Ramblings and Musings of the Insane, Philosophical Ladybug

I stole something from Tumblr again. This was on Gwen's Tumblr, but I'm not sure if she wrote it or was just posting it from someone else. (It wasn't a reblog.)


( 50 question meme )

I was also tagged to answer some questions that Kohaku and Trix wrote. I don't use my Tumblr for posting memes and such, so I decided to bring those over here too. Trix's first, then Kohaku's, which is the order I saw them.


( Two more quizzes )

XD; I swear that's the first time I've actually had someone get drugged in an RP. And I mean DRUGGED, like with a hallucinogen, not just being chloroformed. Alister was accosted while out looking for Valon after they had a big argument over Valon attracting strange girls (XD;) and these people who were part of the drug gang he had been investigating injected him with one of their drugs. None of the stuff with the gang members actually taking and drugging him was shown to have happened (Alister told it later), but instead Alister somehow rode home and keeled over on the porch after telling Raphael that he'd killed someone. He was having hallucinations and was convinced that he'd ran a kid down. ;__; Then he said that Valon was dead, too, and since Valon was right there, he was quite disturbed. He figured out that Alister had probably been drugged and that he might have even been given an overdose, so he and Raph worried about that while they tried to calm the poor thing down. He was fighting against them and acting wild. Eventually he did calm down and was resting for a while before waking up and being normal again, and wondering what on earth had happened. That RP was freaking dark. But I liked it. XD;

Over the past week, I've completed three chapters of the new mystery fic, written some of Neptune's Wrath, and drew a picture of Alister and Miruko that I'm very proud of! Plus I bought the YGO movie (and have seen it three times already!), went with Dad to practice our parts for the Christmas program at the party my grandma's having next week (I'm singing and he's teaching a dance), and did an exam for Social Civics! Now there's only one more exam for that course and I'm done with it! ^__^ I still need to get that blasted Speech exam finished. XD;

I also was introduced to the band Within Temptation, courtesy of Stacey. Oh wow, their song Our Farewell is so beautiful! It does sound like Mrs. Ishtar talking to little Rishid and Ishizu, just as Stacey said. And the lead singer's voice is angelic. I swear, she rivals Amy Lee, and that's saying a lot. I read over all their lyrics at DarkLyrics.com and I was highly impressed. Their songs are beautiful and deep without being sensual or having swear words. ^___^

So now I want to buy their Mother Earth album. XD; Which is not necessarily a good thing right now, because I also want to buy the YGO movie Ani-Manga, some cute YGO tazos from a person at Fang's Trading Post (Rishid's even on one!), I need to go Christmas shopping, and I'm semi-considering buying a mint condition Sailor Mars plush that's being offered. XD; I did buy something for Mom on Tuesday when I got the YGO movie. Fred Meyer (well, it's Smith's Marketplace now) had an album of Jim Nabors song, and Mom has always loved his singing, so I bought that. I thought I should get it right then in case it wasn't there another time. XD; I'd also considered telling Dad about it and seeing if he would get it for Mom, since I was worried about spending so much money in a month, but then I was like, What the heck, I saw this and I wanna get it for her, so I will. The movie was $19.99 (and worth every penny!) and the CD was $8.99, and I'd already spent my vowed limit before that, so I really shouldn't buy anything more until December. XD;

LOL, I remember last year at Christmastime, I bought some of the main things I wanted for myself instead of putting them on my Christmas wishlist. For instance, I wanted a shirt with Marik on it, but my dad doesn't buy character shirts for me, so I figured I'd have to get that myself. And when I saw the Marik figure after five months of looking, of course I immediately had to buy him. XD I doubted Dad would have got him for me anyway, because of his midriff shirt. XD; Dad's very strict about dressing modestly, and I don't blame him, but I still wanted my Marik figure! (Actually, my solution so Dad wouldn't complain if he ever stopped to take a good look at my figure was to wrap a little piece of white cloth around Marik's waist, covering it. **smiles.** And it's worked, because Dad hasn't complained and I've had that figure for almost a year now.) Anyway, my point was that this year I may continue the tradition and buy a Christmas present or two for myself again this year. LOL. Of course the majority of my December spending money will go toward buying Christmas things for family and friends, as usual.

This is also going up at Kyodai no Kokoro. I've decided to post all my musings about Marik and his Yami there. ^__^ The following is copyright by me and I will hunt you down if you steal!

***************

Today I will be attempting to compare the case of Marik and his Yami with that of Hikaru Shidou and Nova from Magic Knight Rayearth. Those of you familiar with the anime version of MKR will remember a strange, pink-haired character who appeared in the second season. She oddly resembled Hikaru and completely baffled everyone due to this fact. Unlike Hikaru, however, "Nova" was cruel, sadistic, and caused no end of trouble for Hikaru and the others. In one of the early episodes, she revealed a strange and quite disturbing fact.

"I hate everything you love," she told a dazed and injured Hikaru after a battle they had engaged in, "and because you hate yourself, I love you."

This so-called "love" for Hikaru doesn't at first seem to be a true form of caring, since she often tries to destroy everyone precious to Hikaru---Umi, Fuu, even the man she loves, Lantis---and also, Hikaru herself. Rather, it seems that instead of love, Nova has an unhealthy obsession with Hikaru and everything associated with her. There is a reason for this, as explained toward the end of the season. Nova is actually an entity Hikaru created the first time she and her friends were in Cephiro because of Hikaru's immense self-hatred for killing Princess Emeraude (even though it was the only thing she could do to save the land and it was what Emeraude wanted). Of course, there is the little detail that Nova seems to think that she would be doing Hikaru a favor by killing her and her loved ones and that Hikaru would be happy if it were done. This would most likely make her worlds apart from the destruction-loving Yami Marik, who most certainly isn't looking to do any "favors" for Marik and the others and definitely doesn't want to make them happy.

There are some differences between Nova and Yami Marik other than the reasons for their express "missions" in life---most notably, what became of them in the end---and Nova seems much more complex and fascinating compared to the one-dimensional and somewhat predictable Yami Marik, but on the surface they may indeed be two of a kind. They were both created by accident as dark entities of their creators, both are intent on making life miserable for their creators and all who are dear to them, and neither seems to care who gets hurt or killed as long as they get what they want.

Perhaps the biggest difference between them is why they were created. Yami Marik was created mainly out of hatred for others, especially the wicked Mr. Ishtar. Nova, as has been said, was created from self-hatred. But then again, can there truly be one without the other? If one is hating humanity so deeply that all they can feel at the moment is hate, how can they really feel any different about themselves than they do about others? And by the same token, if one is hating themself so acutely, can they truly show goodwill to others? The reasons for this duo's creation may not be so different after all.

The next strange and interesting question is: Does Yami Marik have the same unhealthy obsession (or something similar) with Marik that Nova has with Hikaru? This is never actually addressed in the anime. He certainly does have an obsession with hurting Marik and his siblings, especially Rishid, for if Rishid dies, Yami Marik is able to run scot-free in Marik's body. But as far as we know, he has never actually stated something along the lines of "Because you hate yourself, I love you." Marik most certainly must have hated himself, but it is hard to comprehend Yami Marik ever feeling anything that he would even call love, unless it is the love of hurting people. In the end he really wanted to destroy Marik so he would no longer have the boy's interference, so it would seem that this also makes him different from Nova.

What happens to each entity in the end is very different. Yami Marik, as we know, is destroyed by Marik when he is encouraged by Rishid not to give up hope. Though it is speculated that he actually was not really destroyed (as I believe, since to me I feel that he is the manifestation of true darkness), it is obvious that he does not remerge with Marik. Marik is a complete soul without his Yami, since he still has both a good and an evil side and his Yami was created from excess and unneeded hate. Therefore, now that Marik's mental strength has been renewed, Yami Marik can no longer inhabit his body to cause his destruction.

Nova, on the other hand, does remerge with Hikaru, as it is said that since they are part of each other, one is not complete without the other. If Nova is destroyed, part of Hikaru is destroyed as well, therefore the only solution for them is to remerge. Thank goodness this is not the case with Marik and his Yami.

In the end, Nova is actually an extremely misguided entity who actually does only wish to do what she believes Hikaru truly wants. Indeed she is very complex, especially compared to Yami Marik's one-dimensional "I want to kill everyone until I'm the only one left" motives. Nova fascinates me, as does Yami Marik to a certain extent. Mostly, in Yami Marik's case, I just love to prove that he's not Marik himself.

'Tis another irritating computer problem. I've been having them all weekend. Weird programs started installing themselves onto my computer. Right now I'm on Dad's again. I have to find the firewall and install it on the Gateway and then I'm going to get Netscape, which is a much better browser than Internet Explorer. Only problem is, finding the firewall CD isn't going to be so easy. XD; Dad and I already looked for ages. What's more, I think I infected Dad's Zip disk when I brought some of my floppies over from the Gateway. Grrr. ><

I did finally get Megaman, Volume 3. It has Bass in it, so I wanted to get it before I got any of the other mangas. **smiles.** And I found out that Megaman trying to help Bass remember his past (well, Bass getting amnesia at all) only happened in the games. Pity. That means I won't get to see such a kewl scene happen, unless I can buy the games and the game system. XD

And I wrote an essay for school. It's about avenging angel characters. It talks about Marik, mostly, but also mentions Bass (called Forte in the essay) and Hao. I'm proud of it. ^^

...... And we're having more car trouble, too. This time it's a leak in the radiator. All summer, like Mom said, it's been either car trouble, plumbing trouble, or someone not feeling well. **SIGH.**

I love Star 102.7!!!! They've played When I'm Gone, Hero (the Spiderman one), and now The Reason!! The latter is such a perfect Marik to Rishid song! ^O^

Oh yes. There's two other Evanescence songs I must use in fics for Bass: Field of Innocence and Solitude. I have this vague idea for a Christmas Megaman fic, ending very dramatically. I'd better start writing it so it'll be done by Christmas. XD I've had a big burst of longing for Christmas all the past week. This is very bad. Last year I got the longing in October. This year it's even earlier, which means a much longer wait! Oh well. Maybe it will motivate me to finish YuleTide Terror now. There's only three more chapters and the epilogue now!

And I need to get lavender material. I'm going to make me a real shirt like Marik's for cosplaying. I'll wear a black shirt underneath it, though, like Marik does in the manga. XD Not only would I not want to wear a midriff shirt, I wouldn't do Marik justice by wearing one. LOL. He has such a nice flat stomach. I do not. ^__~

YAY! I have the YGO Movie soundtrack! And it's great! The first song is all about Seto, and it's very deep, especially considering it came from the people who dubbed YGO. XD And One Card Short is finally on an album! I think of Joey, Seto, and Marik every time I hear it. The other track I really like is Shadow Games. Somehow it reminds me of Runihura and Abasi, the latter of whom is Runi's arch-nemesis.

I would've got it on the 10th, when it first came out, but Dad made his book delivery on Monday instead and so didn't want to go out of the house on Tuesday. But then the next day he had to go out again and he wound up going to correct some information he told a lady on Monday, which took us out a nice distance. So I went to Media Play and got the soundtrack there. Regularly they were selling it for $16.99, but they were having a sale and I got it for $13.99 instead. X3 Which is about the cheapest I could have got it for anyway. So yes, I am happy.

When we got home, we found this awesome movie on TV to watch. It was called Cry Panic, with John Forsythe. He hit this guy, and went to call the police, but when they came back, the body was gone! And there was a strange girl who kept appearing and disappearing. It was SO AWESOME!

I'm adapting parts of it for my next mystery fic, in which Marik goes undercover as "Namu Raberba." LOL. As in, Quatre Raberba Winner. He was the only Arabic person I could think of who isn't connected with the Ishtars or YGO in general. XD So I gave Marik his middle name for his alias. My other ideas for the "undercover" part of the fic came from the movie The Glass Key and from an subsequent RP I did with Rina-neechan. X3 I'm so excited to do this stuff! Marik will be riding his motorcycle, and it'll be dark and stormy, and suddenly a body will fly out in front of him and he'll havta hurry and stop! It's Seto. Marik didn't hit him, and Seto isn't dead, but someone wants to make Marik think he did indeed hit and kill him! Then Marik gets kayoed and when he comes to, Seto's vanished! Thus begins his undercover work. XD Plus, Mokuba's been kidnapped! Oh wow. **IS PSYCHED UP!**

I want so bad for my Runihura fic, when I write it, to be awesome, but somehow I have this feeling it won't ever be as good as the RP I'm doing with Aubrie. And I can't make my fic like that, because then the main character interacting with Runi would be Aubrie's OC. XD And too many main OC's in fics can give headaches. Plus, it just wouldn't mean as much if I just had Yaminah pop up to interact with Runi. I'll just havta find a bunch of new twists and hope the fic will come off right.

I need to draw a picture of Abasi. XD I keep imagining him as a cross between Vicious and Milliardo.

Oh yeah! And I finally got the first chapter of Family Secrets up! ^___^ I've had the prologue up for so long now by itself. XD It's a very dark fic, I suppose, but it's supposed to be beautiful too, showing how Marik deals with and eventually overcomes the dark secrets he remembers about how his father treated him.

You are Earth! Steady,strong, and smart. You know
that the decisions that you make are good ones
and stick to it.Keep it up!


::..::..Whats your anime element?..::..::
brought to you by Quizilla

Really. XD


Your Anime Personality is Lonely


What type of Anime Personality do you have? (for girls)
brought to you by Quizilla

I guess this is pretty much true. Not entirely, but pretty much. I love people, but sometimes it's more that I like being around them instead of talking to them. XD

You are Tea Gardner! You are a genuine, good
person to hang around with, gentle-natured and
well-mannered. Though your heart can be
provoked to speak its inner, profound truths
when you are aroused to anger, you are not
normally so outspoken. Possibly, you are
discovering that your ability to be both
tactful and blunt in different situations will
be quite useful to you.


Which character on Yu-Gi-Oh! fits your personality?
brought to you by Quizilla


You are Tea! Loyal, brave, and sometimes annoying
(to the people who don't really understand your
motivations), your aspirations reach high and
your cheers ring loudest when you're cheering
for friends. You seldom realize your own inner
beauty when you're showing others theirs, but
it's there. Though you're under-appreciated,
your presence in the world would surely be
missed if your voice was subtracted from the
cheering squad.


Which Yu-Gi-Oh! Girl Do You Resemble?
brought to you by Quizilla

Yay! I got Téa on both of those! She's great. ^____^

You like his Sweet mood. When he's being kind to
Mokuba, it melts your heart, and you can't get
over that benevolent smile. Given that we
don't see his sweet mood too often, it's a rare
and welcomed treat when it does come around.


Which mood of Seto Kaiba's do you love the most?
brought to you by Quizilla

Oh yes. Very much so! And I love his cool, computer-hacker persona too.


You would date Marik, The Evil meany! oh well you
can change him.


Which Yu-Gi-Oh! Boy would you date?(girls only)
brought to you by Quizilla

How dare you call my darling a meanie? And he did change already, you moron! **cuddles Marik.** But YAY! I got him on my results! XD


Brainiac


.:: What's Your Anime Personalitiy? ::.
brought to you by Quizilla

I consider this as pretty much being called Amy Mizuno/Anderson. And she rocks! I just saw a really kewl episode with her this morning. ^__^ I finally got that sixth DVD for the Sailor Moon S season and I'm right in the middle of it. Man, I'm loving it!

There was an adorable friendship moment too, where Hotaru is being controlled by Mistress 9 and just took Rini's heart crystal! And right before Rini passed out, she smiled and said, "Hotaru . . . I'm glad you're alright." AWWWW!! She didn't even get upset by what was happening, she was just happy to know that Hotaru was alive! Man, I've gotta use that in a fic. Have Rishid be mind-controlled and hurting Marik and Marik smiles and says something similar to that before passing out. ^O^!!! EEEEEEE!!! CUTENESS!!

Purple! You have purple eyes! You're a dreamer,
artist, poet, whatever. You enjoy all forms of
art and literature, and tend to be quite good
at creating them as well.


What Color Are Your Anime Eyes?
brought to you by Quizilla

I think the quiz was kinda off on what the eye colors represent, at least where YGO characters are concerned. XD I think it described me well, though.

I was irritated earlier today. That one strange girl I mentioned before, the immature one, thinks that I don't laugh because I don't find the things funny that she finds funny. O__o; I think she was out of place in what she said and rude, actually. Sometimes I wish I didn't have her as a contact. It only stresses me most of the time we're talking. And the role-plays she wants to do often just involve her trying to electrocute everyone. --.--;;;

On the cheerful side, I finally finished Paper Flowers chapter 9. I used the song "When I'm Gone" by 3 Doors Down. In the chapter with the big fight, I wanna use the Warriors song from YuGiOh, English translation, of course. XD I don't know whether the big fight will be chapter 10 or if I'll put another chapter or two before that. I don't wanna rush the story, certainly. It's my ultimate Ishtar tribute!

AND! I finally made a banner and a wallpaper, both sibling cuteness related. I'm so proud! =3 I thought it would be really difficult, but after pratice with Corel Draw and then making the final products on Paint Shop Pro, I found it was easy. Now I can make lots of 'em! ^O^ And Lisa is using my wallpaper on her desktop! ^O^ The best compliment a wallpaper maker can get.

Have I mentioned that Yami Marik is going to stab Marik when they fight on the roof? o.o And I wanna use this dialogue, approximately, though not in script format, of course. XD **despises script formats.**

Yami Marik: Remember what I told you during Battle City? That still stands. **stabs him in the back, enjoying listening to his cries of pain.** I'll send you straight to Hell!

Marik: **starts to lose his balance and fall, but then catches the edge of his Yami's cape.** And my answer is still the same. I'm taking you with me.

**They both fall.**

And that part will end the chapter. ;__; **cuddles Marik.**

Let's see . . . oh yeah! Last night I was watching Doctor Who and one of the guest-starring characters was named Marik! XD! He was a good guy, too. =3 I watch Doctor Who every now and then. It's a cult classic, cheesy at times, but fun. And I think Tom Baker is my favorite one who plays the guy. He's the one I always think of when I hear about the show. And . . . LOL. I always wondered if Pippin was trying to imitate him because he always wears that scarf around his neck.

I wish people would tell me more what they want when we set out to RP. That's the way Des and I always did it. We planned it out carefully so that each of us would have fun and get to do the things we wanted. If they won't tell me what they want, then I'll just wander off in my own direction with things and perhaps inadvertently change the whole plot from what was planned. That's happened more than once, with more than one person. I never really feel like the RP's are mine. They're theirs, with me following aimlessly and sometimes altering stuff. And if I'm getting what I want, but they aren't getting what they want, that isn't fair. I want them to do everything they want to do, anytime they feel like it. All I ask in return is a few little scenes of h/c and angst and fluff (and for certain things to be respected where Marik is concerned). That's all I really want. But I don't want anyone to feel that they have to forfeit what they want for me. Heck, if they can put up with my idiosyncracies, why can't I put up with theirs? I can, and do, and I want the RPs to be fun for everyone. I luv surprises, and don't want them to stop, but I also don't want to be the cause of changing everything in the plots.

This whole thing has been festering for a long time now. Finally had to write about it.

**does a cartwheel.** All hail the magnificent, for-once-not-lazy wonder that is Shopko! **happily places 6-inch Marik figure alongside her others and admires them as they pose in front of the monitor.** I swear, this is THE first time Shopko has EVER gotten something kewl like this in before Toys R Us or Wal-Mart have! And the figure is SO dang CUTE!! He has a sweet expression! ^o^

I also discovered that Topps is making new YuGiOh stickers >3 I bought the pocket-size album and two packs with 18 stickers each. This is so awesome! And I know *someone* should be very happy to hear that there are *two* Mokuba stickers for the set XD (Neither sticker of which I have yet.) And Marik is on the back cover of the album! **bouncebouncebounce.**

We had another strange experience with the car tonight too XD Seems Dad left the lights on once, the battery ran way down and got so bad that it didn't look like there was any light and therefore, Dad thought he had turned them off when we parked next, but he really hadn't and the battery ran all the rest of the way down! @@ Thank heavens for crowded parking lots and nice people heading to their cars in such crowded parking lots who can be stopped and asked for help XD All hail jumper cables!

I should be working on chapter 14, but I'm not sure I feel like it right now. I need some ideas big time! I have some for a bit later (including the wonderful snow scene I already typed), but as for now I don't have much I can work with. And I dunno how I'm gonna get Mokuba to do what he's supposed to. LOL.

I can hardly wait to continue the RP's I'm doing X3 Especially the one where Mokuba seems to be slowly dying from a poison that got in his system quite a few RP's ago. I have this unique Ishtar h/c idea to implement >3

I also have a lot of DVD's to watch XD Let's see . . . I gotta finish watching the Cowboy Bebop and the Mobile Suit Gundam Wing ones, and then I have another Gundam one (not sure if it's from the same version of the show, though) and three Sailor Moon ones >3 Well, one of those is a video, but anyway XD I got the Sailor Moon ones when we went out ^^ Today has definitely been good for me.

YAY!!!!!! I've hardly coughed at all today!! ^____^!

**ponders.** What is that weird mark under Duke's left eye? Is it a scar, a birthmark, or some sort of deliberate tattoo? I think it's probably a birthmark, though I enjoy the idea of it being some scar from an accident in his childhood that he doesn't remember! MYSTERY!!

I know Duke has a father in the manga, but so far in the animé no family has been mentioned for him. I'm kinda leaning toward the idea of him living on his own. More mystery! I like mystery ^o^

I wonder how characters like Bakura and Lita can live on their own without the authorities ever getting on their cases? Hmm. Of course Bakura doesn't *really* live on his own, since the Yami's around XD But that doesn't explain things for Lita. As far as I know, she has no Yami. Tee hee.

Did chapter eight of Family Ties. Poor Marik. Hesobrave! He's now facing his fear of the zombies to rescue Ishizu and the others! ^o^

Next week we're going shopping. We have a million things to do!! YES!!! **punches the air happily. LUVS to shop!** ^___^! I just hope I can get my Marik figure!!!