... Whyyyy?
Jul. 19th, 2010 12:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladybug_archiveI honestly am getting a little annoyed with myself that I can't seem to stop being fascinated with the thought of Autor/Ahiru as a pairing in the back of my mind. I never write or draw them as such; they're always close in a familial sense (as will be shown in a short blurb I'm attaching. I promise this one is not weird). And yet, even though I adore their friendship in my timeline (it's my preference over having them as a couple) and I love Fakir/Ahiru and want them to be together, I can't stop thinking of Autor/Ahiru romantically. A rather bizarre dream I had isn't helping, either.
I honestly feel like I'm blaspheming the fandom, but I don't know how to make my mind shut up.
Worse is that I'm afraid it may be at least partially because Autor is the one I crush on, and that I'm projecting my feelings for him in the thought of him and Ahiru as a pairing. **crawls in a hole.**
And more blasphemous thoughts: sometimes Fakir and Ahiru's arguments make me think of them as acting like quarreling siblings rather than being in a potentially romantic scenario. These thoughts don't really last long, but they do come.
Here, have a nice blurb that is fully in support of Fakir/Ahiru as a pairing and Autor & Ahiru as a close friendship.
There were some situations Autor never imagined he would find himself in. This was certainly one of them.
He stirred, his eyes opening halfway and blurrily focusing on the fire in front of him. How long had he been asleep? The last thing he remembered was sitting on the couch with Ahiru and . . .
Color started to spread over his cheeks. Ahiru was still there too. She was slumped at his side, her face burrowed against his shoulder. Her legs were up, lying across his lap.
How on earth had they fallen asleep in such an awkward position? He flamed red, slowly drawing his arm around her both to support her and to hopefully rouse it up. However long they had been there, it had been long enough for his limb to go numb.
The movement did not awaken Ahiru. She did not stir at all, but only continued to remain as she was, perpetrating the uncomfortable position.
He sighed, leaning back against the couch. If anyone were to see them like this, they would most likely get the wrong idea about the nature of their relationship. Not that anyone would actually come in here except Fakir, whom they had both been waiting for prior to dozing.
It was odd, he mused, that Fakir had always been alright with their friendship. To his knowledge, Fakir had never been jealous or concerned that something else would develop. And Autor had seen Fakir behave exactly that way in other situations, coming alert and growing tense when Ahiru expressed an innocent interest in another boy or shared conversations with one.
Did Fakir just have that much confidence in Autor’s integrity? Or did he think Autor was not the type of person who would ever fall in love with Ahiru?
He frowned. Maybe Fakir thought he would only fall for elegant, mature girls. Ahiru was certainly not elegant, not when she was not Princess Tutu. And she was naïve and sunny and cheerful, most unlike Rue’s world-weary, serious nature. When Ahiru lost her temper, she could really be quite immature.
But . . .
She was certainly more mature than a great deal of her classmates—and a great many other girls Autor had seen. She had witnessed much more than most of them ever would. And in spite of all of the sorrows she had seen and been involved in, she had never lost hope.
It was really not impossible that Autor could fall in love with her. She had a charm and a beauty uniquely her own, something that drew people to her even if they staunchly resisted.
But she would never fall in love with him. Her heart belonged to Fakir. There was no need for Fakir to be worried or jealous when she interacted with other boys. Autor had tried to tell him that, but he had only received a grunt in response.
Anyway, Autor thought, a trace of a smile on his lips, he himself loved her deeply in a platonic, familial way. He would not fall in love with someone he saw as a younger sister.
Maybe, even, that was what Fakir realized too.
I honestly feel like I'm blaspheming the fandom, but I don't know how to make my mind shut up.
And more blasphemous thoughts: sometimes Fakir and Ahiru's arguments make me think of them as acting like quarreling siblings rather than being in a potentially romantic scenario. These thoughts don't really last long, but they do come.
Here, have a nice blurb that is fully in support of Fakir/Ahiru as a pairing and Autor & Ahiru as a close friendship.
There were some situations Autor never imagined he would find himself in. This was certainly one of them.
He stirred, his eyes opening halfway and blurrily focusing on the fire in front of him. How long had he been asleep? The last thing he remembered was sitting on the couch with Ahiru and . . .
Color started to spread over his cheeks. Ahiru was still there too. She was slumped at his side, her face burrowed against his shoulder. Her legs were up, lying across his lap.
How on earth had they fallen asleep in such an awkward position? He flamed red, slowly drawing his arm around her both to support her and to hopefully rouse it up. However long they had been there, it had been long enough for his limb to go numb.
The movement did not awaken Ahiru. She did not stir at all, but only continued to remain as she was, perpetrating the uncomfortable position.
He sighed, leaning back against the couch. If anyone were to see them like this, they would most likely get the wrong idea about the nature of their relationship. Not that anyone would actually come in here except Fakir, whom they had both been waiting for prior to dozing.
It was odd, he mused, that Fakir had always been alright with their friendship. To his knowledge, Fakir had never been jealous or concerned that something else would develop. And Autor had seen Fakir behave exactly that way in other situations, coming alert and growing tense when Ahiru expressed an innocent interest in another boy or shared conversations with one.
Did Fakir just have that much confidence in Autor’s integrity? Or did he think Autor was not the type of person who would ever fall in love with Ahiru?
He frowned. Maybe Fakir thought he would only fall for elegant, mature girls. Ahiru was certainly not elegant, not when she was not Princess Tutu. And she was naïve and sunny and cheerful, most unlike Rue’s world-weary, serious nature. When Ahiru lost her temper, she could really be quite immature.
But . . .
She was certainly more mature than a great deal of her classmates—and a great many other girls Autor had seen. She had witnessed much more than most of them ever would. And in spite of all of the sorrows she had seen and been involved in, she had never lost hope.
It was really not impossible that Autor could fall in love with her. She had a charm and a beauty uniquely her own, something that drew people to her even if they staunchly resisted.
But she would never fall in love with him. Her heart belonged to Fakir. There was no need for Fakir to be worried or jealous when she interacted with other boys. Autor had tried to tell him that, but he had only received a grunt in response.
Anyway, Autor thought, a trace of a smile on his lips, he himself loved her deeply in a platonic, familial way. He would not fall in love with someone he saw as a younger sister.
Maybe, even, that was what Fakir realized too.
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no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 07:36 pm (UTC)I can also understand with wanting to pair Ahiru and Autor. And your reasoning because you have a crush on him sounds logical.
I should know- done it many times myself.I am also starting to see them a bit beyond a friendship means.
no subject
Date: 2010-07-20 03:10 am (UTC)It is an interesting idea, no matter how much I balk at it. XD; One thing I worry about is what the heck happened to Fakir. Because I think the only way Ahiru and Autor would get together is if Fakir was dead and they were grieving over him and one thing led to another over time....
Or if Ahiru and Fakir were the ones to have a familial relationship....no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 08:13 pm (UTC)Worse is that I'm afraid it may be at least partially because Autor is the one I crush on, and that I'm projecting my feelings for him in the thought of him and Ahiru as a pairing. **crawls in a hole.**Well, look on the bright side-- at least you're not thinking about self-insertion. XD; During the height of my crazy Seto fangirly days, I am guilty of that via a Mary Sue... **got any room in that hole of yours?** Those fics and pics will never see the light of day again. Ever.
And aww, it's a sweet blurb. ^^
no subject
Date: 2010-07-20 03:11 am (UTC)Thanks!
no subject
Date: 2010-07-19 08:39 pm (UTC)Go away Dhaos/Martel thoughts! Martel belongs with Yuan!You can't help but wonder about it, even if you support a different pairing. And it certainly doesn't help when one character is the "odd one out". Maybe it's because besides Rue, you can't see Autor ever conceivably falling in love with anyone else.I find it awesome and hilarious that in the Princess Tutu fandom, you'd get attacked for not supporting the canon pairings. LOL.
That's why I avoid writing for female characters, actually XD; It's too risky!LOLOLOL. Poor Autor. I can imagine what he says to Fakir when he arrives: "...>___>;" "What are you just staring at me for? She's pretty heavy for waterfowl, you know." It's so cute X3
Reposted because I got the poor girl's name wrong
Date: 2010-07-20 03:31 am (UTC)LOL. Actually, no one ever has. I'm just paranoid that I'll get jumped on someday.
LOL. Thanks!