Ramblings and Musings of the Insane, Philosophical Ladybug

So apparently all I have to do is accidentally see Once DVDs at eBay for good prices to end up dreaming about Once and Rumbelle. I think that show and that pairing mean more to me than I'm even fully aware of, and the way the show has let me down since season 3B has disappointed me even more than I realize. I've dreamed about it several times lately.

Yesterday I finally got up a Mannix season 1 post here: http://thepathofthestars.blogspot.com I'd meant to do a Lew Wickersham-centric post, but it turned into season 1/Lew and Joe's friendship, instead. Of course, you can't really discuss Lew for long without getting into the friendship, but now I'm wondering whether to write a post to say some of the things about Lew that didn't quite fit into this post or whether I should not post any more about season 1 and save it for the book about season 1 I want to write.

I also finally got another webcomic page done. http://thesecretlifeofexcons.tumblr.com I'm hoping to get page 2 done soon, too. I posted 1 by itself because posts have been so scarce lately.

And I am so restless and nervous about a lot of things today, for some reason. I had a horrible time going to sleep for a while, I was so edgy, and the edginess continues after sleep. I'm not even fully sure why I'm so wound up. Among other things, I'm worried about whether I'll have all the content desired in order to open my website next month, and how I'll get said content, and whether a reviewer familiar with Riptide will keep reading and commenting on my multi-chapter fic or if she'll bug out because she doesn't want it to be supernatural and is afraid it will be.... Also wondering if people will get mad at me for toying with a May-December romance between Giovanna and Scofield or if they won't care since a large portion of the fanbase prefers slash and would probably rather Cody didn't have Giovanna.

I'm really nervous about planning the next activity for the girls at church, since I'm pretty much on my own due to a decision that each of us will be in charge of an activity and we'll keep going the rounds like that. I kind of liked when we all planned the specific activities together instead, so that the whole burden for the lesson wasn't on one person. Especially since while kids like me for some reason, I'm really not a good teacher and often get tongue-tied and don't explain things well, so I'd kind of like help. But I wouldn't like to ask and make it look like I can't handle putting it together on my own, since the others can manage fine doing that.

I'm a little sad and disappointed about a couple of things, nothing major, but still, it contributes to the overall feeling of being on edge. I wonder if the activity is the main source of stress, though. I only have a week to prepare it. And I'm pretty worried about the website, too, since things just aren't going the way I hoped in regards to it.

I love Evanescence's new album! I agree with one person's review about most of the songs being very empowering. It's a different sort of lyrical sound for them, but it works. Amy Lee sounds fantastic as always. And I'm very pleased that the songs are not suggestive. I was highly disappointed in some of The Open Door's songs due to that fact. And Like You is not suggestive, but it's just disturbing. I rarely listen to The Open Door these days.

I really detest the packaging for the deluxe album, though. The CD and DVD are in envelopes on either side of the unfolding container and have to be slid out. It's so stupid! It's very difficult not to touch them while trying to pry them loose. I wonder if it had to be like that to keep the cost down.

I wrote a few paragraphs for the Western fic. I am still unsure if I'm going to be able to proceed with it as I would like to do. I'm about to intro Captain Harper, so that might help my enthusiasm levels. It's a very new and strange thing to be writing; I don't know what to make of it.

And I think I figured out how I got started tilting my head the way I do. I believe it was in church years ago. Tall people would sit in front of us and I couldn't see the speaker, so I would tilt my head to one side or the other to see around the people. And somehow it stuck. Even when no one and nothing is in my way, I tilt my head while watching things or people, or often while writing or reading on the computer. I've been doing it while working on this entry.

FOOOOD! XD

Actually we haven't eaten yet. The turkey took forever to unthaw and we got it in the oven about two hours ago. Usually we're eating by this time. LOL. But's that okay.

It was a year ago today that my first betta fish, Boba, died. Well, a year once we're at approximately 7:30pm my time. It's hard to believe it's really been that long. I miss my little fishies. I may get another one, a female, and call her Isis (after Ishizu, of course). Before I've felt like it wasn't the right time to have another fish since Frodo died in September. But lately I've been feeling like now is the time for another one. I love fish so much! I love to watch them swimming about and frolicking ^^ So what if you can't pet them or hold them or take them for walks? They're just as much fun as any cat or dog! My fish even liked watching TV. I'm serious XD They would swim over to look out their bowl at the screen ^^ Boba seemed especially fond of YuGiOh. LOL.

One of my best buds did a "What I am thankful for" list. I want to do the same, and remember everyone special in my life.

First and foremost, I want my Lord and my God for placing me here with the family I have, in the city and the neighborhood where I live. I know He knows what He is doing and He arranged everything the way it should be. I thank Him for this beautiful free land, for every wonderful person who has touched my life, and for the talents He gave me. I pray every day that I will be able to use them wisely to uplift and edify others.

Thank you, Mom, for always role-playing with me. Some of the happiest memories I'll always have are the times when we've role-played. And it's always fun when we go shopping.

Thank you, Dad, for always being willing to take me places when you go out. I enjoy spending those times with you.

Thank you, everyone else in my family: my brothers and sisters, my aunts and uncles, my grandparents, my cousins, my nephews and nieces, and everyone else. Each one of you has touched my life in some way.

Thank you, JP, for becoming my first online best friend. You've always accepted me as the insane, hurt/comfort obsessed, chatterbox I am and been patient and thoughtful with me through all of my wacky ideas and plottings. And you always have neat ideas for how to move my stories along ^___^

Thank you, Carli, for being my first offline best friend ^^ We had so many fun times together. I always loved hanging out with you and your family. I remember the year I turned 11, when you gave me that party, that meant a lot. You've always been really thoughtful and an awesome pal ^^

Thank you, Carrie, for the awesome h/c RPs we've had. You and JP and Birdee are the only ones with whom I've unleashed *all* of my angstiness upon. I always look forward to our RP's (and am anxious to continue our current one!) XD. You always have neat, angsty, fluffy ideas! And it was so kewl to meet you and find that you are also a Christian! **V!**

Thank you, Marty, Stan, Jay, and Dan, for the awesome music you played and for always being patient and willing to talk with me ^^ I first started listening to your wonderful, fun show during a time when I was a bit lonely and it always cheered me up ^__^ And I called in so many times that I soon got the number memorized ^__~ Hehehe.

Thank you, Des, for being my first YGO buddy ^__^ I still have all of our old RPs (of course, I save any and all that are special to me). I miss hanging out with you and Kythiopia and Al and Saikoro and everyone else. ^__~ Maybe hopefully soon we'll be able to pick up our RPs again.

Thank you, Aubrie and Birdee, also for our RPs. I have many friends that I enjoy role-playing with, and with each of you there's a different, unique style of story-telling that's so much fun. Aubrie, I always enjoy seeing what you've cooked up next XD Birdee, the scenes we do with you and Seto are so hilarious ^^

Thank you, Lizzie, for always valuing my opinion on your stories so highly ^__^ I'm honored to help in any ways I possibly can.

Thank you, Adelianna, for the times you assisted me with titles and songs for my fics. I still have that song you wrote for that one story ^^ I wish so badly I could get it set to music! It deserves it!

Thank you, Shawndra, Nick, and Ninetales, for keeping some of my older interests alive ^^ It's fun talking to all of you and plotting new WCA adventures ^__~

Thank you, Linda, for always wanting to talk to me and not caring that I'm so much younger than you. You treat me as an equal and I love that =)

Thank you, Maury, for all the fun Sundays and Wednesdays (and sometimes Fridays) that we shared ^^ Usually I'm kinda a loner in church. It was awesome to have someone to hang out with.

Thank you, Sara, for always being friendly. You never fail to say Hi when you see me ^__^ You've brightened many a day for me with your happy personality =3

Thank you, Laura, for how you always went out of your way to make me feel important. I always knew I could count on you when I needed a ride or even a little break from it all. I luved watching the movies with you and making cookies =) And going to Old Navy too ^^ I know you're brightening more lives in your new neighborhood!

Thank yous also whole-heartedly go out to Kelli, Desiree, Brady, all of my other YW leaders, Daniel and Ammon, Eileen, all the dear families in our neighborhood, and everyone online and offline who has proven to me that good people exist in this world ^^ I truly care about each and every one of you and consider you all my friends.

Happy Thanksgiving to all, and don't forget to thank the One Who gave us everything and everyone we have!