I am "no holds barred." Anything goes, I thought, and therefore, the dream part was extremely dark. But even then I found that it really isn't just anything goes. When it came time for the dream's end, I couldn't have Marik die. I couldn't! ;__; I was seriously almost in tears writing the thing. And instead of having Marik die, I simply ended the dream with Ishizu knowing he was going to. Even though Marik is alive and well in the real world, I simply could not bring myself to have him die even in a dream. Rishid did seem to die "offscreen," but it just seemed so much worse to have Marik die right in front of Ishizu's eyes. And actually, I never did actually say Rishid was dead. Marik could have been hallucinating. But anyway . . . that's all too much speculation for just a dream sequence. Ishizu woke up, found both her brothers alive and well, and then it turned into a bit of a Thanksgiving fic ^o^ Angst first, then much FLUFF!! ^____^