Ramblings and Musings of the Insane, Philosophical Ladybug

Made a few new icons the other day, when I realized The Disappearing Declaration was a season 1 episode with high enough quality that the icons would probably be good. This is my favorite, although I wish I could have gotten Barry in there a little better. But this one still does better than my last attempt, I think, to get them all in fairly equally. And Sean still gets highlighted as lead singer. Awesome.

Yesterday I finally got to go in to use the birthday coupon at Build-a-Bear and I bought the bat plushie. I didn't have enough money to get the cat right then, and anyway, after Halloween the bat will be gone but the cat will still be there. And the bat is so cute! Probably the cutest bat plushie ever made. I had the oddest urge to name her Milly, and yes, it had to be with a Y. So that is what her birth certificate says.

For some weird reason, earlier in the month I was muddledly thinking that bats were rodents and naturally I didn't want any rodent plushie after this summer's disaster. (Note that I still love Mickey Mouse and any other cartoon rodents I previously liked, however. In general, they behave more like people than rodents. Heh.) I'm assuming the misconception is because Batman is sometimes called a rodent by the villains in the 1960s show. But so I Googled "Are bats rodents" and went "... Well, duh, what's the matter with me" at the information that they are not and that was the first step to feeling okay about a bat plushie. Anyway, too, I've cosplayed Rouge the Bat three times and I love Batman, so a bat plushie rather makes sense for me, doesn't it?

Also, at Build-a-Bear I was thrilled to see the online exclusives Zecora and Shining Armor! I didn't have enough money to get one of them, and anyway, I had my heart set on the bat, but I hope I'll have the chance to get them both now that I don't have to buy them online! I was so excited to see them there!

I also had a coupon for half off something at Jo-Ann's, so we went there and I found that the doll I'd put away in the back in hopes of buying it when I wasn't broke was still there, so I bought it. It will become Barry. I just hope I can find a decent doll wig. It's bizarre that I can't find a simple brown shoulder-length doll wig.

Then I've been contacted by a sweet girl who really loves my Detective Conan fics and especially my Gin/Sherry stuff. She was hoping I could finish Snow White Queen. I doubt I ever will, which I told her, but I told her how I planned for it to end and I let her see an unfinished chapter I'd apparently started years ago, and she was happy with those things.

When I was trying to help her, I ended up re-reading what I have of that fic and pondering on things regarding it and how it happened. The whole idea of Gin/Sherry is twisted to begin with, and then I was trying to figure out how to turn that twisted mess into something that could be happy for both of them. That happened mainly because when I was scoffing at the idea that the pairing could ever be anything but twisted, someone (Claude, I believe) talked to me about different possibilities that could make it end up happy. And I was curious and interested and decided to take up the challenge, so I started writing various things with them, liked it, and eventually started work on Snow White Queen.

I have to admit, I do think it's written fairly well, but it's very strange seeing me try to take the twisted canon information and make something positive out of it. I suppose maybe it's possible, especially considering those characters' backgrounds (both canon and what I invented to flesh out their pasts), but I am still pretty skeptical that it could work realistically.

It's interesting that what started as an experiment became something I genuinely loved and was enthused about. I think I always struggled a bit, though, and I think that's why the story trailed off. I just wasn't sure how to get them from Point A to Point C. Point B baffled me. That didn't stop me from writing stuff after they get to Point C, but I really needed to show how it happened and that problem stopped me in my tracks.

I used to write a lot of darker stuff that handled twisted situations, twisted characters, etc. etc. It wasn't just Detective Conan, but some of the psychological horror fics I did for YGO and maybe other categories. I think a lot of the reason why I did it was because I was encouraged and I really liked the praise I was getting. It was fun to impress people and have them feel like I was smart and deep. But I don't know, I don't feel like writing twisted things was really me. Or maybe it was me then. Eventually I got tired and worn-out and didn't want to play in many of those fields anymore. Maybe I stopped wanting to impress people so much. I still want them to like what I write, but that's not as much of my drive as it used to be.

I'm still tired. Mostly now I just want to write fun things or hurt/comfort. That doesn't mean I don't like deep subjects or exploring how characters' minds tick; that's still a lot of how my stories run. But I don't think I'm really into dealing with twisted stuff like figuring out how to make a positive relationship when the canon is Gin being possessive and sadistic towards Sherry (and of course, Sherry hating him). Somehow in the "after Point C" stories I actually did manage to get them to a more normal place where Gin wasn't sadistic and Sherry wasn't hateful and Gin's possessiveness was softened a bit into more protectiveness. And I know it probably all sounds terrible and like a bad fanfic from what I'm describing. It actually isn't as bad in actual fact; it's certainly not like Twilight or 50 Shades of Grey or something that tries to make it look like the bad stuff is okay. And it's not hearts and rainbows and suddenly everybody is good, wheeee. It's more the characters being able to gradually get past the bad things and grow and mature into better people. But I'm skeptical it could ever really happen in a situation like theirs and I don't think it's a place I want to explore again.

Some of the characters I write for are still somewhat twisted, though, like Ginger. And it certainly took a lot of pondering and struggling to try to figure out how to make it make sense that Lou could both care about Mike and forgive Ginger for shooting him. I think my essay approached the problem from all possible angles the episode hinted at and presented every possible answer. The difference with those characters is that, more unlike Gin and Vodka (or Baby Face and his gang), I do have them try to go straight. They're still antiheroes/unconventional heroes and don't like to get involved in trouble if they can at all avoid it, and Ginger can be dark and vengeful, but mostly what I write about them is cute slice-of-life, conversational fics, and mysteries and hurt/comfort.

And then there's Ecks and Wye, who are in the same sort of situation as Gin and Vodka from Detective Conan regarding employment. (I do, however, try to soften it a bit with the implied idea that Ecks and Wye are in it for the spying part and go after other spies and don't have much, if anything, to do with going after innocent civilians. I also tried to make Ecks a little sympathetic with the idea that he grew up in the organization and couldn't get out, same as I did with Gin, actually....) I honestly probably wouldn't even be interested in them if not for two factors: Ecks is played by darling Christopher Cary and Wye absolutely flipped after finding Ecks stabbed, indicating they were very close. I was immediately intrigued. Actually, the idea of interaction between Gin and Vodka is how I got interested in writing for them, too. But I did keep them with the Black Org and carrying out missions, at least until I developed that Snow White Queen timeline where they and Sherry escape to make a new life elsewhere. With Ecks and Wye's situation, were they to survive their episode, they would very likely have to run for their lives to avoid being killed as traitors to the extremist organization. Which is how I approached that. I wouldn't exactly say they're going straight now, but they are trying to avoid getting in trouble with the law.

The Riddler is in the same situation. I didn't really want to have him completely straight, and he's certainly an unconventional hero in that he's most interested in matching wits with his opponents rather than bringing crooks to justice, but if they're so heinous that even The Riddler is upset by them, then he will go after them for the purpose of bringing them to justice. Of course, since he probably always will be at least a little twisted, his justice would include making them play through one of his complex, booby-trapped mazes. But they would survive; I actually question whether any of the traps set by The Batman's Riddler would kill or if it was only a tease. (Yes, maybe even the bombs were set up in a way that wouldn't have killed Gorman. Possibly. I debate over that because The Riddler wanted Gorman to really experience failure, so maybe he would want to keep Gorman alive to experience it for a good, long while. On the other hand, maybe he wanted Gorman's last thoughts of be of his failure and then the bombs would kill. I just don't know. But anyway....) He seems like the type who might tease, especially considering his first appearance on the show. Batman: The Animated Series' Riddler sets traps to kill, but he is a completely different character.

And then there's Snakes, oh boy. With him, though, he really is trying to go straight. But he's selfish and cowardly and in most verses, is struggling to learn about friendship. I have so much fun developing him everywhere.

I dunno; thinking on things in these lights, I definitely still do a lot with criminal-type characters (even though sometimes I just want more true-blue heroes, like the ACME characters). And even though, yes, I do like reforming them when possible, I always try to keep their personalities intact, especially if they're wild cards. I think the reason why I'm more burned-out on Detective Conan stuff is Gin's specific personality, the absolute twisted mess of the Gin/Sherry pairing, and the fact of not particularly being into writing about enemy assassins at work in their organization. Well, and the fact that I was never comfortable with the series' basic premise. It took me ages to feel like trying it at all, and after playing in the waters for a while, I don't think I'll go back. That doesn't mean I won't, though. I sometimes end up doing a lot of things I hadn't planned on doing again.

Like writing Carmen fics, heh. But I do love the semi-fictional Rockapella and I just couldn't stay away. Once Crystal's enthusiasm started us both on a second renaissance, it didn't take long and we both started writing fics again. And we haven't shied away from hurt/comfort, either, heh. And not just with the Dying Informant character, either. However, I do think the stories are a little more mild this time around, anyway, even mine.

Sometimes it's fun writing about more true-blue hero characters rather than antiheroes/unconventional heroes. They aren't just blandly good guys; they have a lot of personality and they struggle with things too. Not all deep things have to involve dark and twisted characters and situations.

I guess it all depends on my mood. But even though I did kind of like looking at that old Detective Conan fic, and feel a little sad it will probably never be finished, I still doubt that it ever will be.

That said, my romantic side does still like the idea of the "After Point C" stories where Gin/Sherry are a thing. And I still love the things that others made for me regarding the pairing.

Since we seem to have caught all the mice except the elusive bugger that was in Dad's room (and may now be in the living room), we're trying to commence some of the cleaning of the rooms hit hardest. We have door sweeps all around now and have been keeping doors closed to protect the rooms from more trouble. In some ways, it looks like Mom's room isn't as bad as we feared; in other ways, there are still going to be problems, not all of them mouse-related.

Mom's been worried to have her best clothes go in the washer because it keeps sporadically emitting some kind of black grease streaks on various articles of clothing. Dad thought he had fixed the problem, but ... I'm afraid he hasn't, not unless one of the things I washed tonight was also washed before he fixed the problem and acquired streaking then. **headdesk.** More likely, it happened tonight, especially since it looks like a second article of clothing might have a bit of it too. I am seriously dreading telling Mom about this.... And seriously wondering what we're going to do. There are lots of clothes in the closet that need washing in order to complete the cleaning, and if the washer is emitting grease, how can we wash them? And Dad probably won't want to believe there's still a problem....

I found the blue blouse I wanted to use for my Twilight costume and tried it on after I washed it. It's a little tight. Not uncomfortably, but the buttons are strained a bit. It's so frustrating to not be able to fit into clothes I once could.... I'll probably still use it, because it's so perfect, but ugggh.

A direct casualty of the mouse problem was a cardboard box that had originally been used as a house for the Turtles figures. I remember when I was a kid and Mom had the fun idea to make a house out of a box. We did that, and we made partitions and fit wrapping paper around as wallpaper and carpet.... In recent years it became a box to store things in Mom's room, but it still had the original features of the house. I salvaged the upstairs floor, which was protected inside, but the box itself had to go because the mouse did its thing on the roof. Ugggh. I was very sad to lose that piece of my childhood, but there wasn't anything else to do.

(Also, the Rockapella paper dolls Mom made for me are still AWOL and I've been afraid now that if I do find them, it will be my rotten luck that they'll be more casualties.)

And I had to store some of my stuff in Mom's room because I don't have room for it here. At the old house I had several places to put my stuff, but here it's largely crammed into one room, so some stuff had to remain in boxes, like my dolls. I always liked plushies better, but that doesn't mean I didn't love my dolls. (Baby/little girl and boy dolls, with the occasional Barbie, etc. I am not referring to dolls I've collected in more recent years, like Sailor Moon dolls. Those I have on display.) I was relieved that the mice hadn't been into the box, but saddened to see that some of the dolls have not weathered the passage of time well. One of them had some plastic age spots on her face; several others have plastic turning odd colors. And a plastic tote one doll is in is suffering plasticizer leakage. I felt a little like crying, honestly; suddenly it felt like such a long-ago era that I was looking upon and I thought of Mom's sadness when her childhood dolls suffered ill fates. (Far worse than mine, and I'm glad I still have mine with me.) I think she only has one left now, a bridal doll that's been stored with mine. She is actually in better condition than some of mine! And I felt sad that the dolls have been boxed ever since we moved here. They used to be on the top two shelves where I keep some books now. I wish I had room for everything in here....

I did have fun playing house and such with my dolls sometimes. I'd pretend they were all a big family. There are maybe 11-ish non-Barbie size big dolls; it's been a while since I've counted. I think what amused me the most was when I gave ridiculous names to some of the dolls. I still find that fairly hilarious. LOL. One of my oldest dolls, in a red and yellow dress, is Table. One in pink and white overalls is Chair. One in a blue jumpsuit is Picture. **snerk.** I think they had more conventional names once, but it just didn't stick; I wanted the funny ones. Thankfully, I think all the others have normal names. One is named after the half-sibling I'm the closest to.

The same day I discovered the dolls, yesterday, I started the day off by accidentally making a tear in my quilt worse. That's the quilt I've literally had all of my life, minus a few days; the sibling I'm closest to gave her to me. She's a Holly Hobby print quilt, handmade by his paternal grandmother. I remember when we'd have visitors when I was a kid and I'd carry her in with me. One of our favorite neighbors commented that there would be a day when Mom would put her in a drawer until I was grown-up and would ask to have her again. I said "I don't think so!" Everyone was amused. I was probably seven then; I'm twenty-eight and that neighbor's prediction never did come true. LOL. I still cuddle with that quilt every sleep session, even though I no longer take her to show visitors. Heh.

Well, so yesterday was not a good day for my childhood. I have a square of yellow cloth I specifically bought to repair some of the tears, though, and I decided it was time I did that. So last night I found time to sew a patch on over the tear I'd lengthened by accident. It actually looks pretty spiffy. Now to figure out how to repair the other worst tear without damaging what's left of what always looked like a cute little face in one of the corners. Wondering how to do both is why I didn't repair the tears as soon as I bought the cloth. I know I should just sew a patch over that entire corner, but when a couple of little holes there have made what looks like two eyes and a mouth and that's what I've seen most of my life, it's hard to think of covering that up. I have to do something with it, though, because part of that cloth had torn a lot worse since I was a child.

Mouse count is 10 or 11, with one spotted again in a bedroom. I think it's the same smart-aleck we were fighting with last week and lost when Dad tried to carry it out in a drawer. We wanted to believe so bad that it got out in the garage, but it's more likely it never left his room at all. Oh, we just want this horror to end! **flops over.** Why, why, why....

And last night, a bunch of teenage idiots were using our yard for a trail-way and stood by our back fence smoking something; Dad's not sure if it was regular cigarettes or marijuana. We've found cigarettes and even an empty box in our yard recently; these crumbs are probably responsible. I guess this is going to be our September horror, combined with the cleaning up from mice horror. If they're ever spotted out there again, I say we call the police. Dad was going to last night, but then they started to come towards Dad (not knowing he was watching them) and he yelled at them and they fled. It just never stops, does it?

To be honest, everything has been pretty bad for me in general since May or whenever a personal problem started happening. I always start thinking about it more when I'm going to cramp, and big surprise, I'm going to cramp very soon now. I'm so frustrated and upset by it and I can't get over it, especially after learning that apparently every one of my attempts to clear up the problem only gave the other party the opposite impression of what I meant and made everything worse. I'll admit that I said some things I shouldn't have in the fourth and fifth messages; by that point I was very desperate and hurt and felt very ignored and not cared about. I just don't get what I said that was so awful in the first three messages I sent, since those were my attempts to answer the original issues brought before me. I was stunned and distressed that the issues were even issues and I tried to answer everything. I thought I was showing that I honestly cared about straightening the mess out when I went looking through all my stuff to find the specific things the person was upset by and then wrote to tell what I'd found and why I'd written the things that were upsetting to them. Then when I kept not hearing anything after those messages were sent, not even a "Got your reply; I'll answer when I can", I became so desperate and distressed that I sent one of the messages I shouldn't have. However, in between the things I shouldn't have said, I was also honestly trying to think of anything else related that I might have said that the person had been upset about and trying to explain what I'd really meant by those things, hoping that would make the person feel better. I have a terrible knack for making everything worse when I only want to make it better, and I demonstrated it completely there.

The way the situation stands right now, I'm not supposed to talk to that person any more because they were so stressed by my messages and apparently misinterpreted my intentions from the first reply, or at least, that's the way they came across when they finally said something in response to my replies. I sent one more message after I received that one, trying to explain that my intentions with my replies had not been what was thought, but I don't know if it was even read or that it would even matter if it was. Part of me wishes some mutual friend could try to serve as mediator and smooth things out enough that we could get to where we could have the conversation that I wanted us to have ever since I learned that this person had a problem. Contrary to what they think I think, in reality I want very badly to know why they feel the way they do! The only way to try to fix anything is by knowing both sides of the story. I tried to tell my side and that was interpreted as me not being willing to listen to theirs. The other part of me doesn't want to put the burden of a mediator on anyone and figures that the person would be upset if I even tried that. I suppose all I can do is keep waiting to see if they calm down and feel different. Even if we mutually decided that it would be better to officially break things off afterwards, I wish we could part with this mess straightened out. I'm tired of it hanging over my head and knowing that I gave this person the completely wrong impression and knowing that I caused hurt. I feel bad that I was completely misunderstood in my motivations in sending all of the replies. I honestly wanted to make the person feel better and it just didn't work. And I am very discouraged if we're parting ways over something that should be able to be talked out.

One thing is for sure; I've learned an important lesson. Just because two people had a close friendship at one time before drifting apart doesn't mean that the friend will understand what you mean even if you honestly think they know you well enough that they would. And no, I'm not saying I actually thought friends don't argue; I argued with that person several times in the past. (And the idea that friends become closer after arguing is bull, plain and simple. I've never had it prove true with me.) Back then, it was usually because I really had done something that hurt the other person. I don't recall ever arguing over the things that I felt hurt about; I think the only times I said anything at all were when I was distressed that something I'd said for an RP character was misinterpreted and made them look bad, and then another time when the person thought I was going to do something with a character that I wasn't, because apparently I found it worse for my friend to think poorly of the characters than I did for them to think poorly of me. I usually kept quiet whenever they misunderstood me or inadvertently hurt me, not wanting to cause trouble. But I just assumed that from reading my journal through many years, and from times when they did peg certain things about me right, they would come to understand me a lot better and I ended up stunned when that didn't seem to be the case in this situation. Heh. What a naive child. Some people just come from worlds so different that they never can really understand each other. I hope I'll never forget that now.

Bottom line: hopefully I will never be surprised by something a friend tells me again, after being so surprised and stunned by the issues that this person brought up that remain unresolved. Perhaps if I hadn't sent the fourth and fifth messages, we would have talked by now. On the other hand, I wouldn't have sent them if there had been some acknowledgment of the original three messages I sent trying to help the person understand the truth about the issues. Saying nothing at all to me in response to any of those was what compounded the problem and hurt so much more than bringing up the original issues did. I would have understood if I was told at that point that there was busyness or other problems going on; I already knew there was a lot happening. But when the issue was brought up, I thought they would want to answer when I tried to explain it. It hurt me very deeply when there was nothing and it dragged on like that for days. I even worried that something awful had happened because I didn't think they would ignore me, but when I peeked on Facebook and they were posting as usual, I thought everything was fine and I was indeed being ignored. It was only after being so hurt that I sent the fourth message and then messaging the person elsewhere to ask if they'd got anything that I was told anything at all about what was happening and was informed that there had been an injury in addition to everything else going on (although nothing as serious as what I had worried might be the case). Then I waited patiently for weeks. I shouldn't have sent the fifth message after all that waiting; I should have simply sent a "What's up/hope all's well" message or something, but it was hard to think of just sending something like that when I was still so hurt, and I guess I felt that after all that time, I would have heard something, even a brief note, if it meant anything to them at all, since they were still around online and doing stuff. I did inquire after their well-being, but then I tried saying some other things regarding explaining myself/things I'd said that I hoped might help the issue. I shouldn't have. Everything backfired.

I know very well that I handled things badly, but it takes two people to screw up a friendship, a romance, or anything else like that. We both made mistakes and I wish we could just talk this mess out and try again. Or talk it out and say goodbye on friendly terms.

I guess I'm typing all this out partially because I hope it will reach the person and maybe explain everything better, but I really know that isn't likely to happen, especially after everything else I tried to say was misunderstood. I'm just frustrated and upset and on the verge of cramping and spouting off stupidly and wishing that I could repair the disasters I've made.

So I've had that hanging over my head for months, and summer really hasn't been great for other reasons, either. June was filled with stress over that. Starting with July, things started being bad for the whole family and not just me. July was filled with the reply at last and being told in it not to send anything more. July was also filled with a variety of minor downers, which only felt bigger because of the major downer. Things got a little better for a bit, but then Mom got really ill and that carried into August. Just as she was starting to feel a little better, the mice started showing themselves. Now we have to clean up from them, catch the one(s) still here, and deal with these unctuous crumbs invading our yard to trespass and smoke.

Part of me wishes we could go back to April and start over again from there. The other part just wants summer gone already and hopes that autumn will be filled with awesome, which seems unlikely at this point.

I did some spring cleaning over at Dreamwidth. I haven't been happy with having made it a mirror of this journal, as I had wanted it to be something different. I found out I could delete all imported entries. I did that, and then created a different DW account to use specifically as an LJ back-up. For now, I think I'll go back to using my main DW account to post silly Perry Mason song parodies and maybe quizzes. It's the same account name as here: http://insaneladybug.dreamwidth.org The archive account links from there, too.

I don't suppose anyone here is on Insanejournal? I had an account there, but it got borked. I liked that silly place, because they let you have 100 free icons and they had an actual ladybug mood theme! It was so cute. And now I can't make a new account there because they decided they had to do that frustrating "invite-code only" thing for free accounts. Ugh.

I'm not sure whether to keep this icon or not. It's adorable and squeeable and so cute, but it stands out so colorfully from every other icon I'm using, even the other color ones. (There, in fact, I'm showing my Twilight side of liking things to be in order.) Still, I've wanted a Pony icon for a long time, and even though sometimes I feel like I'm a doormat like Fluttershy, in the end I really think I'm more like Twilight Sparkle (with some Applejack mixed in; once I got both of them on a Pony personality test). And regardless of which one I'm most like, I simply love Twilight the very most.

I finished the U.N.C.L.E. fic and printed it. As usually happens, it turned out a little different from my initial idea. I had planned to have a silly subplot where Napoleon and Illya start spying on Ecks and Wye to try to figure out how they get along under the same roof when Napoleon and Illya have trouble doing the same thing. I eliminated that and pretty much focused the story completely around the mystery. I'm still amused by the idea, though, so maybe I'll write it sometime as a random stand-alone piece.

I'm not sure if in the end it moves too fast; I was thinking to myself how it's like the manga version of Sailor Moon in that it stays strictly to the plot and doesn't have fillery detours, except an occasional character-developing conversation. I think the Sailor Moon manga moves too fast; I prefer for there to be some filler, as it's both a nice diversion from the heavy stuff and it serves character-building purposes. But I was hesitant to do filler in the fic, knowing that a lot of people don't care for that. And it never seemed like there was a good place to insert it, either.

Towards the end of the story, I got the idea that Napoleon and Illya should meet David McCallum's meek and mild Perry Mason character. By the time I wrote the epilogue, I had decided to make that the next fic and also to have it continue from the one I was finishing, with them on the trail of a missing enemy spy from Ecks and Wye's organization. I'm going to call it The Fifty Millionth Frenchman Affair, in tribute to the Perry Mason episode, and also signaling for those in the know that it's going to bring in that character.

It's interesting writing in a way that leaves the time period completely vague. I managed to get through the story without encountering one issue where I'd have to reveal the truth, which is unusual. It will be even more interesting seeing if I can pull it off in the next story, since they'll be in Los Angeles and therefore probably crossing over with all of my L.A. shows. I'll probably drop a couple of small mentions to the WWW fic Deadly Codename, since Napoleon, Illya, and Mr. Waverly were in that and trying to stop THRUSH from destroying the world, along with WWW, Cannon, and The Fugitive characters.

And there's a challenge running soon to write fics showing Napoleon and Illya's first meetings. I'm toying with the idea of participating, probably just to the extent of showing a short, first conversation fic. That is probably going to be the most interesting experiment of all, trying to write that and show distrust between them and somehow not reveal that it's the approximate present-day (several years ago). I've even been doing some research of Russia in the 1990s to start crafting my own backstory for Illya in my timeline. Even though it's highly unlikely that I will actually write that backstory into the story, I think crafting it in private will still help me figure out how to write him in a first meeting piece with Napoleon.

As to why hiding the time period is even a thing, the explanation is fairly simple. Most people prefer U.N.C.L.E. to be a period piece, even though the episodes are really timeless and rarely ever show an indication that it's meant to be a period piece. There's not even consternation over a Russian being around in a law enforcement position; it's just accepted everywhere, by most all the characters they encounter. So to me, it only takes place in the 1960s because it was made then and was taking place in the present-day of its time. And I think it fits seamlessly into the present-day of this time. But since most people want it to be a period piece, I try to compromise by not revealing any time period at all. That way, everyone can picture it as they want and everyone's happy.

I do reveal it's the present-day in the Ecks and Wye solo pieces, though, since I figure I'm the only one who'd be reading those. Ecks seems to like the (1970s?) band Queen, as Wye mentions him listening to them once, Mr. Zed has a DVD collection as well as his actual vintage film collection, and Ecks uses a rock song as his ringtone (probably a Queen song, although I didn't specify that). It's also mentioned that he hacked into U.N.C.L.E.'s computers, whereas in the stories with Napoleon and Illya I just say he reprogrammed the computers and don't mention how.

... There was a slight place in the mystery story I just did where the time period was accidentally alluded to, now that I think of it. When Illya's communicator pen goes off in chapter 2, no one around him seems that confused. The reason is because they figure it's a cellphone going off, but I didn't mention that in the story. It wasn't a deliberate thing, but once Illya's pen went off, I realized that how the characters behaved about it would definitely indicate time period.

Another fic plan involves a Mannix story where Roger Bard shows up wanting Lew Wickersham's help because he's got some important documents and all kinds of people are after him. If I write that, Napoleon and Illya would be among the pursuers, as well as Ecks and Wye (and other characters from Roger's Mannix episode). It's based on a role-play I've been doing.

I also need to finish the two Mannix stories I've got going, the one showing how Joe and Lew first met and one where they're trapped in a town without pity. The latter is the shorter one, but I'm having trouble getting inspiration for it beyond some of the horrors Lew goes through. If I launch into those now, though, it's probably too soon and the story won't feel natural. That's how I ended up stalling on that one in the first place. After re-reading both, I have more inspiration for the other one, yet I really wish I could work on the town one since it's the shorter one.

Then there's two Mannix oneshots, an old idea and a new one. The old one involves Joe going to Lew's office around season 8, getting a drink from the decanter (as he really does multiple times in season 1), and flopping on Lew's couch for a tired rant. He's so sick of so many friends turning out to be crooks. Seriously, sooo many episodes have that plot twist. I think Joe really would be getting sick of it by season 8. And he wants to reassure himself that Lew is still the same honest, upright person he remembers.

The new one would be Joe, Peggy, and Lew in a weird, creepy house, because there can never be too many weird, creepy house fics. I love figuring out how to make each house different from all the others.

I still want to do my idea of Della Street meeting Peggy, too. They could have an awesome friendship.

I also have some less distinctive plunnies that I nevertheless might like to do sometime, like another Sunset Shimmer fic, maybe with backstory for her from her time as a Pony, because I don't entirely agree with the comic's portrayal of her and I want to show my version. The comic had her portrayed as really nasty all the way along as a Pony, but to me that doesn't align with the movies. In the first movie, Celestia says she only became nasty when things didn't happen for her as soon as she wanted. And she's such a sweetheart in the second movie that I feel she must have been sweet as a Pony too, until her impatience got the better of her. I also kind of like an idea I saw in a fan-made video where she was bullied as a Pony. It could definitely help explain why she turns to bullying when she first arrives in the human world. She doesn't want to be anything less than the best, and by this point she thinks being cold and cruel is the only way to be the best. She doesn't change her mind on that until Twilight and the human counterparts of her Pony friends are able to defeat her when magic is activated by the power of Twilight's friends trying to protect Twilight.

I picture the fic opening with a nightmare, maybe with bullying going on, and then it zeroes in and shows that Sunset is being bullied by her bad self. Sunset awakens in horror. It would take place between the two movies and show how she's dealing with her actions and how she's trying to turn back to being good again after being so bad. Throughout the fic, there would be little flashbacks to her time in Equestria.

Writing about it, I'm getting really excited for it again. Maybe I'll start writing it soon and see how it starts coming out. I had wanted to finish the U.N.C.L.E. fic before I started it, and now I have, so maybe I should test it out before I start the next U.N.C.L.E. fic (even though I'm excited for that, too).

Another idea would be very surreal and have Sunset talking to Snakes, even though I generally have the show as fiction in my main verse and it's something Snakes knows about. I just have this urge to see what would happen if he and Sunset conversed, considering all the canon parallels of Sunset with my fanon version of Snakes. It's really interesting how that happened entirely by accident.

I also found someone on the Pony forum who likes The Batman, so I'm getting plunnied again for my idea where The Batman's Riddler meets The Animated Series Riddler. I looked over my notes for the story and hope to test that out soon.

So many stories, so little time.

[Error: unknown template qotd]I try to avoid it if at all possible, unless someone brings it to me. Then I can't be at peace until the matter is resolved, or at least, until it's attempted to be resolved.

I do like to participate in discussions of shows, episodes, etc., but if the tone starts turning controversial and nasty, I tend to stay silent and back out.

I try to never avoid a problem if I'm aware there is a problem. As much as I hate to become involved in conflict, once the existence of a problem has been made known to me, there is no point in trying to avoid it. I will not be able to stop thinking about it and being tormented by it as long as it's left hanging.

On the other hand, when it comes to things that cannot be changed, such as depressing things from the past or people who have their minds made up and don't want to hear another point-of-view, I prefer to sweep it under the rug and not think about it. Which isn't always healthy, and doesn't always work, but eh.

So I never could seem to wake up when I got up for church. So much so that when we got home, I was pretty sure I'd actually be able to go back to sleep, which doesn't often happen after we've been out somewhere.

I slept. And had a weird dream. It was one of those "eluding people and exploring a location" dreams, for the most part. I kind of like those, probably because I had the greatest fun doing that as a kid. I remember how much I loved exploring Sutherlands Lumber. Oh, that place was a paradise for a young kid. Kitchen displays, beautiful lighting, being able to squeeze in between the giant shelves that were back-to-back and walk down the tunnel they created between them....

For some reason, more than once my mind has taken to using churches as the locales in the dreams. That's not too surprising today, considering we'd just come back from there.

Very weirdly, this dream opened with me apparently trying to conduct a writing group and explaining about the prompt for the week and some possibilities of what could be done with it. I have no idea why that was going on in the church. And I was walking away, I heard some of the people irritated because I was a newcomer and trying to instruct them. I realized I wasn't wanted and tried to quietly slip away.

Then the dream proceeded as those dreams usually do, with me wandering all over the building and ducking into darkened rooms when possible, trying to avoid people and just wanting to be alone to explore or think or whatever. Some of the dreams of this type have a definite sense of danger or urgency in my escapes, but this one was just calm and unhurried. There was no danger. Even though I didn't want to encounter people, it was more of a game to see if I could manage not to.

At one point I wandered to where there was some kind of gathering that seemed to be to celebrate a good choir performance. I found Luke Andreas there and was thrilled. I immediately approached him to talk. Hilariously, I informed him that I was having a dream and my mind had dragged him into the dream with me. I don't know if the idea I meant was that my mind had simply conjured him up or that I had somehow summoned him from the afterlife. In spite of my saying it was a dream, it seemed to be more like I was just talking to him in real-life and he wasn't dead; he mentioned going to get his wife at one point. He was amiable and nice and was willing to talk to me about The Rockford Files and such.

Best part of the dream, totally.

After he left, I wandered some more, at one point going into a room where a musical performance practice was going on. I still didn't want to run into anybody else, nor did I want to interrupt them, so there was a bit of me climbing over soft chairs behind a stage curtain to get back out of the room. I thought I was noticed, yet no one came after me to talk or to recruit me, so I figured I was wrong.

Finally I got where I was apparently trying to get all along: a place with refreshments. I was frustrated because I hadn't been informed of it. But there was still stuff left and I grabbed some.

I think it ended around there. There was also another odd, earlier dream that culminated with the family running to get back to the car and I was too close to a drop-off in the asphalt and started to fall, but was pulled back up with the assistance of a pleasant stranger who pulled up. He seemed to like me and I wasn't averse to the idea of a date, but I can't quite recall how that turned out, if he asked me or not. In reality, I would be very leery of going on a date with someone I'd just met, even if he did help me out of a situation.

So overall, weird dreams as usual. But I love the part with Luke.

Recently I saw this quiz turn up on Tumblr. It looked familiar and I thought I remembered randomly taking it the last time it popped up. I finally found that. Apparently I never posted it anywhere. I don't post quizzes on Tumblr and I couldn't find it here. So I touched it up a bit and here you go.

A:Your current OTP. Rumbelle (at least up through season 3A) and Duke/Serenity. Also, I still love Seto/Tea.
B:A pairing you initially didn’t consider but someone changed your mind. Seto/Tea. I used to scoff at it, and then when talking to someone about how unlikely it seemed, I got the urge to see if it could work after all.
C:A pairing you wish you shipped, but just can't. Yugi/Tea. I feel so guilty to not be able to ship it, when Yugi has such a big crush on her, but I just can't. It's Seto/Tea all the way for me.
D:What was the first thing you ever contributed to a fandom? Oh gosh, I don't know. My Gomer Pyle website, maybe? I think that came even before my All Dogs Go to Heaven website.
E:Have you added anything stupid/cracky/hilarious to your fandom, if so, what? Too many things to name them all. Silly fics about Internet lingo and Sephiroth, Cloud, and Zack being confused.... Pictures of Lieutenant Anderson ordering from Pizza Hut....
F:What’s the longest you’ve ever been in a fandom? What fandom was it? The Monkees, probably. I'm still in it. I don't leave fandoms except in very rare cases. I do sometimes stop submitting new things for fandoms, though. I still occasionally write Monkees fics, but I haven't done anything for Gomer Pyle in years and years.
G:What was your first fandom? If by fandom we mean connecting with other fans, that would be Balto/All Dogs Go to Heaven.
H:Do you prefer real-life TV shows or animated TV shows? Depends on the show. I don't really actively prefer one over the other.
I:Has tumblr caused you to stop liking any fandoms, if so, which and why? No.
J:Name a fandom you didn’t care/think about until you saw it all over tumblr. Marvel Cinematic Universe. I still haven't seen any films in it other than Captain America, but the GIF sets I see floating around make me curious.
K:How do you feel about the other people in your current fandom(s). Basically, they're nice people. Every fandom has its screwballs, though.
L:Your favorite fanartist/author gives you one request, what do you ask for? ... Honestly, that would depend on what fandom they're my favorite in. I would adore for someone to draw me Ginger and Lou or Snakes art. I love drawing it myself, but it's even more fun when others join in. But if this is pairing specific, I would love fanart or fics for any of my favorite ships. Duke/Serenity could especially use more art.
M:A person who got you into a fandom and what fandom they pulled you in to. I'm usually the person pulling people into fandoms. And usually it's more than one person who gets me into a fandom, since it generally takes me a while to want to try something new when I'm busy with what I've got.
N:Your favorite fandom (for the people; not the thing you fangirl over). Good question.
O:Choose a song at random, what ship does it remind you of? Hallelujah (Leonard Cohen). It reminds me of Rumbelle. However, I usually associate it with Ginger and Lou friendship (or Ginger's life in specific) more than anything romantic.
P:Invent a random AU for any fandom (we always need more ideas). Why does it have to be an AU idea? It's generally more fun to just write in the canon-established verse, unless said canon-established verse has become a disaster and impossible to work with, like Once Upon a Time is now. I have an AU for Once that picks up at season 3B and has Belle save Rumpel a la Beauty and the Beast. It then continues from there with slice-of-life stuff and Neal still very much alive. Maybe one of these days I'll actually write something more for it.
Q:A ship you’ve abandoned and why. When I think something works, I don't tend to abandon it even if I stop being involved in fanworks for it.
R:A pairing you ship that you don’t think anyone else ships. ::shrug.:: .... Peter Howard/Nancy Drew, from The Ghostwriter's Cruise episode of the 1970s show. They could have had a lot of fun interaction, if given the chance. And May-December romance for the win. The 1970s Nancy Drew series seemed to be in favor of such things more than once (although nothing ever got serious in any of the cases).
S:What's a headcanon you have? ... For what? I have dozens and dozens of headcanons for many shows. They don't often involve romance, though. Let's see.... I decided to write Lieutenant Schrank from West Side Story as having been married, but then divorced. It wasn't a friendly divorce. Mr. Wye from The Man from U.N.C.L.E. had a similar fate. I believe those are the only canonically single characters I've chosen to portray as having been married before.
T:What are your favorite male/male ships or female/female ships? Don't have any. I absolutely adore platonic life partners, though. Ginger and Lou from The Rockford Files would be in that category.
U:What are your favorite male/female ships? Rumbelle, Duke/Serenity, Seto/Tea, Nephrite/Naru.
V:Do you have any 3-way ships? If so, what? No.
W:5 favorite characters from 5 different fandoms. Rumpelstiltskin/Mr. Gold, Duke Devlin, Oscar Goldman, Hamilton Burger, The Virginian
X:3 OTPs from 3 different fandoms. Rumbelle, Duke/Serenity, Nephrite/Naru
Y:A fandom you’re in but have no ships from. The great majority of them. It's rare when I do have a ship.
Z:What's a ship that you want to ship publicly, but everyone on tumblr hates it so you keep your mouth shut about it? I dunno.

[Error: unknown template qotd]Introvert. I'm somewhat shy, but I can put on a facade of being outgoing when I really want to, such as if I'm meeting favorite celebrities. At other times, such as when I'm with a group of people I don't really know, I prefer to stay quiet in the background. I'm an unusual character and am often the odd one out on preferences and interests. Sometimes when I've tried to reach out to someone who seems to share an interest, I haven't got much response, so I don't like to bother people. It's a very Fluttershy reaction. I need a Fluttershy icon....

Do I wish I was different? Sometimes. I'd like to feel more at ease reaching out to people, as I like when people reach out to me. But it's so hard to get past the "I don't want to bother them" mode, especially after past experiences.

I've gotta say, as much as I love the squee when Leia finally acknowledges she loves Han, I feel sad to think of all that wonderful banter ceasing. They have so many classic exchanges in the first two films. I was laughing and laughing when seeing those films again this past week. One of my favorite lines, when the Millennium Falcon just won't start:

Leia: Would it help if I got out and pushed?

Such classic sarcasm.

That's a great example right there of why I generally don't like when unresolved romantic tension gets resolved. It changes the whole dynamic of things.

That said, I do support the pairing and find it very squeeable and I just adore Leia's daring part in the plan to rescue Han in Return of the Jedi. Leia is awesome.

And while The Empire Strikes Back is my favorite of the original trilogy, I do love that in Return of the Jedi we get to see a scene of Boba Fett in action. As a kid, I was always heartbroken by him falling into the Sarlaac pit and I wanted so much to believe he got out. When I was old enough to read the stories and I discovered that it is very much a thing in the Expanded Universe that he gets out, I was absolutely overjoyed.

Even though episode VII will not follow the Expanded Universe canon (and I am mostly glad about that), I really hope that they will at least accept the idea that Boba Fett survived and have him make a cameo appearance or something. That would be so awesome. Even though George Lucas really had intended for him to die, he finally resigned himself to the fact that the fans did not want that. He even said once that he considered inserting a scene in the movie showing Boba Fett getting out, but he thought it would break the flow of the film (which it would have), so he didn't. That's as close to an official sanction of the idea that he gets out in movie-verse as we'll get, if he doesn't appear in episode VII. (Of course, I will insist on believing he did, even if he doesn't appear in episode VII.)

Also, I just keep marveling that I actually have the 20-inch Boba Fett figure. They came out in September, a Wal-Mart exclusive. In all that time, I have only ever seen one, at any Wal-Mart. That Wal-Mart is ours.

The first time I saw him, I didn't have the money to spare to buy him on the spot or I would have. I thought sure I wouldn't have another chance. But then he was there the next time I looked, and stayed there all the way up to when I actually could get him several weeks later. I know it's silly and wouldn't really be true, but it's nice to geek out and think that he was there just for me. I'm sure there's other Boba Fett fans in this area and they just weren't lucky enough to be aware of the figure's existence in Wal-Mart right then. But to a starry-eyed girl who's loved him for 23 years, it just seems squeeably amazing that things all fell into place for her/me to be able to have him.

I'm hoping to soon go to Barnes and Noble and a Wal-Mart or two other than ours. I want to see if Wal-Mart still carries the first half of Sailor Moon season 1 and I'll probably buy it if they do. Ours has one more copy, but the case was actually dented in on the corner and I worried wondering if the discs would be alright inside, since it would take some serious crushing to dent a DVD case's corner, so I decided I did not want that copy and I'd try to find another, or buy it on Amazon if I couldn't. And I'm debating whether to get it if I see it or to save my money for February 10th and then debate between the second half of the season and Batman season 2 (part 1). I want all badly, but I can't have them all at once. It would make more sense to get Sailor Moon right now, I think, but gaaah, I learned that the Batman set will include the Chrissy episode and even though I recorded it, that's not as good as having a DVD. And there's King Tut and Penguin and so much fun. I'm sure I'll love those episodes, even though season 2 does get sillier than season 1.

And at Barnes and Noble, it is terribly tempting to splurge a bit and get two or three Star Wars books. Which I doubt I'd really do, but I want to go look at them anyway. I still have Star Wars books here I need to read (or want to re-read), in addition to all the other unread books I have stacked around, so getting more books is not sensible at all. But ... when I have money that I could, it's awfully tempting. I want some more of those pre-movie Han Solo adventure books I've seen around, maybe the Lando ones too, and I always wanted the one where Han and Leia go to Tatooine to learn about Anakin, and then there's the anthology set with the story of Boba Fett in the Sarlaac apparently talking to either it or someone else who fell in some time ago, and that new book that's out taking place after episode IV.... (I adore midquels!) The wanted list goes on and on. And the thought of all those wonderful books and more makes me inwardly wiggle happily all over.