Ramblings and Musings of the Insane, Philosophical Ladybug

I am so hyped up right now.

I saw the Wagon Train episode The Donna Fuller Story. I loved it! Simon played an adorable good guy in it, and things worked out happy in the end for him. His was such a kind, forgiving character, even after a deliberate disaster struck him. He definitely deserved to have a decent ending. I was so happy for him, and so thrilled to see Simon playing such a squeeable good guy!

I really like how that show isn't afraid to tackle some serious issues. The Sarah Drummond Story was very dark, very serious, and had a bittersweet but hopeful ending. I just loved it also. William Talman was in that one, playing an amazing, multi-faceted character, Walt Archer. Flint McCullough sees some good in him right off, and when he later sees Walt displaying outrageously prejudicial behavior, he feels that he can get through to Walt because of the good he saw earlier. There are some heart-breaking twists, and in the end Walt realizes how narrow-minded he's been and wants to change.

I also saw a fascinating Perry Mason, The Sun-Bather's Diary. I saw it years and years ago, and remember the epilogue distinctly, but seeing it now brings a whole new perspective.

It's a very early episode, #17. My theory about the fascinating scenes between Perry and Mr. Burger starting in season 2 was already blown by another season 1 episode, The Crooked Candle. (In that one, they have a scene in Burger's office, as they do in The Runaway Corpse, but in the Candle one Burger is not terse and cold. They even address each other by their first names, possibly the earliest occurrence of such.) This one today has so many layers that my mind is bowled over and I'm squeeing away.

I remember watching it in wide-eyed intensity before. Perry gets himself into a world of trouble when, due to a terrible circumstance, he ends up accused of being a possible accessory to a murder and perjuring himself. Mr. Burger is trying to get to the bottom of things, and with it admittedly looking bad for Perry he's not pleased. In spite of his frustration over Perry's courtroom antics, and wanting to catch him on those, he certainly doesn't want to think the very worst. He seems quite serious and sincere when he says he would hate to think that Perry really was an accessory to murder. Perry does say that Burger is out to get him, which is true, but at the same time he just wants to get at the truth.

(One thing I love about Mr. Burger: above all, he just wants justice to be done. Time and again I've seen him agreeable to Perry's moves in court the moment he has even the slightest inkling that Perry might be right. He may not always like Perry's methods, and he definitely doesn't like feeling shown up by Perry, but he doesn't let those feelings get in the way of making sure that the guilty person is convicted and the innocent one goes free, if an innocent party has been charged.)

In the epilogue, Burger finds Perry and Della at a restaurant and slides into the booth to talk with them. Things are cleared up now and he tells Perry that the perjury charge (and of course, all other suspicions) have been dropped. Perry is pleased. He offers to buy Burger lunch. Then, looking to the waitress with a mischievous smile he says, "One order of crow for the gentleman." Poor Burger. LOL. His expression is priceless. Perry continues, "He'll eat it here," and chuckles good-naturedly. (Although I'm sure it felt good to take that little jab, after that disaster. Perry has great respect for Burger, but he was clearly frustrated and discouraged about the events of this episode.) Burger might have come to see the humor; we don't see his reaction any further. But in season 3, when Perry teases him another time, Burger does find it amusing.

They totally are closer by season 3; I'm sure of that at any rate. (And even closer in season 6; Burger was relaxed enough there that he seemed to tease Perry a bit in The Shoplifter's Shoe, Leonard Nimoy's episode! I'm positive that would never have happened in season 1.) But apparently the fascinating scenes started right off in season 1. The epilogue scene certainly features them being relatively friendly compared to the rest of the episode. And it was as though it wasn't the first encounter of like kind. I adore that quote from Tom Clancy about it not being unusual to see the opposing attorneys having lunch together no matter how they tear into each other in court. This episode displays that well.

Also, The Purple Woman, from season 2. Burger again encounters Perry and company at a restaurant, and this time he outright congratulates Perry on the case. Della comments that Burger seems happy and Burger says he is. Perry says that there was an article in a law journal recently and quotes the last paragraph. It concerns the fact that winning or losing a trial isn't important; getting at the truth and seeing justice done is important. It was signed "Hamilton Burger." Perry then invites Burger to sit with them and gives up his own place at the table, moving to the other side. The Purple Woman was a very intense, exciting episode, and with that scene alone it's currently one of my top favorites. I really like that Paul and Della got to see that other side to Burger. As much as I adore The Prudent Prosecutor, I wish that Paul had been around to see how that went down!

I have a new Holy Grail episode, too: The Nervous Neighbor, from season 7. Burger and Perry are really pretty much working together on that one! Oh, I hope I can see it. It's not on DVD yet, and it doesn't seem to be on our local station's rotation. But I must see it! I don't want to wait another ten-plus years for it like I did The Prudent Prosecutor and Paul Drake's Dilemma.

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In all honesty, I've thought long and hard about this many times in the past, and I think I'd be the one not ready to commit. It's hard for me to imagine me being ready while the other person wouldn't be. In fact, it's downright nigh-impossible.

I've thought long and hard in general about men and dating lately. I had occasion a couple of weeks ago to attend an activity of people my age in this area who belong to my church. They were friendly and sweet and some of them I'd like to get to know better. But at the same time, the atmosphere was just so full of silliness that I felt I didn't fit in. I'm a serious person by nature, even though I like to laugh. The person I think I clicked with best there was someone who seemed more that way. He had a great, fun time there and put on a good act (it was a talent show), and he wasn't pushy about me preferring to attend a different congregation than the one made up specifically of people around my age. (Pushing me to try to go to the latter congregation just alienates me further, so it meant a lot to me that he was understanding. He said, "Wherever you feel comfortable.")

I've been wondering lately if I would feel most comfortable with someone older than me. All my life, I've usually gravitated more to older people to chat with and have as friends. Even when I was in the youth group, I struck up rapports with the leaders and preferred chatting with them over my contemporaries. I liked talking one-on-one with those my age, but if I didn't take a shine to a particular one I preferred to stay quiet.

(And of course, there's my love of old movies and TV shows. There's not a lot of people my age who are into older things, or at least, it's not always easy to find them except on the Internet. Which may also be part of the reason why I feel more at home with older people.)

With celebrities too, I've noticed that for the most part I have always gravitated to older men. I took notice of young Paul Popowich because my mom noticed him, and then I grew to love him too. And Elijah Wood was just so awesome as Frodo that he ended up becoming a favorite of mine as well. But they're the exception rather than the rule. When I was little and watching Mr. Rogers, I used to say my quilt had a crush on him. LOL. I suppose I probably really had a crush on him myself. And I remember crushing on Chuck.

Around eleven or twelve I had a crush on Barney Fife. Then, when I got to see Gomer Pyle for the first time since I was in kindergarten, I realized I had a crush on Corporal Boyle.

I've mentioned before that I prefer Jimmy Murphy in his older roles, when he was in his thirties and forties. For Simon Oakland I'm more torn on what era I prefer. But regardless, he didn't even start acting in the movies and on TV until he was in his forties. And now William Talman's strongly in the picture too (even though I've liked him for however long I've paid attention to Perry Mason episodes).

I kind of feel torn, though. I love quite a few recent things as well as old things, so I wonder if I'd be happy with someone who is more into older things alone. What I kind of think I'd like best is a man older than me who likes a mixture of both, as I do. But maybe if there is a man my age who likes both, I'd be happy that way too. Maybe what I ultimately want is someone serious and mature who still knows how to have fun.

In any case, I did find that fellow very sweet. I liked him when I saw him previously at my class on Wednesday once, too. I don't see him around very often, but if I see him again I plan to try to say Hello.

Also in any case, however, I'm not ready for any sort of romantic relationship. But, even as cynical and scoffing as I often am, it is something I think about.