Squee!

[ladybug_archive]

I was musing with Kaze about my inability to go anywhere with the follow-up to Shine last night, and I determined maybe the opening was just wrong. So I rewrote it, and then the rest of the chapter just flowed. X3 It's up, and I've started chapter two.

The theme for the fic is stars, so I'm looking for all the song titles/lyrics relating to stars I can find, as possible chapter titles. And duh, I rediscovered Evanescence's Your Star! It really sounds like the image song for this fic.


I can't see your star
I can't see your star
though I patiently waited, bedside, for the death of today
I can't see your star
the mechanical lights of Lisbon frightened it away

and I'm alone now
me and all I stood for
we're wandering now
all in parts in pieces, swim lonely
find your own way out

I can't see your star
I can't see your star
how can the darkness feel so wrong?

and I'm alone now
me and all I stood for
we're wandering now
all in parts in pieces, swim lonely
find your own way out

So far away
its growing colder without your love
why can't you feel me calling your name?
can't break the silence
its breaking me

all my fears turn to rage

and I'm alone now me
and all I stood for
we're wandering now
all in parts and pieces, swim lonely
find your own way out


While rediscovering that, I happened to look at the lyrics for The Only One on the previous page in the lyrics booklet. Genesis song. X3 Yes. **never had a clear image before of what the song reminded her of.**


When they all come crashing down- midflight
you know you're not the only one
when they're so alone they find a back door out of life
you know you're not the only one

We're all grieving
lost and bleeding

All our lives
we've been waiting
for someone to call our leader
all your lies
I'm not believing
heaven shine a light down on me

So afraid to open your eyes- hypnotized
you know you're not the only one
never understood this life
and you're right I don't deserve but you know I'm not the only one

We're all grieving
lost and bleeding

All our lives
we've been waiting
for someone to call our leader
all your lies
I'm not believing
heaven shine a light down on me

Don't look down
don't look into the eyes of the world beneath you
don't look down, you'll fall down,
you'll become their sacrifice
right or wrong
can't hold onto the fear that I'm lost without you
if I can't feel, I'm not mine,
I'm not real

All our lives
we've been waiting
for someone to call our leader
all your lies
I'm not believing
heaven shine a light down on me


While I'm thinking of it, have I mentioned that Hand of Sorrow now totally makes me think of Genesis, Seph, and maybe Angeal? All the SOLDIERs who wanted to get out/did get out, and the sorrows and tragedies that resulted.


The child without a name grew up to be the hand
To watch you, to shield you, or kill on demand
The choice he'd made he could not comprehend
His blood a grim secret they had to command

He's torn between his honor and the true love of his life
He prayed for both but was denied

So many dreams were broken and so much was sacrificed
Was it worth the ones we loved and had to leave behind
So many years have past, who are the noble and the wise?
Will all our sins be justified?

The curse of his powers tormented his life
Obeying the crown was a sinister price
His soul was tortured by love and by pain
He surely would flee, but the oath made him stay

He's torn between his honor and the true love of his life
He prayed for both but was denied

So many dreams were broken and so much was sacrificed
Was it worth the ones we loved and had to leave behind
So many years have past, who are the noble and the wise?
Will all our sins be justified?

Please forgive me for the sorrow
For leaving you in fear
For the dreams we had to silence
That's all there'll ever be
Still I'll be the hand that serves you
Though you'll not see that it is me

So many dreams were broken and so much was sacrificed
Was it worth the ones we loved and had to leave behind
So many years have past, who are the noble and the wise?
Will all our sins be justified?


I've found a bunch of cute pics on DeviantArt the last couple of days, and then Kaze has sent others. X3 So I'm on a squee high tonight. Only problem there is, I can't decide whether to keep writing the current angst, start a blurb of other angst, or do some flat-out fluff.

And after the awesome RP Lisa and I did, I have decided the mind-control thing must be a fic. And the events of the previous entry's blurb must be done like they were in the RP, with Angeal being the one to find Genesis. ;__;

And while I actually REMEMBER, for Pete's sake, here! X3 http://community.livejournal.com/_crisiscore_/102577.html Have a Kenichi interview!

Comments

[cskazaam.livejournal.com]

Aww, those lyrics for Your Star are so sad! And it sounds so much like Seph in the fic. I think it would fit perfectly as the image song!^^

Hmm... The Only One does seem to sound like Genesis, though since I've been keeping myself in the dark about him for the most part, I probably don't understand them as well as I could. XD

And the Hand of Sorrow definitely fits Genesis, Seph, and Angeal! That one really sounds so sad. Makes you wish there was some way to just prevent all the awful things from happening.

Do you mind if I ask for those songs?^^ I thought for sure you had sent the Hand of Sorrow before, but I can't seem to find it. XD

Yay for cute pics!^^ There's never enough. I've got some more I can dig out, too.^^

XD. So many wonderful choices! Maybe you could stick the angst and fluff in the same story? But then that doesn't solve the problem of whether to stick with the current angst or not... XD

Yay! I'm glad you've decided to write the mind-control fic.^^ And I'm looking forward to seeing how the scene with Angeal and Genesis turns out, but it's gonna be so heartbreaking! **sniff**

**reads interview** Wow, that's really interesting! He says that Zack's cheerful and optimistic, and yet not. I wish he could have elaborated on that some more.

And he says to go out and play CC!^^ We can hardly refuse if Zack's voice actor himself says so! XD

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

I hate when songs disappear from where they should be. XD Sure!

Sticking with the current angst means the fluff not coming for a while. I'm thinking, though, that Seph is going to have to resolve to overcome his hatred before he finds Zack alive. That would be more powerful and meaningful than if he was only able to do so after finding out. ^^ Of course, resolving to do so wouldn't mean that there would not still be struggles with it. He'll probably keep fighting it throughout the fic.

**nodnod.** The scene is so saaad in the RP. ;__; Seph doesn't know yet, because they're worried it would be bad for him to have that stress while trying to recover from the drug.

I'm guessing that he probably means Zack is a lot deeper than some of the fans used to portray him as being. XD Like all that Reno-ish stuff.

W00t! Yay for playing CC! X3

[cskazaam.livejournal.com]

Ooh, I like that idea! It would definitely be more powerful. Seph would probably have to start dealing with his grief over Zack's death in order to do that, too. Oh, that's going to be so difficult! Poor Seph!

Oh yeah, I didn't realize that. It would definitely put an extra burden on Seph!

Oh, you mean how Reno just seems to goof off and there doesn't seem to be much more to him? XD

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

**nodnod.** I'm not sure what Seph would do in order to try to start dealing with it. Maybe even go out and look at the stars, and remember the good times they had.

Yeah, pretty much. XD; It always annoys me when Zack is portrayed like that. He's a dorky goof, sure, but I think that's at least partially a facade hiding a much deeper person. Reno may be deeper than he's portrayed too (I hope so), but there's just something so ... different about his goofiness from Zack's.

[cskazaam.livejournal.com]

**nods** Yeah, that would be a good start, and it would fit really well with the theme.^^ Maybe he'd be able to get away from all the distractions and responsibility of Wutai for a short while to be someplace peaceful. He could finally devote time to thinking about Zack and maybe how Zack wouldn't want him to be consumed by hatred.

**nods** Right. Zack definitely seems deeper than that, and I think a lot of that is shown in CC. It's kind of sad when he's just portrayed as a goof-off because so much of his character is missed. It can be amusing, but it definitely gets old when you realize the writer isn't going to develop him any more than that.

And, yeah, Reno's really seems different, but I'm sure he's definitely deeper, too! After all, in the game there were times when the Turks opted not to fight. I think their excuse was that they were off-duty, but it really left the impression that they knew it was the right thing to do. And in AC they helped to rescue the kids. Besides, I doubt Rufus would keep anyone around who was an idiot. XD

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

**nodnod.** That will be such a bittersweet scene. ;__;

I think the chapter ideas for the next chapters will be:

I Watch the Stars Go Out
I Can't See Your Star
Catch a Falling Star

The plan for a while has been to bring in Zack in chapter 5, if I can resist that long! XD; Chapter 3 is the attack, maybe all the way through, and if so, I'm not sure what Chapter 4 will be if it doesn't include Seph going to those people. Part of 4 would probably be Seph's introspection, though it seems that should be at a chapter's end instead of at the beginning. And it would probably look too cluttered at the end of chapter 3.

Yeah, CC definitely has been a paradise when it comes to Zack's personality. X3 I usually don't find it amusing at all when he sounds like Reno, but maybe that's because I figure if the author is going to write him that way at all, then they're really not going to do anything more with him.

That's true. LOL. Reno's definitely done some cool things, even though he can be so out there sometimes. Nomura said that Reno didn't really especially want to restore Shinra Corp in AC; he just talked about it to Cloud because he thought it sounded cool, or something like that. And considering all that Shinra did, and the stuff Reno did when working with them, it made me headdesk. XD

[cskazaam.livejournal.com]

Ooh, I like those title ideas!^^

Hmm... Maybe Chapter 4 could also include inspecting the wreckage at the palace? Seph could find some evidence there, and he could take it to the emperor and the advisors (who, by this time, may have gone to their place in the mountains) and they'd recommend he see the people taking care of Zack. And if the attack and inspection took long enough, it could be night by that time, so you could fit in Seph's introspection at the end of the chapter.

**nods** Yeah, that's usually the way it is, unfortunately. And it's the worst when they make Zack sound like a complete idiot! I can't stand that at all... A lot of the stuff they intend to be funny, just isn't.

LOL. Well, I'd say that was definitely a case of bad judgement for Reno. I guess he sometimes ends up speaking before he thinks. XD

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah! Dang, I forgot about the inspection of the wreckage. XD; That should all be able to encompass a full chapter. X3

**nodnod.** Totally!

LOL. Apparently so!

[wngdngl.livejournal.com]

Ooh, good songs there. Someone should make a CC fan song listing. One song I'm reminded of is "How to Save a Life".

And yay for RP's! The last one gave me chills. I wonder though, how do you do an RP when there's only really one character present?

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

Oh yeah. **nodnod.** That song is definitely Zack thinking about Angeal's betrayal and Seph losing his mind. ;__;

Like a scenario of a character finding another character wounded? XD We get them to other characters/get other characters to them as soon as possible. Meanwhile, one person plays the awake character and the other describes the wounded one and if he's carrying anything important/sometimes muses on what the awake character may be thinking.

[amanechan.livejournal.com]

Oooh, those songs fit really well, especially Hand of Sorrow. I still love Welcome to the Black Parade for SOLDIER. XP Though I guess overall that one fits Zack better than the others. XD

...I was kinda uncertain how to do Angeal at first in the RP last night, tbh. XD I mean, he acts generally pretty stoic, but most of the time when he's upset he just seems really angry. XD; But I think it turned out well in the end. The stuff between Angeal and Zack was amazing. o.o

*pets the interview* Now I have this mental image of Kenichi going, "I want YOU to play Crisis Core!"

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

**pets Welcome to the Black Parade.** I still really like the wallpaper where you used lyrics to fit all the different characters. X3

**nodnod.** The RP was awesome! It must become a fic. X3

LOL! I should do a poster of Zack in that pose.