Writer's Block: Solo traveler

[ladybug_archive]

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It depends. Offline, I am absolutely HORRENDOUS at it. Both because I have trouble stringing the right words together and because I simply don't feel comfortable opening up that way. I don't like having the other person right there with me in the same room, in case what I say totally doesn't make sense or they're weirded out or such.

I really only feel comfortable at all opening up online, where I can type things out and hopefully get them across better than when I try to speak aloud. But there are some things I won't share anywhere, honestly.

Being emotionally guarded is an advantage in one way because it's a defense mechanism to keep yourself from being hurt. It's a disadvantage because it can also cause misunderstandings between you and others. It can also give the wrong impression about what you're like. But it's a freaking heck of a lot better to be emotionally guarded than to be exploding all the time.

I wish so much that I really was like Autor and those other aloof characters I admire so much. I like to pretend I am, but I really know I'm not. I usually manage to conceal the exploding side of my personality online, but offline I have the most terrible time with it. I think I'll make it a new goal to try harder and actively think about being emotionally guarded even when I really want to blow up.

Comments

[rose-of-pollux.livejournal.com]

Offline, I can do it if I have to-- and I will have to, given my chosen career path. XD; I do stammer when I'm nervous, but after a few minutes and I've gotten comfortable with the person/situation, I can quickly come out of my shell.

But yeah, it's definitely easier online. XD

**nods** I'm emotionally guarded when required to (again, a necessity for my chosen path).

My way of catharsis when I need to emotionally explode is that I do find someone to rant to privately-- someone like you or my friend CC. I find that it helps a *lot*.

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

Oh dear. XD Well, good luck. Maybe that was one reason why I was such a terrible teacher. That, and I do share Autor's awkwardness around children.

**nodnod.** I do that too, when possible, but that doesn't seem to stop the explosions. -.- I'm so disgusted with myself.

[cskazaam.livejournal.com]

Hmm.... I'm not sure I have trouble opening up so much as finding the right person to open up to. XD Though it also kinda depends on how you define opening up.... I'll rant about things that are bothering me, but how much I really go into how I really feel about things depends on who's there. Though it is much easier to say things online because it's somehow easier to find the right words than when the person is right there. XD And you can take much longer to figure out how to say them. Though I will take time to figure out how to say things if the person is right there, if I have to.

Hmm.... I wouldn't necessarily say that emotionally guarded is the opposite of exploding all the time - I'd just say that it's hiding all your emotions and that even emotionally guarded people can blow up, maybe just because they're holding everything back all the time.

I think that to avoid exploding, it's really a matter of taking a deep breath and keeping things in perspective rather than trying to hold back your feelings. And then trying to understand things from other people's point of view, if they're involved, and whether or not there's anything you can do to change things. It's frustrating when there's not, but at the same time, there's no point in worrying about it for long. I haven't had too many times when I've reached the boiling point, but when I do, I just go off by myself for a while, enjoy fuming for a bit/ranting in my head and then finally think things over. I've found that listening to music really helps to diffuse things. (LOL, which is why I sometimes avoid it at first, because part of me actually wants to stay mad. XD; )

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

**nodnod.** There's some things I'll tell in greater detail to one person than another. And sometimes things I won't tell to one person at all. XD;

Yeah, I didn't mean to make it sound like they were opposites. XD; I was actually just ranting about myself. And how I'd rather be one way than another.

**nods.** I try to do that, and sometimes succeed. Sometimes not. -.- And staying mad unfortunately does feel good at times. XD; Or at least it seems like it does.

Emotionally-guarded people can definitely explode. It's always the quiet ones, after all. LOL. Autor actually loses his temper with Fakir in the cemetery fic.

[northeastwind.livejournal.com]

I try harder on the internet to open up-- and it's easier, too, since you have more time to think and don't have to watch your friend going "...What?" inside their head every time you say something stupid XD; I have a problem with caring way too much what other people think.

Having the person right across from you is actually really important when you're talking, though. Body language and facial expression convey more than actual words do, and it's a lot easier to connect when you've got visible evidence, and not just text.

Plus, apparently 40% of everything you say on the internet is misunderstood. If you misunderstand 40% of all your friends, how many friends do you really have? T__T

...Of course, the above statistic may be wrong. But the point still stands! Voice + expression > just text! XD

I concur with the "being mad feels good" thing X3

I keep my mouth shut offline and explode online. I'd say I'm pretty happy XD But good luck with controlling yourself in the future.

[insaneladybug.livejournal.com]

Yep. XD

LOL. Definitely true! But when I see someone looking confused, it can sometimes rattle my train of thought or speech.

**snarks.** Probably 40% of everything I say, on- or offline, is misunderstood.

Thanks! I need it.