Relatable characters.
May. 31st, 2015 09:08 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
ladybug_archiveI started pondering over the last couple of days why, when I write characters, it's usually the male characters that have aspects of my personality and not the females. Usually the females, whether they're good or bad, will be about as far removed from what I'm like as possible.
For one thing, it might simply be that the male characters I often gravitate towards tend to already have some aspect of my personality and the females don't, at least not much of the time (Pony characters excepted). LOL. However, there's also times where it isn't expressly part of their personality in canon, yet I slip it in when making a backstory if it makes sense (which is what I've done for Ecks, for one). So it might be more that if they're male, I can relate to them at least somewhat through their personality traits, yet they can be far enough removed from me that I don't feel uncomfortable. See, while I adore fictional hurt/comfort, I'm not comfortable at all with real-life hurt/comfort. That's just worrisome and agonizing. If I write a female character I can relate to into hurt/comfort situations, it might feel a little too much like I'm writing myself into it and hurt too much/be uncomfortable for me. With a guy, I wouldn't feel that way, since I am not a guy.
I've had the same sort of problem in the past with putting both genders of OCs of mine into hurt/comfort situations. Since I created them, it feels like it's hitting a little too close to home and I become uncomfortable, like they're a part of me being hurt. Sometimes that doesn't apply as much as other times; I know there have been some OCs that I did end up wanting to put into hurt/comfort situations and did so at least a few times. I haven't done much with OCs for a long time, except as standard supporting characters in various fics, so I can't say whether I'd feel the same or not. Note that this doesn't tend to apply to villainous OCs that get killed off in stories, at least not certain ones. I killed off the bad guy in Lead Me Through the Fire without batting an eye, for one. I guess I felt that he wasn't like me at all and I could eliminate him from the story without feeling like he was a part of myself.
When it comes to the canonical female characters that I do see reflections of myself in, like Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy, I'm pretty sure I'd feel uncomfortable writing them into hurt/comfort situations. But I wouldn't mind just writing about them in other plots, if I got some inspiration. While I like Twilight the best, I'm probably more like Fluttershy. And there's a bit of Rarity in there too, especially her love of cleanliness. Those three are my top favorites, and then I've started to love Applejack a lot too, for her practicality, seriousness, and love of family.
I think every writer has a particular formula for characters or storylines or both that they like using the best. My favorite formula for my buddy fics will almost always involve a character who is aloof and serious to some extent. That will pretty much always be the one I'm relating to most strongly. They may in addition have traits I wish I was better at, such as assertiveness or bluntness when called for. I may not relate to them extremely, depending on their personality as a whole. Ginger I don't relate to a whole lot, except through the aloof, serious part of his personality. And that's the same thing with Sephiroth, Gin, and other such characters. They're not really much like me overall, just in that one key element.
The other buddy can be any of a variety of personality types, although it's very rare that they're silly, a prankster, or quirky in a silly way, since I am not generally fond of those character types and do not usually gravitate towards any characters that are that way. I do like Micky of the fictional TV show Monkees a lot, and he's probably the one exception to that rule ... only the Micky I like best is from season 1, where he didn't act so random and could often be serious. Also, Zack from FF7 can be kind of silly, but nothing really extreme, even though that's how some fanon portrayals are. He's more cheery and happy than silly, but he sobers up a lot later, which is bittersweet but kind of cool, too.
I love to see a character emotionally/mentally grow up, maybe because of my own journey from being silly and random to more serious. The early entries of this journal make me cringe. But I sobered up quite a bit soon after I started it, due to a lot of painful things that were happening in my life right then. I emerged from that quite cynical, even hating myself for several years before that cleared up due to a, well, I don't want to sound preachy, but a combination trial and spiritual experience from God. I never mentioned those dark feelings anywhere, that I recall. I didn't want to talk about it, didn't know how, and I dealt with it completely privately. It was a Hellish emptiness that was always with me; even when I was genuinely happy about something or another, I could feel that emptiness of self-hatred inside of me and I honestly wondered how anyone could care about me or think that I was a good person when it seemed like over and over I was always inadvertently hurting someone or another or snapping at them. (The snapping is, unfortunately, another trait I canonically share with Ginger, as is the trait I gave him of him wondering how he could be cared about.) Sometimes I still go into moods where I hate myself for several hours or days (usually when my emotions are see-sawing). And I'm still pretty cynical overall. I wish I wouldn't go into the "I hate myself" moods and I'm thankful they don't last indefinitely anymore. But I would rather be cynical than silly and random.
Actually, in real-life I was always pretty serious, even as a child, despite times where Mom and I would start quoting some hilarious comedy movies and crack up about them. LOL. Dad always got annoyed saying that we were being too silly. Really, though, I was more serious than most of the kids in the neighborhood, and although I had some moments where I'd blossom and joke a little, I was usually the withdrawn, quiet member of the group when compared to everyone else. And while I was amused and laughed at some of the others' antics, I didn't always appreciate some of their silliness, if they made their silliness directly involve me and I didn't want to participate. Hence, the buddy characters I'm usually drawn to reflect that a lot and both/all members will probably be more serious than silly. That's not to say that they don't joke; Ginger and Lou, and Joe and Lew, have some wonderfully snarky exchanges in my fics. LOL. I enjoy banter, when it's shared and enjoyed between the participants.
I wonder sometimes if my penchant for serious characters and the earliest beginnings of my own seriousness is all because of my dad's influence, which is both ironic and amusing if so, since I always felt, and still feel, that he is too serious. But I know that parental influence can be really strong, even if one doesn't fully realize it's happening.
And of course, any time I start getting seriously interested in characters who are canonically bad guys, I will feel extremely guilty about it for a while, just as I did years ago. Several months ago, I posted more than once about that guilt regarding Rumpelstiltskin, and Ecks and Wye. I still really wonder how I ever wrote about Gin and Vodka with ease. I realize it was their interaction that intrigued me and that overcame all ordinary barriers I have in writing about assassins, but I still can hardly believe I did that. I do not at this time write about any characters who are currently working as assassins, even if that was their occupation in the past. (Ecks and Wye had to leave the spy business due to their canonical actions of betraying their organization and are currently private investigators in my verse.) Unless Lucius Bowen, The Fugitive's Pinto character, counts as a current assassin, but I haven't written about him for some time and I have him working for U.N.C.L.E. now, albeit I have never shown him on an assassination job and probably never would. No matter whether the assassin is working for the good guys or the bad guys, I'm not terribly comfortable writing about such exploits, even though I will admit that I feel more at ease if the character is working for the good guys.
For one thing, it might simply be that the male characters I often gravitate towards tend to already have some aspect of my personality and the females don't, at least not much of the time (Pony characters excepted). LOL. However, there's also times where it isn't expressly part of their personality in canon, yet I slip it in when making a backstory if it makes sense (which is what I've done for Ecks, for one). So it might be more that if they're male, I can relate to them at least somewhat through their personality traits, yet they can be far enough removed from me that I don't feel uncomfortable. See, while I adore fictional hurt/comfort, I'm not comfortable at all with real-life hurt/comfort. That's just worrisome and agonizing. If I write a female character I can relate to into hurt/comfort situations, it might feel a little too much like I'm writing myself into it and hurt too much/be uncomfortable for me. With a guy, I wouldn't feel that way, since I am not a guy.
I've had the same sort of problem in the past with putting both genders of OCs of mine into hurt/comfort situations. Since I created them, it feels like it's hitting a little too close to home and I become uncomfortable, like they're a part of me being hurt. Sometimes that doesn't apply as much as other times; I know there have been some OCs that I did end up wanting to put into hurt/comfort situations and did so at least a few times. I haven't done much with OCs for a long time, except as standard supporting characters in various fics, so I can't say whether I'd feel the same or not. Note that this doesn't tend to apply to villainous OCs that get killed off in stories, at least not certain ones. I killed off the bad guy in Lead Me Through the Fire without batting an eye, for one. I guess I felt that he wasn't like me at all and I could eliminate him from the story without feeling like he was a part of myself.
When it comes to the canonical female characters that I do see reflections of myself in, like Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy, I'm pretty sure I'd feel uncomfortable writing them into hurt/comfort situations. But I wouldn't mind just writing about them in other plots, if I got some inspiration. While I like Twilight the best, I'm probably more like Fluttershy. And there's a bit of Rarity in there too, especially her love of cleanliness. Those three are my top favorites, and then I've started to love Applejack a lot too, for her practicality, seriousness, and love of family.
I think every writer has a particular formula for characters or storylines or both that they like using the best. My favorite formula for my buddy fics will almost always involve a character who is aloof and serious to some extent. That will pretty much always be the one I'm relating to most strongly. They may in addition have traits I wish I was better at, such as assertiveness or bluntness when called for. I may not relate to them extremely, depending on their personality as a whole. Ginger I don't relate to a whole lot, except through the aloof, serious part of his personality. And that's the same thing with Sephiroth, Gin, and other such characters. They're not really much like me overall, just in that one key element.
The other buddy can be any of a variety of personality types, although it's very rare that they're silly, a prankster, or quirky in a silly way, since I am not generally fond of those character types and do not usually gravitate towards any characters that are that way. I do like Micky of the fictional TV show Monkees a lot, and he's probably the one exception to that rule ... only the Micky I like best is from season 1, where he didn't act so random and could often be serious. Also, Zack from FF7 can be kind of silly, but nothing really extreme, even though that's how some fanon portrayals are. He's more cheery and happy than silly, but he sobers up a lot later, which is bittersweet but kind of cool, too.
I love to see a character emotionally/mentally grow up, maybe because of my own journey from being silly and random to more serious. The early entries of this journal make me cringe. But I sobered up quite a bit soon after I started it, due to a lot of painful things that were happening in my life right then. I emerged from that quite cynical, even hating myself for several years before that cleared up due to a, well, I don't want to sound preachy, but a combination trial and spiritual experience from God. I never mentioned those dark feelings anywhere, that I recall. I didn't want to talk about it, didn't know how, and I dealt with it completely privately. It was a Hellish emptiness that was always with me; even when I was genuinely happy about something or another, I could feel that emptiness of self-hatred inside of me and I honestly wondered how anyone could care about me or think that I was a good person when it seemed like over and over I was always inadvertently hurting someone or another or snapping at them. (The snapping is, unfortunately, another trait I canonically share with Ginger, as is the trait I gave him of him wondering how he could be cared about.) Sometimes I still go into moods where I hate myself for several hours or days (usually when my emotions are see-sawing). And I'm still pretty cynical overall. I wish I wouldn't go into the "I hate myself" moods and I'm thankful they don't last indefinitely anymore. But I would rather be cynical than silly and random.
Actually, in real-life I was always pretty serious, even as a child, despite times where Mom and I would start quoting some hilarious comedy movies and crack up about them. LOL. Dad always got annoyed saying that we were being too silly. Really, though, I was more serious than most of the kids in the neighborhood, and although I had some moments where I'd blossom and joke a little, I was usually the withdrawn, quiet member of the group when compared to everyone else. And while I was amused and laughed at some of the others' antics, I didn't always appreciate some of their silliness, if they made their silliness directly involve me and I didn't want to participate. Hence, the buddy characters I'm usually drawn to reflect that a lot and both/all members will probably be more serious than silly. That's not to say that they don't joke; Ginger and Lou, and Joe and Lew, have some wonderfully snarky exchanges in my fics. LOL. I enjoy banter, when it's shared and enjoyed between the participants.
I wonder sometimes if my penchant for serious characters and the earliest beginnings of my own seriousness is all because of my dad's influence, which is both ironic and amusing if so, since I always felt, and still feel, that he is too serious. But I know that parental influence can be really strong, even if one doesn't fully realize it's happening.
And of course, any time I start getting seriously interested in characters who are canonically bad guys, I will feel extremely guilty about it for a while, just as I did years ago. Several months ago, I posted more than once about that guilt regarding Rumpelstiltskin, and Ecks and Wye. I still really wonder how I ever wrote about Gin and Vodka with ease. I realize it was their interaction that intrigued me and that overcame all ordinary barriers I have in writing about assassins, but I still can hardly believe I did that. I do not at this time write about any characters who are currently working as assassins, even if that was their occupation in the past. (Ecks and Wye had to leave the spy business due to their canonical actions of betraying their organization and are currently private investigators in my verse.) Unless Lucius Bowen, The Fugitive's Pinto character, counts as a current assassin, but I haven't written about him for some time and I have him working for U.N.C.L.E. now, albeit I have never shown him on an assassination job and probably never would. No matter whether the assassin is working for the good guys or the bad guys, I'm not terribly comfortable writing about such exploits, even though I will admit that I feel more at ease if the character is working for the good guys.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2015-06-01 07:34 pm (UTC)Interesting point about putting OCs in h/c scenarios. I wonder if that's one of the reasons why it's easier to write fanfics than original stuff.
*hugs for the emptiness*
As far as the villain characters go, I wonder if it's partly because of the potentials for the character that you like, in addition to whatever quirks they have. Like... before 3B ruined things, Rumpel had amazing potential. And that's the main reason why I love Veran.
no subject
Date: 2015-06-01 08:52 pm (UTC)I think it probably is. At least definitely for me. I don't know; I keep trying to write my novel and I don't get very far into it before I start feeling uncomfortable. I only really feel consistently comfortable writing for other people's characters.
**hugs back.**
Very true. Rumpelstiltskin was such a fascinating character. I still don't understand why they ruined all the progress he was making on a path to redemption. Ginger and Lou discuss Once at length, and rant, in the most recent piece I finished.
no subject
Date: 2015-06-02 02:00 am (UTC)One thing that helped me to finish my first book was to have an actor in mind for whatever role. Then it seems more like a fic/someone else's characters. Though the downside is that it could lead to a character usurping the spotlight because you cast a Darling in the role.
Indeed, ugh. And they couldn't even resolve the mess with the kiss from the BatB fairytale, either. Ugh. I must check out that drabble, and the siren once, once I've caught up with my current projects.
no subject
Date: 2015-06-02 04:25 am (UTC)Indeed. Ugh. Such a rotten shame. I hope you like them if you get the chance to see them!
no subject
Date: 2015-06-03 02:13 am (UTC)I'm sure I will! :)
no subject
Date: 2015-06-03 09:26 am (UTC):)