Ramblings and Musings of the Insane, Philosophical Ladybug

1. Which is your favorite fic? Lead Me Through the Fire, for Yu-Gi-Oh! Life After the Tears, also for YGO, would be a close second. They're both very dark and somewhat departures for me, Lead Me Through the Fire in particular.

2. Which is your best-received fic? If that means the number of reviews, it would be Frantic in Frisco, one of my old YGO mysteries. Last I knew, it had close to 300 reviews.

If it means simply the one with the most praising of comments, I couldn't say.

3. Which is your worst-received fic? Any fic that is ignored? I dunno. Oh, maybe Nose Job for Diagnosis Murder. I had so many people tell me they didn't get the punchline, even though it was so obvious. **sigh.** Also, Lady in Red for the same fandom. It was meant as a "day in the life" snapshot kind of thing, but people hated on it because they said it was boring.

4. Which is your angsty-est fic? Probably Lead Me Through the Fire. Also, that Carmen Sandiego fic where Sean is in a coma, Alive Beneath the Snow. Unfortunately, that one burned me out so bad that I haven't felt comfortable writing angst for that fandom since. Scott falling off the roof in real life hasn't helped, either.

5. Which is your funniest fic? **shrugs.** I think Adventures in Thief-Sitting, for YGO, was pretty amusing. And What Can Go Wrong, Will Go Wrong, for Final Fantasy VII. I'm planning a hilariously cracky fic for Princess Tutu using the prompt New Jersey Vegetable Monster.

6. Saddest? Lead Me Through the Fire. Disastrous, intense mystery, with Duke forced to pretend he is dead and come back as a harsh, cold person, interacting with Yugi-tachi under that persona while they believe Duke is dead. Also, there was eventually a real character death.

Some of my FF7 fics that focus on Nibelheim and Sephiroth's madness would qualify too.

7. Fluffiest? Probably those Zack/Aerith squeefics. I don't often write out-and-out fluff, but they lend themselves to it so well. XD;

8. Have you ever made someone cry with your fic? Oh yes, on lots of fics.

9. Which fanfic frustrates you the most? Any fanfic I'm having trouble getting written. Think Back on Yesterday, for Princess Tutu, has been causing me grief. But I actually have chapter 7 almost done, so it is no longer the fic frustrating me the most.

Maybe The Diamond Rose Glass, for FF7. I'm so close to finishing it, but I can't quite grasp how I want the climax to go and I'm mad at myself for revealing something in chapter 12 that should have been saved for the next chapter.

10. Which fic was the most fun to write? Oh gosh. Hmm. I really couldn't pick just one. Close Your Eyes, Clear Your Heart, for YGO, is a lot of fun. There's a mystery going on that ties in heavily with Lead Me Through the Fire, one that I'm anxious to reveal. I think there'll be some surprises.

The Diamond Rose Glass, despite my frustrations with it, was a ton of fun. I remember enjoying the descriptions of the bookstore and of Vincent's undercover work especially.

I also really enjoy my Princess Tutu ventures, particularly anything involving Autor and Fakir or Autor and Ahiru friendship. I really enjoyed writing Love is Not a Victory March, for the latter friendship, and the Phantom Hitchhiker trilogy, which more closely followed Autor and Fakir's friendship.

11. Which of the OCs you created is your favorite? Alexander. He inspired an entire race and culture, and hopefully someday, that novel will actually happen. He's like a kid, both with their innocence and their insight, and then occasionally he'll prove he's not as mild as he seems. If he gets blasting you, you're in trouble.

12. Are you better at oneshot or multipart? I think I'm equally good at both.

13. Which character portrayal do you think is your best? I'm particularly fond of my Siegfried von Schroider. He is an obnoxious, snarky jackass, but he's not a villain. He's very conflicted when it comes to his parents, as I've happily explored in detail in the few fics I've written for him.

I also am quite fond of my Autor. Everyone envisions him a bit differently, but I and some others see him as an innocent boy who doesn't really understand the seriousness of what's going on around him. I've matured his character and had him realize what a burden power can really be. He's also quite snarky, but insecure deep down, and he can become excited and enthusiastic over subjects he loves. He's new to having real friendships, but is trying his best with Fakir and Ahiru. He and Fakir mostly snark and banter at each other, or be awkward, while he's more open with Ahiru. He is coming to open up around Fakir as well, though.

A minor character in canon, to be sure, but I adore writing for Duke's store manager. His few lines in canon are intriguing, particularly how he notes Duke may have gotten in over his head. Duke seems to have confided in him, which is an intriguing angle. I like fleshing him out, especially portraying him as just an average guy who really doesn't want to get anywhere near danger and is afraid when he encounters something like a knife to the throat, but he doesn't run and is determined to see things through.

I also really like my portrayal of Duke and how I use mainly the manga backstory and personality for him, while adding the best of his anime counterpart. Duke is hence serious, cynical, and laden with facades.

14. What character is the most difficult to portray? I dunno. I also have trouble with Barry from Carmen Sandiego. I was really worried about my Rue, but I think I've managed to write her well after all. Though she isn't someone I'll be writing a lot for.

Thanks to that weird dream I mentioned, I ended up skimming over most all of Life After the Tears yesterday. It's still my favorite of my YGO fics. X3 But even so, there are some things I'd like to tweak around.

The main thing involves Duke's death. As it is, it's only mentioned in chapter 6, before his Orichalcos-controlled self comes to taunt Tristan. I'm thinking I should mention it specifically in chapter 1. The way it is now, Yugi is only thinking that he lost two friends before the Duel Monsters invasion (Atem and Duke, neither mentioned by name right then).

Of course, there's also the usual, feeling like some things could have been fleshed out more. There's some summarized places that should not have been summarized. XD;

I also started thinking that I'd like to overhaul Der Engel des Todes and then try to write the rest of it. There's two major things I've been thinking of that would alter the story's plot (I think, for the better).

Item #1: As it stands right now, Duke was found alive in the temple rubble by the Legendary Warriors. And I ... kind of have this obsession with exploring him being dead. XD; I don't know why, but I have for years. So I want to alter Engel so he is dead, and helps the other characters for most of the story as a ghost, but then is restored at the end.

Item #2: I think I rushed Alexander's original mission of stalking Alister/trying to kill him. I want to stretch it out!

I'm hopefully going to get Engel out, look it over, and determine if these things can be done.

One thing about it, I do *not* want to delete and repost it (and lose all my wonderful reviews on it). So I'd have to edit the content of each chapter with the new stuff. And in order for people to know it had been done, I'd need to have another chapter written and mention that in the author note.

The thought of really getting Engel going again definitely excites me; it was gearing up to be as shocking as Life After the Tears.

Today has been a good day. ^^ Mom and I made chocolate chip cookies for the first time in a while. I've been craving our homemade cookies for a long time now. XD; Especially ever since I tried a Granny B chocolate chip cookie and it was so extremely sweet. I was pretty much raised on the homemade cookies, which are not drastically sweet. XD The chips provide most of the sweetness. It took a while to bake them in the little oven, because the cookie sheet is just slightly too big to fit, so we had to use pie pans. They seemed to work out okay, though. ^^

We've actually been using that oven for over a year now. XD

Also, Dad told me something he would really like for Christmas, and I was able to find it on the website and buy it for him. ^^ I hope it gets here in time. The only other place I could see that had it was Amazon.com, and they charged too much. XD Dad's really hard to buy for, so I am very excited that I was able to find that thing he wanted.

I have a little bit of Christmas shopping done for my friends, too. I went out on Friday and got a couple of things. And tomorrow I'm going to get the rest of the stuff for them and hopefully some things for Mom as well! ^^ Mom's easy to buy for, and I already have things in mind for her.

When we went out to Borders, we discovered that almost every store in the mall has closed for construction. .___.; I knew that was going to happen, but I never once dreamed that it would happen at Christmastime! How stupid is that? They should have waited until January. It seems like every store was closed except the ones that have outside doors.

Also hopefully, the cold won't rear its ugly head again. -.-; After going out on Friday, I developed a weird throat. O__o; I can't call it a sore throat, because it wasn't, but it sure felt strange. That has gone away now, and I have had no other symptoms of a cold, except for a slight bit of congestion.

In the morning I worked on an Alexander essay. I finished it this evening and posted it at GO Studios. ^^ http://www.livejournal.com/community/gostudios/2635.html#cutid1

I wish I had eight of the YGO trading cards on Setsuna's wish list. XD She said she'd trade a 7-9" plushie (which are really about 10" or 11") plushie for every eight of the cards. I only have 1 of the 200+ that she wants.

http://www.ADVfilms.com is having another anime sale, through Halloween. If anyone wants to cash in on more deals like they had at Labor Day, now's the time! ^^ And they finally sent Saiyuki #9, which was on backorder. **pets it.**

And the Ishtars come back in the episode today. X3 That's going to be so great! Shadi's supposed to be back, too. Gotta love the mystery man.

I finished that picture of Musketeer and Alucard. Side7's still down, so I put it on Photobucket. http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v212/Marik4Me/beourguest.jpg You can see a piece of Alucard's real hair peeking out. She looks so perky. XD And I imagine them to be singing the last part of the song, when it gets a lot faster.

I love writing for Siegfried, I really do. XD Yesterday morning I wrote some stuff where he and Joey clashed and it was great. I guess Siegfried appeals to my mischievous side, because he's usually being a wiseguy and telling people off in an amusing way. I love how he's so smooth and calm. Then Alister appeals to my serious side, Valon to my playful side, and Raphael to my loyal side. And none of them seem to care what anyone thinks of them; they all just go through life being themselves, though they do tend to at least try to hide their vulnerable sides. I like to think that I am myself, without any facades. What you see is what you get. XD; Though I don't like appearing vulnerable and won't, if I can help it.

Alexander's story, whenever I get to it, will probably be a multi-chapter fic. I don't think I could deliver his tale to the best of its ability if I squeezed it into a one-shot. Before I started writing The Darkness Within, I briefly considered having it be a one-shot. I'm glad I didn't go that route. ^^;

Meantime, however, I need to figure out what to do with Duke in LATT. I was plotting with Stacey and came up with a basic plan, but now I need to fill in the details. I also need to decide when to have the first battle in Candy Clouds. Perhaps it should just be starting at the end of chapter 5 and then go on into chapter 6.

Oy. Earlier, Amelda-kun showed me an essay about Siegfried that was written by a cooing fangirl. Not only did the writer act arrogant and all-knowing, but she is one of the scary kinds of fangirls that lusts after the character. She drew a picture of Siegfried with his shirt open and talked about how she wished he would come to her and they could carry on like in a trashy romance novel. **sweatdrop.** She needs to grow up.

Also, she ignored one of the most important elements in a Siegfried essay: his relationship with Leonhard. How could she think she was doing a complete job without talking about his little brother? She actually seemed to focus mostly on Siegfried's bad side (his vanity, arrogance, and such). Now I'm sure not denying that he is vain and arrogant, but come on, that's not all he is. His brother is a sweet person and he helps to bring out more of Siegfried's good side.

I'm so excited for this morning! There'll be new shows all morning, thanks to the Fox Box beginning its new season. And to start and end my viewing of the shows will be the two new YGO episodes. Such fun. X3

And I have a Borders coupon to take 20% off my total purchase. It's a Students Only coupon, so I hope showing them my American School I.D. card is good enough proof to let me use it. ^^; I really want to buy Hellsing #4. I love all the manga so far, but I love #4 enough that I want to buy it now that I've read it online. I figure I can drop in at Borders on our way to the concert.

Lisa made that Alexander colorbar she's been talking about! ^__^ It looks really great! I put it up on my user info if anyone wants to see.

Alexander hanging around Dartz and considering him a father figure amuses me to no end. XD; I think I'm focusing more on that than on him being around Alister because I don't want it to be like he really is a Yami-type being who's always with the Hikari.


( The Creature That Fell From the Sky )

One Piece on Saturday was great! XD I loved the part where Luffy is giving Buggy a hard time. "Booger the Clod!" **laughs.** Seriously, Buggy is such a fool. Kuro would definitely see him as a disgrace to pirates everywhere.

Let's see. . . . I just got done doing a picture of Dartz encountering Alexander. I'm putting it on Side 7 right now. Also, I finally decided to post my computer-colored version of my first Alexander picture, which I've been working on off and on for a few weeks.

I finally finished my war fic. I couldn't think of a title for hours. I hate when that happens. Finally I just made one up instead of continuing the search for a good song lyric. XD; I'm lucky the title came to me. ^^; Now I must continue my chapter fics. And I must write a random scene that's been in my mind all weekend.

And the debate over what jobs the bikers might have presses on. XD It's very interesting. And I'm getting some possible ideas, from what people have been saying. Some of my ideas are rather bizarre, such as Alister designing websites. For some reason, I imagine him working at home. The stuff he does with the children is purely voluntary. I can't see him ever accepting money for doing that.

One of the Saint Tail DVDs finally has come in at the library! Really, I've been waiting years to see that show. XD; Albertson's used to have the first two DVDs in their rental section, and for months I wanted to get them. When I turned 18 I tried to register so I could rent them, but the rental place had some dumb rules (such as that I had to show a telephone bill before I could register), so I wasn't able to do it. ><; The bills would be in Dad's name, after all, not mine. Ugh. Anyway, so then finally the library got the DVDs and I wondered if Albertson's had donated their copies, because I never see them there any more and the library has the same volumes. I put myself on the waiting lists and that was months ago, in April or so. I'm hoping that now one of them finally came in, we can go get it tonight, along with the other stuff that's on hold.

In the morning I rewatched a couple of the Magic Knight Rayearth episodes that I own. They were the final episodes of the series and it made me both want to write a sequel that picks up right where the anime left off, and to create Alexander for the YGO fandom. XD;

Alexander, like Nova, is a doppelganger, a shadow of one's heart. He resembles his "creator" immensely, but he has two wings similar to the Change of Heart card: an angel wing and a demon wing. I'm still trying to decide if his motives will be similar to Nova's. So that the readers will understand, I'll explain about her. Nova was created during an intense moment of self-hatred for Hikaru, when she was forced to kill Princess Emeraude. As a result, Nova says that she loves everything Hikaru hates and hates everything Hikaru loves. She is always trying to kill Umi and Fuu, and later goes after Lantis. But! Here's the kicker: She believes that she's doing what Hikaru wants, because she believes what Hikaru was wondering at the moment of Nova's creation: Do people have to die in order to be together forever? Nova is naive, actually, and innocent as a child, which makes her all the more dangerous (and tragic).

Okay, so, with that information in mind, this is what I've been musing on for Alexander: I think he probably does love his creator and hate everything else, and he may want to kill his creator's loved ones, but I don't know that I want him to have the same motive as Nova. Nova should only be the inspiration for the character, after all, and not the pattern for everything he does. I do have in mind when Alexander was created: The point when his creator was being forced against his will to attack and injure his best friends. This caused such immense self-hatred that unconsciously he made a shadow of his heart. As to why Alexander has the wings, they're mostly symbolic. He has bad plans, but his intentions are good. Which actually describes the creator very well during a certain part of his life. Wow. **just realized that.**

Possible motives for Alexander:

--Because his creator wondered if it was always his lot to kill his loved ones, Alexander had decided to spare him the burden and kill them himself. Then he'll kill the creator, too, because he knows that at the moment of his (Alexander's) birth, the creator wanted more than anything to die, rather than to hurt his loved ones.
--Something similar to Nova's motive, but I don't think that would exactly fit the situation.
--Alexander is not after the creator's loved ones, but only wishes to kill the creator, because of the reason stated above.

And who is Alexander's creator? Just think about the various forms of that name. XD I picked the name Alexander for a reason. **often ponders for ages on just the right name for a character.**