Ramblings and Musings of the Insane, Philosophical Ladybug

So a long time ago Dad wanted me to add a bunch of Cary Grant, Gregory Peck, and Gary Cooper movies to the Netflix queue. Naturally he wanted dramas, not comedies, so I looked through what they had and tried to add every drama that sounded interesting. Unfortunately, they had an incorrect summary for the movie Only Angels Have Wings and I thought that brief summary sounded so interesting that I got the thing without looking up more in-depth information.

It was ... pretty lame, honestly. Not super terrible, but not great either. It was just kind of ... there. And while the summary made it sound like Cary Grant's character had made some terrible error and was spending the movie trying to regain respect from the other pilots, that ... wasn't how it was at all. It was some other dude who made the error, and honestly, it really was a super bad one. He bailed out of a malfunctioning plane and left his mechanic to die (which he did ... die, that is). Apparently he deliberately left the guy to die because he was a coward. That was the impression given, anyway, rather than that he bailed out thinking the mechanic was bailing out too. And his wife had acted really awful with Cary Grant's character in the past, and she was supposed to be acting really awful about her current husband, but they didn't do a good job of showing that. She wanted to know what he had done that was so horrible it was causing everyone to shun him, which is a normal reaction for anyone. Apparently she wanted to know for her sake and not because of his, but they didn't really bring that out very well. So instead the movie came off looking like it was bashing the idea of a wife wanting to know the skeleton in her husband's closet in general. Naturally she should respect his privacy if there are things he doesn't want to/feels he can't tell her (which was something Barbara Keane on Gotham couldn't seem to grasp and was one of the main things that ticked me off about her), but sometimes if you really love someone you want to know everything that's going on in their life, especially if it's something that's bringing sadness. And honestly, this character was coming off as just being worried about her husband. If Cary Grant's character hadn't gone off on a tangent insisting she was only concerned about herself, I wouldn't have realized that was what they were driving at. It was still hard to believe it after he said it, because the woman just wasn't being portrayed that way.

There were a few moments of humanity, mostly involving the best friend of Cary Grant's character, and I did like that they showed Cary Grant's character felt things deep down but just tried not to show it. That was moving on some level. But mostly the movie felt very cold and emotionless and macho, really. And it was supposed to have a lot of exciting scenes of planes flying, and there weren't that many, honestly. Most plane scenes were close-ups that were filmed on a soundstage. I find it hard to believe that such a blah movie could have actually been the inspiration for a TV series like Tales of the Golden Monkey (which was the inspiration for TaleSpin, according to Wikipedia). TaleSpin, with all of its heart and soul, couldn't be more different from this thing.

And I had a dream today about Charles Nelson Reilly being dead (which he has been for ten years) and them doing some kind of tribute with his All Dogs Go to Heaven character feeling sad about him being gone. Also, H. M. Wynant was in it for some reason. That was a nicely depressing thing to wake up from, especially considering how special Charles Nelson Reilly and that character are to me. I became obsessed with All Dogs Go to Heaven during a very discouraging time in my life and the movie and that character really helped to buoy me up. I really didn't need to have his death fresh in my mind again right now.

I hope tomorrow's Pony episodes are good. I wasn't that impressed by the trailer, but I am remaining ... cautiously hopeful. I'm also not that happy that the main characters and Spike get transformed into sea creatures in the upcoming movie, but hopefully it's just for a scene or so. I am excited that we're getting Sea-Ponies in general. And all the merchandise planned for the movie thrills me and makes me very nostalgic for the G1 era.

Also, now I've gotten so far into my Turtles timeline and Barney has improved himself and his relationship with Baxter so much, it's kind of depressing reading back on the older fics where they're still having problems. I still feel kind of weird about the fact that I created most of the details of their problems, albeit they definitely had some in canon judging from Barney's episode. At least I don't feel outright guilty about it anymore. That dark and depressing and twisted fic I read certainly cured me of that.

It's strange when I have one thing planned for a character and something totally different happens. Both with Baby Face and Snakes, I never intended for them to be anything other than bad guys. Then I got intrigued with various elements of how I was writing them and that's what caused me to flesh them out. With Barney, it was sort of the same thing, as I started out planning to make him like the 2003 Baxter, albeit with a little more humanity. Then I decided that wasn't fair to the character when we knew so little about him in canon and I wanted him to be better than the 2003 Baxter, who was basically sane but evil. So Barney became much more troubled instead, and unlike the 2003 Baxter's idiocy, he regretted being with Shredder and Krang more and more until he started working against them at times and finally turned against them altogether. Now he's actually turning his life around and it's lovely.

Ugh, I hope I feel happier later today. That dream really did bum me out and I was also feeling a little depressed from looking in one of the earlier Turtles stories, as mentioned. And then other unhappy memories came to the surface again that I would rather not talk about.

So I've run across Robert Stack twice this week: first, when Mom suddenly took a notion she wanted to see Written on the Wind, and then this past night when we found a nice suspense film to watch, Murder on Flight 502. I realized in the first film that "... Oh my gosh, Robert Stack really is swoon-worthy, isn't he? ... And he has been ever since my days of watching The Untouchables." Apparently I had a crush on him then, but I never realized it until this week. Now I feel like going and buying some half-season sets.

After looking up information on him and finding out that he was married to the same woman all through the years, the crush only grew stronger. Few things are as attractive to me as that. And few things tick me off as much as infidelity in a marriage. I realized that out of everyone who is firmly in my top tier of "darlings", every one of them either didn't cheat on his wife or I don't know one way or another if they did. Known cheaters just don't make the top tier (or they drop out of it if they were there).

Another actor-related thing that happened this week was that I had a dream where I was watching something where one of the characters was played by Leonard Stone. Naturally, I woke up wanting to look him up, which I did. I like him because he's one of those character actors who can play anything from weaselly cowards to upright policemen and it's always believable. He was also married to the same woman all through the years, and he died in 2011, which I found surreal for some reason. I think it always feels a little surreal to me when someone from the classic TV era was alive all through this time and then died only a short time before I started discovering/re-discovering them. I feel the same about Milton Selzer, who died in 2006.

Of course, speaking of actor deaths, I can't not mention Robert Vaughn's passing. That was a sad surprise to me, especially since I hadn't known he was ill. I had an U.N.C.L.E. dream last week that I wanted to write a fic of, and after Robert's death, I tweaked some things about the planned dream-fic and turned it into a Robert/Napoleon tribute of sorts.

I was also sad about Leonard Cohen's death. I still love and adore his song Hallelujah. I must admit I don't know any of the other things he wrote, but I've been thinking I should look into them. If they're anywhere as good/powerful as Hallelujah, I'm sure I'd love them too.

This has been a big week for fics. I think I posted three fics, two of which were entirely written this week. I think I now have 500 posted fics at FF.net. I have many more fics that I haven't posted there, however, so that isn't the definitive number of what I've written by far. The fics have been flowing, which is thrilling to me since that doesn't always happen. I now have four posted fics in my Turtles timeline and have rearranged the next "episodes" in the list again. I'm doing the Twin Beaks-inspired one next, and have already started it. I'm hoping to have it finished by Thanksgiving, since Thanksgiving is a subplot in it. We'll see what happens.

My Turtles site is live now, by the way. https://sites.google.com/site/exittheflytmnt1987/ I'm still adding things to it, and it seems like I rearrange the episode list every time I finish a fic.

I also finally started making my Baxter plushie. Aside from a horrible fight with the coated wire I'm using for his glasses, it's been an uneventful and fun time so far. Making the shirt is always a horror to me, however, and that's what's next. Ugh, I wish I could just make the sleeves attached to the rest of the shirt to begin with.

And I fell in love with a purple teddy bear at Smith's this past week. I don't usually fall so hard for plushies that aren't either specific licensed characters or cats or fish, but I just really liked this one. (It may have been partially the influence of seeing many beautiful purple products on QVC, which I've meant to write an entry about for weeks. I am kind of nuts about QVC and I love it more than HSN, which I feel a little guilty about since HSN came first. But QVC feels so much more homey.) I seriously considered getting it, but didn't feel I should right then. I'd be willing to wait and ask for it for Christmas, but I worry they might not have any by then, as I've often watched stock fly out of Smith's long before a holiday comes. I'm thinking maybe I should get it this week, if the copy that looked the best is still there.

It reminds me of years ago when I fell in love with a white Christmas teddy bear at Smith's. I remember it seems like it was really late when we went to get the groceries the week when I had the money that I could get it (which was $2.99). I think it was 11 at night, oh gosh. We must have been up really late doing groceries that night. I was so excited to be able to get that bear. They had white and brown styles and it was the white one I really wanted. He became one of the sons in my polar bear family, which consists of two big white Christmas bears, him, and a little Valentine's bear.

So William Schallert died this past day. He was 93. He had a good, full life and it was so awesome and inspiring how much he loved acting and refused to retire. He was working right up to when he died, as far as I know.

He is definitely one of my favorites. He was in the tier directly below the ones I crush on and I was always thrilled to see him in things. I should watch something with him tonight in his memory.

I also learned the other day that Joe Santos, who played Dennis Becker on The Rockford Files, died in March. I said "Oh no" out loud when I saw that. (And groaned in sadness when I read about William Schallert.)

This is not a good year for classic TV deaths. We had Patty Duke in March, too. I fear for the rest of the year....

I try not to let silly things irk me as much as in the past, when after reading a magazine article that showed the writer clearly didn't understand the Marik Ishtar character, I wrote a long letter to the magazine pointing out a bunch of things the writer either didn't understand or didn't know. I doubt I'll write a letter to the publishing company Little and Brown now. But ... I can't help feeling annoyed that on the case for a set of Equestria Girls novels, they made some actual errors about Sunset Shimmer when describing the book plots. You'd think that a case of the books would make an effort to get things right. Instead they make it sound like Sunset is still a problem for the characters following the first movie. They have the idiocy to say that the Dazzlings is her band, when in reality she had nothing to do with being in the band and instead wanted to stop them. And they call her "always rebellious."

...

Completely aside from the fact that she had a complete change of heart at the end of the first movie and wanted to be good and not rebellious, the books actually portray her as even more insecure in the succeeding adventures than the movies do. Even in the most recent book, the Friendship Games adaption, this is done. In the movie, a key scene has Applejack making a remark that could be taken as guilting Sunset about her past. But Applejack means it as a joke; they are close enough friends now that such jokes can be made. Sunset half-smirks in response; she knows it's a joke. But in the book, Sunset takes it as a way to guilt her and show they'll never forget what she did in the first movie.

Apparently the publishing company will certainly never forget, or forgive, since they want to portray her so unflatteringly on the box and even accuse her of things she didn't do. **headdesk.**

Saturday was an extremely long day. Where to even begin? I feel terrible everything took so long, especially since Mom wasn't feeling well enough to go and we had to leave her home and call in every little while or so. But things can't fully be explained on the phone, so she was still plenty worried and I felt plenty horrible at the time it took. Even moreso since some of the time didn't have to have been taken.

So let's see. We made good time getting to the church and made it for the viewing/wake, as we were aiming for. The following funeral service was lovely and all the kids spoke, but gah, it was so sad. They were all so sad and some of them kept breaking down. These were grown men. It was moving to see how much they loved their mother (and for most of them, she was a stepmother, but they still considered her a mom just like their other mom). But man, it was heartbreaking. I don't often cry at funerals, but it was a struggle not to cry at this one.

The luncheon for the family and close friends was pretty amazing. I've never been to a funeral luncheon like that before. It was Mexican food. There were giant tortillas to fill with beans, chicken, cheeeeese, salsa, avocado spread.... It was so awesome. And there was ice water and several kinds of cake.

We hadn't actually planned to go to the cemetery part of the service, since it was even farther away and Dad just didn't see how he could afford the gas. But then my sister offered that we could go with her and her youngest daughter. We had to make a spur of the moment decision because everyone was leaving right then. I was worried to go with someone else, since then we'd be captive to their whims, but I could tell Dad really wanted to go to the cemetery, and I did too, really, if we could manage it. And I hoped it wouldn't take too long afterwards to come back to the car. So I figured we'd better try it. He left the decision up to me and I didn't want to be responsible for Dad not getting to go.

She didn't seem to know her way around too well for some reason, but her daughter set up the Google Maps app on the phone and used that to guide her up to the city where the burial would be. This was where we all used to live, and the cemetery is one of my favorites ever. It's so huge and old and mysterious.

The burial plot was in the newer section, so we drove over there, my sister got us to the wrong burial service even though we told her it was by the fence, and we had to try again. That time it went right and we arrived early.

I was surprised not to see the jagged triangular headstone in the area. I had thought it was right near the family plots in that area. Since there was a little extra time, I wandered off to find it. That thing creeped me out so bad as a kid, but it morbidly intrigued me too. It's just so unique. And then it's also creepy to me because from a distance, the only thing you can see written on it is the surname going vertically down the stone. The name is unusual and it's similar to the name of an aunt (just minus one letter), which only adds to the unsettling nature of it. I've tried to put it in every cemetery picture I've drawn (albeit I don't put the name).

I finally found it, over near where some family friends are buried. It still creeps me out, but it was daylight and didn't seem so creepy then. I walked right up to it. It's pretty big in person; it was about as tall as I am. Of course, I'm pretty short (five feet even), but that's still pretty big for a tombstone. I wonder why they used such a jagged piece of rock like that for the marker. That would make for an interesting story, I imagine. It's sad too; the person buried there was only 19.

I walked back and they still hadn't started yet; they were waiting for the hearse. When it finally got there, we did a little graveside service and tried to sing some family hymns, but we didn't know all the words, especially on the final one we tried. I'm glad we made it to the cemetery to participate in that final part of the service. It was after we left that the problems started.

We needed to drop my niece off at a friend's house where she'd arranged to spend the night. My sister detoured a bit to look at my dad's birth house (yeah, he wasn't born in a hospital) and the old shop where he used to work with his grandfather. Along the drive up, I had remembered that I wanted to check Marshalls for the rare Adagio Dazzle doll, as she's been turning up in a lot of them lately. The only Marshalls here are up in that approximate area, and my sister agreed we could try one on the way back down.

After some trouble with rush hour traffic, we finally got to the place and I went in to look around. I was really impressed with the store; it looks really upscale, even though it's a discount place. I wish Mom could see it; I think she'd love it as much as I do now. I couldn't find the doll, but I did find the big Twilight Sparkle figure. I'd just been thinking about her and that she wasn't in stores any more. I had wanted the original unicorn one and had not paid attention to the winged version, but I finally knew I'd never get the unicorn one since she's rare and expensive now and I was willing to get the winged one. When I saw her at Marshalls for $10, I figured I'd better snap her up.

We headed back to where we'd left our car at the church. We got off the freeway too early and started wandering around. Even though I saw street signs that said we were not in the right town, my sister didn't believe it. We wandered around some more as it got dark and ended up in yet another wrong town. Finally we all saw a sign proclaiming the name of the place and my sister believed we were lost. She didn't know how to work the Google Maps app, but the directions were still programmed into it from that morning as to how to get to the church. So she brought that up, followed them, and finally we were able to get back to the car.

I suppose I really should have just said for us to go home then, since we'd been out eight-nine hours at that point. But since we hardly ever get out that far and there were sales I needed to see about right then or they'd be kerplunk, I could hardly bear the thought of just going home then. I really tried to hurry regardless, but it didn't work out that way.

We also tried finding some stuff Mom wanted for Christmas presents, but we didn't have any luck finding stuff for the adults. We did get the stuff she wanted for the kids, so that was good.

I checked T.J. Maxx and Ross for the doll and still didn't find her, so then it was on to Toys R Us. They had a 30% off sale on all Pony stuff, and I thought I'd planned I'd get the archery Applejack and that would be that, but when I actually got in there and everything was on sale, suddenly it wasn't an easy decision. I debated for ages over several things I'd wanted, couldn't decide, and then we had to rush to the mall to see about the Build-a-Bear discounts. I had discounts adding up to $15 off, plus there was a 2 for $35 sale on. Both of my discounts worked with that, which meant I could get two for $20! Naturally I couldn't pass that up. I'd planned to get Zecora and Teegan (the purple cat/tiger) if I could get two, so that was what I did. It was fun and the girls were so friendly and sweet and fun. And since Teegan comes with a tank top (as well as sewn-on underwear), I found some cheap swim trunks for her to wear at least for now. Maybe later I'll have money to get her a nice outfit, but right then I just wanted to clothe her good enough and save more money for other things. But it took a lot longer to get two than I'd planned on; it was about thirty-forty minutes later when I got back to Toys R Us.

During the interim I thought I'd decided what to get at Toys R Us, the two-pack with Twilight and Flash. But every single copy Toys R Us had featured a stray glitter problem. It was shedding off of Twilight's skirt and getting everywhere. That didn't seem appealing at all, so I wondered if I'd rather get the characters separately and buy a Twilight without that skirt. I turned my attention more fully to the two-pack I'd tried to get in the summer, with Sonata and Aria from the second movie. There were only two copies of those, they're phasing out, and with the sale they were only $13.99. That was definitely the best deal. (Well, actually, the best deal was Photo Finish and her two band members, but I don't really know those characters other than Photo Finish herself. They don't even have any dialogue.) So I preferred Sonata and Aria. I still debated for a moment, feeling guilty as always to get antagonists, but I knew I really wanted them. They bicker like sisters, which makes me have a certain fondness for them. Plus, I knew I probably wouldn't be able to find the set before long. And I have a chance to get the Adagio doll from someone on the forum, so I wanted to have the other girls in the band right ready in case I could. It would be too sad not to have the whole group.

(Also, I have plans for a story where Sunset finds them post-movie and tries to extend friendship to them. One thing I did like in the book version of the second movie was that she felt some pity for them. I can definitely picture that, since Sunset had some similar goals of wanting to be popular/well-liked.)

With that taken care of at last, I wanted to just try one more Wal-Mart looking for Sunset Shimmer. (We'd tried one around the time we got the stuff for Mom.) That was a fizzle, of course. We had planned to try one more store looking for DVDs for the adults, but it was so late by then and I was exhausted and panicking, knowing Mom would be so upset and worried that it was taking so long. So we went home, arriving over twelve hours after leaving home. GAH. Mom didn't like the long time we'd been gone one bit, but she did like seeing what I'd brought back and was happy I'd been able to get those items, so that made me feel a little better.

I felt awful that I was too exhausted to stay up for long with Ladyamberjo and JP, though. That's the night I chat with them and Ladyamberjo and I have had all kinds of trouble having a conversation the last several weeks. And of course, on the night when Ladyamberjo tried extra hard to be available and awake, I'm so tired I'm falling over in the chair.

With weather reports of storms coming up this week, we decided we needed to look for the other DVDs on Tuesday. That was just two towns over. We left earlier than we do sometimes and spent the latter part of the afternoon checking out the DVDs at K-Mart and ShopKo. I also discovered that K-Mart's two-packs of Twilight and Flash are glitter-free and gorgeous, so I'm back to wanting the two-pack again and not to get the characters separately. I wonder if it would be worth paying full-price for it to get a nice glitter-free one.

I still couldn't find Sunset Shimmer, but I did at last find a good Scootaloo at Wal-Mart! All legs were the same length and her face wasn't shaped weird (yes, those are problems with Funrise sometimes), so I decided I should get her.

Also, I very randomly saw the 12-inch Applebloom at ShopKo. It was frustrating, because from a distance I momentarily thought she was Sunset. Sigh. But it was interesting to see a rare character turn up at ShopKo, of all places. ShopKo doesn't even have any Friendship Games dolls yet! I wonder if seeing her is possibly a good sign. Scootaloo just started showing up last month, and now an Applebloom.... Maybe, possibly, Sunset will still come? I don't hold out much hope of that, though. And I still wish I had taken that person up on her offer to get one for me in the summer. I was worried about shipping costs and I was fully convinced back then that we were just about to get her for fall stock. And then we didn't.

Well, anyway, we had some good luck with the DVDs, and I got a couple of Christmas presents, and it was a pretty nice little outing. We got back in time for me to chat with Crystal.

I also had good luck with one of my survey companies and got an Amazon gift card again already! I got a couple more Christmas presents with it, as well some more Get Smart for myself. Hopefully it will arrive in time for me to send one of the presents on and have it arrive before Christmas....

I also discovered that I need to watch every episode of The Persuaders!, ohmygoshsquee. It's wonderful! I plan to buy the DVD set with my next gift card. Meantime, I found it on YouTube and watched an episode in the morning. The friendship between the main characters is glorious, and it's even more awesome because they start out hating each other, and they go from that to really caring about each other and being really close friends. It's such a shame it only ran one season. It should satisfy my Roger Moore withdrawal nicely. I love his character, and the friendship with Tony Curtis's character, and I won't be surprised if I want to write fanfic somewhere down the line. As much as I love Simon Templar, he's a loner, and it's harder for me to relate to writing for loners if they don't have one good friend or family member to interact with. And if they're the only steady character in the cast. Then they work better in crossover fics. I really love to write about friendships. (Plus, I still worry about the fact that I prefer the TV show Simon while the few fanficcers prefer the book Simon. I'm still going to write that one fic with Simon appearing to be dead and Inspector Teal reacting to it, though. Then it flashes back to tell what led up to it, comes back to the present, and of course Simon will be alright when the drug wears off.)

I also became obsessed with the song Little Talks by Of Monsters and Men. It's absolutely haunting and gorgeous. I'm thrilled Ladyamberjo found that song and shared it with me! I am totally going to want to write a fic based around it at some point, although right now I'm unsure what characters such a fic would involve. I'd also like to sing it, but I don't know how well it would go over if I tried recording me singing it, since it really does need to be a duet.

So I just found out Martin Milner died on the 6th. He was 83. I had no idea he was in his 80's. He lived a good, long, full life, but dang, it's still so sad to lose him.

I think I want to watch Adam-12 tonight. Maybe Route 66 too. I like Adam-12 the best, but both shows are great and Martin is great in them.

I am frustrated. I want to be able to go to the store each week when we get groceries. I'll still get to go to Wal-Mart, but Dad went to two of the other stores earlier when he went to the hardware store.

Of course, something went wrong even though he only gets a few items at those places. I'm the one who selects almost all of the food we buy, so even though he actually purchases it, if I'm not there he usually gets the wrong thing on several counts.

Plus, I'd been looking forward all week to going to the non-chain grocery store and reading an article in a magazine they have about Sailor Moon. I tried to read it on Wednesday, but we were in too much of a rush. Hopefully Wal-Mart will have that magazine, but they might not.

It really doesn't save time to go to the other stores without me, though. We'll just have to go back to Smith's to get the right kind of food as well as some other stuff we need that I'd planned to get there, and oh gosh, I just remembered that we've been having to buy some of our juice at the non-chain grocery store because Wal-Mart doesn't have any of the cranberry kinds right now and Smith's is too expensive. I bet he forgot to get a can of cranberry juice at the non-chain grocery store when he was there, so we'll probably have to go back there again! That would put me with the magazine, but oh for goodness sake. Why, why, why. It would have made so much more sense to just wait for me and go to all the stores at once, like usual.

And then I hear about Robin Williams dying today. Only 63, oh gosh. And they think it was suicide. I honestly can't believe that, not when he was planning so many projects. It must have been an accident.

Robin Williams was not a strong part of my childhood, as he was for some. I honestly haven't even seen Aladdin (although I have a graphic novel version I loved as a kid). Nor have I seen Mork and Mindy. But I did see and enjoy some of his movies. It's very strange and sad, even surreal, to think that he's already gone.

Plus, they say celebrity deaths happen in threes. Well, Robin is about the fourth major one just in the past several months. I hope that doesn't mean it's the start of another three. Four for this year is way too many as it is.

I hadn't been terribly affected by the news of Robin's death when I first read it, but as it really sinks in, it's definitely getting to me more. It certainly does nothing for my already-frustrated mood.

It's so sad we're losing so many greats. And it's even worse when they go so young. No one should die at 63.

Very saddened by Casey Kasem's death this past day. Although I didn't grow up with him as Crystal and many others did, I longed to be able to see Scooby-Doo for years before I was finally able to. And JP made me a couple of tapes of the Top 40 show. I was thinking I should get those out again for a listen.

Crystal mused in her post how Casey was somewhat responsible for her interest in the Monkees, due to the Davy Jones episode of Scooby-Doo. Meanwhile, I've mused many times how The Monkees are responsible for almost all of my current interests. How in the world did that happen? Behold:

- Because of The Monkees, episode 25, Alias Micky Dolenz, I became interested in Jimmy Murphy, who played Tony Ferano.

- Because of that, I started looking up all of his roles and finally decided to try Kolchak: The Night Stalker, a show I'd been idly curious about for years.

- Because of that, I got interested in Simon Oakland, whom I knew years before from Perry Mason, West Side Story, and I Want to Live!, although I hadn't taken note of his name.

- Because of that, I got back into Perry Mason while watching Simon's episodes.

- Because of that, I rediscovered my interest in Hamilton Burger/William Talman and added Wesley Lau (from I Want to Live! too), Richard Anderson (from The Student Prince), and H.M. Wynant (from a Nancy Drew episode; see icon) to my list of interests.

- Because of them and Simon (and Darren), I got around to trying The Wild Wild West, The Virginian, The Man from U.N.C.L.E., Cannon, Mannix, Mission: Impossible, The Six Million Dollar Man, The Bionic Woman, and other shows that I liked enough to start watching religiously.

- Because of WWW, I discovered Christopher Cary.

- Because of that, I watched The Rockford Files and discovered Luke Andreas.

- Meanwhile, while watching Mannix, I finally tried season 1 and discovered Joseph Campanella.

All thanks to The Monkees.

For the past several weeks I've been involved in a new role-play, and for a great deal of those weeks, my RP partner has been detailing her favorite character's fever in every particular. I've ended up realizing some more things about myself and my own tastes along hurt/comfort lines.

My favorite hurt/comfort scenarios still seem to be knockouts and/or characters being thought dead. But where it comes to knockouts, I only seem to like things done semi-realistically. I don't generally go the old media way of having a character wake up and be perfectly fine; they usually are dizzy and have a bad headache for a while. Sometimes there's concern of a concussion, although I usually don't actually have there be one.

But sometimes I will have a character get up and walk around, even with a headache. Depends on how bad the knock was (and the kind of mood I'm in at the time). On the other hand, I once ran across a paramedic who said that when people wake up from a bad hit on the head, they tend to throw up everywhere. Blech! And that is one bit of reality I'm never going to input.

I also realized that in general, I have very little interest in detailing every particular of a fever, illness, and/or recovery. (And I've discovered that I'm extremely grossed out by copious amounts of sweat. Ewww. I abhor sweating in real-life and feel filthy when I do, so I guess it's not a surprise it would extend to fictional scenarios.) Some of my lack of interest may be because characters usually end up in the hospital and I figure the staff is taking care of most of that, rather than the characters' family or friends. And I have very little interest in writing a lot of interaction with the staff.

Some of it may be that when I do things like that, even where the character's family or friends are the ones helping, I quickly lose interest. That old Detective Conan fic I was trying to work out kind of followed a plot like that and I soon got lost on how to help the character recover. And I felt like I was going in circles, repeating the same sorts of scenes over and over.

Usually, if a character is bad off enough that recovery will be long, I skip over that part of it and just summarize a few bits here and there. I did that with my Alamo fic, because the main point of that fic was the interaction between Emil Sande and Graciela after Emil recovered. I still wonder if I did the right thing there, though. I went back and added another segment, a sweeping look at Emil's recovery through Emil's eyes as his attitude towards people began to change over time. But I kept feeling (and kind of still feel) like I should have detailed his recovery in every particular, even though I didn't want to and felt that it would deviate from the main point of the fic.

I mentioned a few things about Micky's recovery in my Return of Baby Face Morales fic, but there again, it didn't play a big part in the overall storyline because the details of the recovery weren't important to the fic's plot. (And I wasn't really interested in detailing everything, either.)

Part of me wonders: If I don't like detailing recoveries in every particular, can I really call myself a hurt/comfort fan?

And another part of me answers: Yes; just a different breed of one.

I love writing character interaction and I enjoy one character emotionally comforting another one, but if it's a long-term thing like in the Detective Conan fic, I can't seem to do that very long. I like writing scenes of emotional comfort, but not to have the character so broken that a whole fic is required to heal them. (Except in special cases; I liked that fic where Bakura tries to help Yami Bakura recover from being tortured by Yami Marik, although there again, I'm not sure if I wrote it that well.)

I like writing a character helping an injured character to limp along, get in or out of the shower, and treat wounds and burns. But if I were to detail in every particular, I would also need to have them redress the wounds every day, and I realized I wouldn't have any interest in writing that out every time, either. Maybe once or twice, but not more.

I suppose in one way, I'm not sure if this will come out making sense, but I often like instant gratification with my hurt/comfort scenarios, such as the knockouts. But if I were to be completely realistic, it would probably take a while to really recover from those, and I hence wouldn't have much interest in writing a knockout if I was being completely realistic.

Then there's angst fests. A few weeks ago I was musing over the idea of an amnesia fic with Ray, Lafe, and Coley. I figured Ray or Coley would be the victim, and I test-wrote a scene where it was Coley. I realized that I didn't want to write a fic where it was either of them. I could tell just from that scene that a fic would depress me and burn me out.

And that's the way I feel about a lot of angst fest fics lately. Even if I know they'll end well, I don't seem to like writing all the heartache to get there, except in certain cases. In some other cases, for both fics and role-plays, I've almost always felt like I didn't want to do certain plotlines because I felt they'd drag out too long and I'd be depressed with the Hell the characters would be going through all along the way. Sometimes I can be convinced to do the scenarios anyway, and sometimes I end up liking them once I'm into them. Other times, I never do quite come around to them, although I can't think of any specific examples off-hand. And sometimes I don't like reading big angst fest fics, at least unless they're already finished, because it's agonizing reading about the characters in such torture and wondering when it will end for them.

But so, with all that in mind, why in the world do I still like scenarios where a character is thought dead? I think that ties back in with my life-long fascination of death, which is also something I can't fully explain and I know it sounds morbid. And I think I like it mainly for the utter, unmatchable joy of being reunited with the character, alive and well. (Although I also like exploring the grief process for different characters and how they handle it and interact with each other because of it.)

I think to some extent, that's where my relish of knockout scenes stems from, too. That Little Audrey cartoon where she thought she killed the bird and it was only knocked out and revived really has had a huge impact on me ever since I saw it when I was five-ish. I used to write hurt/comfort scenes in my mind where a character was knocked out and thought dead by other characters. Eventually they would revive and there would be much squee.

When I moved to fics and role-plays, I realized quickly that except in serious circumstances, a knocked out character would not be thought dead for more than a minute or two. And so sometimes, if I wanted an extended scene, I would do a form of a fairytale-ish enchanted death that could be broken by any show of true love, not just romantic. Usually there would be no real explanation for the Disney death (something that exasperated some of my past RP partners, haha), but Hamilton got a very big explanation for his in The Broken Ties fic. It was expressly stated to be part of the villainess's plan to put him into a state like that.

These days, I try not to rely on Disney death scenes very often, and when I do have one, it's sometimes a case like Hamilton's.

Bottom line: I am a hurt/comfort fan, but I think I have a mindset far stranger than the great majority of us. Although I suppose that each H/C fan has particular quirks about what they like and dislike and why.

We certainly are an interesting breed in fandoms.

I had occasion to see about thirty minutes of Disney's A Christmas Carol from two years ago. I've always been curious about it, but haven't got around to watching it. That remains the case for most Disney movies from 1997 on. I can probably count the Disney films I've seen that were made after that on one hand.

Anyway, I've heard that it's quite dark in places and sticks very close to the original Dickens text, bringing out some things that he wrote that are generally not portrayed in the film adaptions.

That holds true to the thirty minutes I saw. I was quite intrigued and in love with it. The animation is simply amazing.

However, I did take issue with one thing. During Marley's visit, when he screeches "Business! Mankind was my business!" there was a stupid bit of dead people humor: he screamed so ferociously that his jaw became quite unhinged and fell on his chest. He had to work to get it back in place and could not, so he had to manually move it for a while. Then he got things terribly out of order again and couldn't speak at all. It was all played for humor and was very irritating. It completely broke the seriousness of the moment, and of that important speech!

I went looking in the original Dickens text to see what happened there. To my surprise, there was a similar issue earlier on in the visit. However, it was quite different in that the literal jaw-dropping happened when Marley removed that bandage around his head. The implication was that he knew it would happen and it was a deliberate action, perhaps as he tried to further demonstrate his current state to Scrooge. It was played for horror in the book, adding to the seriousness of the scene, and it was not extensively dwelt on at all.

Anyway, I'll admit it rather turned me off in the movie. I'd still like to see the rest of it, but I don't know that I'd want to buy it. I hate that kind of dead people humor. I hated it in the movie Anastasia; I felt it completely ruined a beautiful film. And it ruined the scene in the Christmas Carol movie. Marley's visit is one of my most favorite parts because of the friendship squee of Marley wanting to help Scrooge avoid his own fate. There's a book out this year about Marley and I am dying to read it. I'm sure it will treat things in the serious manner that it should.

So, moving on, and in complete contrast, I want to absolutely squee about something. I've meant to post about this for the last couple of days. I've been watching both Dragnets lately, the 1950s version and the 1960s version. I love them both dearly. I used to think that the 60s one just wouldn't be the same without Frank Smith as Joe's partner, but then I saw the 60s version and loved Bill Gannon too. (It doesn't hurt that he's played by Harry Morgan, an actor I've been a fan of for years and years.)

This week has been only the second time I've seen the 1950s Dragnet after watching a lot of the 1960s version. And I remember how awesome Frank Smith is too. I'd forgotten a bit, with the awesomeness of Bill Gannon.

And the 1950s Dragnet has probably the most intense, heart-wrenching, and friendship squeeable episode of both versions. It's called The Big Frank, from season 2. (All episodes in the 1950s version were "The Big ..." something.) Frank ends up shot during a case and Joe has to finish out the case on his own, while not knowing if Frank is even going to live.

I wasn't expecting the shooting at all; I think I literally jumped when the criminal started shooting and Frank went down. And something else I expected every bit as little was Joe's reaction. I did expect him to be utterly furious at the creep, which he was. But he also shows an absolutely adorable, heartbreaking soft side that I didn't imagine I would ever see from the stoic, serious Joe Friday.

At the hospital he keeps wanting to look in on Frank and asks the doctor more than once if he couldn't just look in one moment. The doctor refuses. And the most heart-shattering line is when Joe says, either to the doctor or his lady friend, or both, that if anything happens to Frank he doesn't know what he'll do. He's so vulnerable in that scene! It comes through so well how close they are and how much Joe cares about Frank. It adds a whole new dimension to Joe's personality.

I am just in love with the episode. I say everyone who loves friendships in shows should watch The Big Frank, even if they've never seen Dragnet and/or have no interest in it!

What are you listening to right now?
Ruslan und Ludmilla Overture.

What song(s) make(s) you sad?
It really depends on my mood. Songs about death can make me sad, but sometimes they just make me somber and contemplative. Hmm.... Oh, Forgiven from the new Battlestar Galactica usually makes me sad or melancholy. It's beautiful, but it makes me think of cemeteries because I was looking at cemetery pictures and writing a deathfic when I first heard it.

What is the most annoying song in the world?
Any Christmas song by Christina Aguilera.

Your all time favorite musicians?
Rockapella will always be very special to me, especially now that I've rediscovered them. And the 4 Seasons and the Monkees. Also, Evanescence (I'm so excited for the new album! I hope it comes out next month like it's supposed to), Within Temptation, and Nightwish. And for instrumental composers, John Williams and Howard Shore. Danny Elfman is pretty good too.

Your newly discovered musician is?
Not really newly-discovered, but thanks to Garowyn, I know enough of Blackmore's Night that I bought a CD of theirs at the Scottish Festival last month. I love it. I was particularly attracted to it because it has the song I Guess It Doesn't Matter Anymore, the title of which I took for my phantom hitchhiker fic.

Best female voice?
My favorite female voice is Sharon den Adel, lead singer of Within Temptation. She is *amazing*. Her range is incredible and her voice is so ethereal. Close runner-ups would be Amy Lee of Evanescence and local artist Allyse Smith-Taylor.

Best male voice?
Oddly enough, this one is harder for me. Most of the bands I listen to have female singers. And I'm not sure which one of the many beautiful Rockapella voices to single out. In the end, though, maybe Scott Leonard. But I always have a certain loyalty to Sean Altman, too. And I love Mike Nesmith's songs so much.

Music type you find yourself listening to most?
Right now, classical, anime music, or rock.

What do you listen to, to hype you up?
Cheery anime songs or energetic classical pieces.

What do you listen to when you want to calm down?
Quieter songs, sometimes religious, sometimes friendship, sometimes instrumental. EDIT: Oddly enough, if I'm in a certain frustrated and angry mood, quiet songs only make me more frustrated. Sometimes I need to listen to something rock in order to calm down enough to listen to quieter songs.

Last gig/concert you went to?
Rockapella, last August. It was awesome. X3

Band you find yourself listening to the most right now?
Really none. Mostly I've been listening to individual artists or classical.

Most hated band?
**shrugs.** I can't really think of a band I detest. I could much easier tell about individual artists. I can't stand the aforementioned Christina Aguilera's singing style at all.

Song that makes you think?
Anything by Within Temptation or Nightwish. Their songs are so deep.

Band that you think the world should love as much as you do?
Within Temptation! But finally they're getting some of the recognition they deserve. At last, it's easy to buy their albums in the States!

Coolest music video?
I really loved the one Within Temptation did for Memories, but watching it recently I felt really sad. It's still an amazing video, though. Actually, I think that even more since it evoked such emotion in me. The one they did for Angels is pretty cool, too, though the wings look fake. LOL. But soft!

EDIT: And as Aubrie pointed out, Michael Jackson's video for Smooth Criminal must be mentioned. I like both versions of it, though the edited one is my favorite overall because the full-length one seemed to have a lot of moments of pointless exclaiming by the audience and whatnot. I was really amused by the little boy in the full version, though. LOL.

Can you play a musical instrument?
I can play piano. I've wanted to play guitar, but it keeps confusing me. Plus, it makes my already-sensitive fingers hurt. XD;

Are you in a band?
No.

Do you wish yourself that you were a musician?
I want to be a singer.

Best chick band you know of?
The Ronettes. Totally random there. But I love when their Christmas songs are played during the holidays. XD;

Last song that you heard on the radio/CD, etc?
What I'm still listening to.

What do you think of Classical music?
It's amazing! I was raised on it, and always loved certain pieces, but it was only through Princess Tutu that I fully embraced my love of the genre.

What do you think of Country music?
I used to listen to it religiously. Those old country songs I heard back in the day still make me extremely nostalgic.

What do you think of metal?
I do not like heavy metal, nor do I understand why a couple of bands I like are classed as metal. Well, it's more understandable with Nightwish, but with Within Temptation I fully believe they never get harder than hard rock.

Last BIG band that you saw live?
If Rockapella is considered big, then them. If not, the oldies bands I saw ten years ago: The Shangri-Las, The Grass Roots, The Association, and of course ... Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. I also saw Micky Dolenz, by himself.

Do you listen to music in foreign languages?
Heck yes. Mostly in Japanese.

Funny concert moment?
Rockapella last year, when I wanted Zombie Jamboree and someone else wanted People Change, and Rockapella didn't want to do People Change:

Scott: Zombie Jamboree isn't depressing at all; it's just about dead people.

LOL.

And then Kevin did the customary halt of singing during the bridge and doubled over. Someone asked what was wrong and he gasped, "I swallowed a bug." LOLOLOL. The bugs were a running joke in that concert.

Best local act you can think of?
Cherie Call.

Do you listen to the radio?
Only during the Christmas season.

Do you watch music TV?
We don't get music channels.

Do you follow the music charts, like the top 40?
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a darn.

Have you met any famous musicians?
Yes, Rockapella. ^^ I wanted to talk to Frankie Valli, but he didn't do a meet and greet.

Are any of your friends/family/etc. musicians?
Some of them dabble in it.

Song that best describes your feelings right now?
Some song about being tired.

Do you know the names of all the band members that you listen to?
Mostly. I don't admittedly know the names of all the people in Within Temptation and Evanescence. The Evanescence people keep changing too, which doesn't help. LOL. I know all the singers in the bands, though. But I keep forgetting Tarja's replacement's name in Nightwish.

Does a musician’s physical attractiveness play a role in the music that you listen to?
Certainly not.

Favorite movie sound track?
The Lord of the Rings and Star Wars movies.

What do your parents listen to?
Religious music and classical. Mom likes oldies, too.

What are you listening to right now?
Still what I was listening to when I started this.

Do you wear band T-shirts?
I've always wanted an Evanescence T-shirt, but I couldn't find them when I looked in Hot Topic. Someday maybe I'll buy on their website. But I hate paying S&H charges!

Do you cook to music?
I sing a lot in the kitchen. And at Christmastime, the radio is usually on.