AURGH!

Guys, why does it seem like I'm the only one who ever has these kinds of problems? Am I really that unlucky?

Certain video sites that take up too much memory are causing every other video site to mess up when I try going to them later. The only way I've been able to correct anything at all is System Restore. And even though it helps, it still doesn't fully get things back the way they used to be. This only started about a month ago.

I only have what seems to be a bare-bones virus scan here. (Although I have a decent firewall.) It says it doesn't find anything, but I don't know if it's thorough enough to help much. I figure on the one hand I should download a free anti-virus like Avast! and do a thorough scan. But they take up so much memory (thoughts of the full MacAfee still give me nightmares) that I'm scared to. Maybe it will find something, maybe it won't, and maybe it will take up so much memory in and of itself that I still won't be able to get anything to work.

I have a registry cleaner, and even though it's removed a lot of junk, that doesn't help this video problem at all.

And I ran into a bunch of holes when I tried writing that fic with Hamilton and Leon. It was largely a problem that started when I wrote The Broken Ties and didn't take any steps to mend it. With Leon being a very minor player in that story, I didn't really write anything with Hamilton trying to get Leon to remember the truth (even though he probably did try). At the end, Hamilton is so befuddled by what happened and why that he only tells Leon his desperate "group hypnosis" theory and doesn't address the possibility of black magic. He decides he'll tell Leon later, if Leon continues to be troubled.

Well, so all of that is the basis for the problem in this oneshot fic where someone tried to make a rift between them. The dilemma is me wondering if Hamilton would really not tell Leon the supernatural theories, no matter how fantastic they sound. I've written that Leon has been Hamilton's secretary for a long time. Hamilton likely knows him very well. And he told the other main players about the supernatural concepts, regardless of whether he personally can believe them. For him to not tell Leon (even though Leon's part in the story is small) seems to be a blight against Leon and could reflect badly on Hamilton, even though it's my fault in the end. I just wasn't thinking clearly enough about the consequences of Hamilton not telling Leon. And heaven knows that when I'm trying to show what a good person Hamilton is, the last thing I want to do is make a bad blunder. There's a difference between that and keeping him human with both good and ill qualities. What's more, if Hamilton and Leon have worked together so long, I don't like the thought of Leon falling so hard for the enemy's attempted lies.

I had an early concept of Leon being so idolizing of Hamilton that Hamilton saying he just wasn't sure if Leon would believe him about the supernatural weirdness was the final straw and completely devastated him. But I decided to scrap that and tone down Leon's feelings. I think to some extent he may idolize Hamilton, judging from the dialogue I've given him, but I want him to be a mature adult, not some young kid. And even though I've left it that he did feel hurt at Hamilton's admission, it didn't bother him quite as deeply as in that first draft.

Well, so in the end I decided I'd made a terrible error by thinking the story would work. I immediately abandoned the project, but the first scene was good and I couldn't bear to do nothing with it. I rewrote some of the dialogue, including some of the above stuff with Leon and Hamilton's feelings and actions, and added some stuff to make it fit a different 31_days prompt. Out of nowhere, Leon ended up dying from the gunshot wound he takes, too. That was actually not supposed to happen. Of course, a follow-up has followed and Leon will recover.

I don't know or even really think that either of those things will be part of my "official" headcanon of stories. They're mostly experimental in the end, trying to find Leon's voice and how he and Hamilton interact.

What is official is in my new mystery The Denying Detective. Leon has been regaled to an important supporting role in that fic and I will be trying to develop him there. Mentioned in their first scene together is Hamilton musing that he did tell Leon the truth of the supernatural theories before too much time had passed (and also that he did try more than once to get Leon to remember, when everyone forgot). Leon seems alright with things.

Leon I'm picturing as a fellow in his thirties, a mature adult, quiet, with dark hair that could fall in his eyes like Andy's can if uncombed, and glasses. I'm studying people who pop up in my shows now, trying to find one that looks like how I'm thinking Leon looks.

And GAH I forgot to write a blog post and I have to run and what if I don't get to it today and people are waiting?!

... There goes my Twilight Sparkle side, freaking out.

I am such a geek, though. I have some money I've collected for a certain purchase, but I'm hoping I can reduce the cost of said purchase, which would leave me with more than half left over. I could easily buy the complete set of Mike Hammer episodes. Amazon has them at an amazing price right now. I got the thing right into my cart and into the checkout, but I didn't complete that final page. That happens sometimes, when I'm in a heavy state of indecision. I kept feeling like I needed to wait, that I wasn't sure if I wanted to get that right now.

And now I seem to have discovered what I want more: a Twilight Sparkle plush that talks, reads, and sings (in what sounds like the voice actress's voice). I want a plush Pony, a kid's toy, instead of a detective show. But gah, I can't help myself. Twilight is still my favorite, and it just sounds so fun to have her read and sing to me.

They seem to only be available at Target, and depending on which Target, varying prices. But all cheaper than Amazon. On Monday I'll check a couple of them out and see for sure whether I want to buy it. But I've seen YouTube videos and am just tickled. I have that "This is what I want" determined feeling, and I'm sorry to say, I didn't have that about the DVD set. I still want that too, though. It just doesn't seem that it's my first priority.